Note: Woo, I haven't posted something in a while! Well, I was listening to the song "Is Forever Enough" by Hawk Nelson when I came up with the idea for this fic. This is NOT a songfic, but it is inspired by it a bit. Or maybe it is a songfic, but it's not one of those ones where you have lyrics broken up by intermittent dialogue/thoughts. A piece of the lyrics may have gotten in there somewhere... And by the way, please bear with me if pieces don't sound right. I AM still going through exams... fun.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men, Hawk Nelson... blah blah blah.
Is Forever Enough?
We used to be the same.
Sure, we had our differences. You stuck with the rules, usually. Back then, I never totally broke the rules, most of the time, I just… bent them to my convenience. But we shared a few things. We were both rejects, me being turned out by my family and you getting the police called on you by yours, once they found out what you could do. You tried to straighten me up; I tried to get you to loosen up. We got along all right, until I realized that we were living a lie.
Magneto showed me. I was being held back, we all were, and he gave me the opportunity to be set free. I left because we were wrong about the X-Men, that whole place. Now everyone I knew looks at me like I have the plague, even you. Or that disappointed look you'd give me, like I'd done something wrong and you were ashamed of me. That hurt me the most because you were the only person who really cared what the heck happened to me, and I cared about my best friend. Still care, actually.
Since I left, you never dialed my cell phone once. I can't remember how many times I called yours. All I know is that after a while I quit trying because I knew I'd never get an answer. I wasn't your best friend anymore, even if you were still mine. You stopped caring. I didn't.
Like Magneto showed me, I wanted to show you. I figured that if I defeated you with my gifts, it would prove that this is the right side, where there are no limits. Sure, it turned out that Magneto didn't care about more than my power, but he let me be free, and he trained me to hone my skill so I'd be more powerful than I ever was.
So I fought you. I was winning. I wasn't going to kill you, you know. I couldn't do that to you. I just wanted you to see how powerful I'd become since I switched sides. And maybe, just maybe you'd see reason. I began my speech: "You should've stayed at school." It was supposed to rile you up so you'd think about it. What have they taught me there? And then you'd realize that they couldn't teach you what Magneto could.
But then you did something I'd never seen before. Your arms reached out and grabbed my wrists, which startled me, and my flames sputtered. Your hands looked strange, and they seemed heavy and stiff. When I saw your face, it scared me. Not just because it had turned into ice, which is freaky in itself, but that expression underneath was full of cold, burning anger. Rage, more like. You actually hit me, a lot harder than you intended, I think. I hope. That was when I finally realized it: you were more powerful than me. I was wrong the whole time.
I heard those last words that you said before I blacked out: "You never should have left." Bitter and spiteful, maybe, but the straight truth. I am such a screw-up! You're always right, I'm always wrong, and that's how it's always been. I should've remembered that in the first place, then I wouldn't be in this mess. However, you were wrong about one thing: I wasn't trying to hurt you. I only wanted to help. If any part of you is still the friend I knew, you'll be there whenever I wake up. If I wake up. And I'll tell you I'm sorry. I'll try to get up and retrace my steps back to wherever I messed up.
Is forever enough?