Learn Me Right
It was finally over. The terror, the fear, the constant watching for Mor'du in the shadows. Dunbroch was at peace. Or was it? Not all were settled and able to let it all fall behind them. Merida would have, if given the choice, ran away from Dunbroch, had it not been for the one true thing that kept her sanity intact. Her family. Despite the occasional bickering between she and Elinor, she knew better than to try and do what she'd previously done, knowing now that it would only make things worse. She did love her family. Very much. And more than ever now, and she'd show it. She just wished, however, that she could have more of her freedom, and not have to deal with so much work around the castle.
Even though Elinor had changed back from bear to human and had learned so much since then, she was still trying to prepare Merida for the real world. Now Elinor was a little more patient when it came to these subjects, willing to listen and understand her daughter's wishes. Elinor knew, however, that deep down, Merida would need to give up some of her time to duties around the castle. Merida was more cooperative than she had been, but it wasn't enough to please Elinor. She tried, however, to keep herself together as much as possible now, knowing that if she'd done what she'd done before, Merida would definitely run away. There was an even bigger problem she had to deal with now, though. Merida had begun to battle with nightmares and the occasional night terror. One or the other would happen once, twice, sometimes even thrice a week. It was as if she was a baby all over again.
"Ah don't know what Ah need tae do, Fergus. Merida isni settled at night anymore. Have ye heard the dreadful wailin' from her room over the last few weeks?" questioned Elinor as she looked at an old family tapestry.
"Aye. It's almost like she's regressin'," he answered honestly.
A few months ago, a couple nights after the bear incident had finally ended, Merida was getting ready for bed. But just as she'd lain herself down, thoughts began racing through her mind.
"YE'RE NEVER THERE FOR ME! THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU WANT! D' YE EVER BOTHER TAE ASK WHAT I WANT?! NO! YOU WALK AROUND TELLIN' ME WHAT TAE DO, WHAT NOT TAE DO, TRYIN' TAE MAKE ME BE LIKE YOU... WELL, I'M NOT GOING TAE BE LIKE YOU! YOU'RE A BEAST! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! I'LL NEVER BE LIKE YOU! I'D RATHER DIE THAN BE LIKE YOU!"
This went through her mind until she became paralyzed into position. She was stuck in place, almost as if someone had glued her to the bed. She watched as the scene of her and her mother's big fight unfolded before her eyes, wanting to cry after watching the tapestry get slashed by the sword wielded by the then angry Merida, but she was unable to. Her body was just stuck. She watched every scene up until the moment her mom was to turn back into a human. But something was different. In this particular dream, instead of her mom turning into a human while the distraught Merida in the dreams cried her heart out, the beast lunged at her, its claws digging deep into her. The noise was horrendous. The bear's growling was too loud for the screaming to be heard. Then it had killed her, soon heading for the body in the bed. It pounced on her, and although her body had seemed to be paralyzed, she managed loud, blood-curdling screams of distress and panic. The screams never stopped, even when the door to her bedroom was opened and the dream gone. Merida was safe and sound in her bed, her body now a trembling, screaming, crying soul. She wailed and screamed like a little baby, not even stopping when a hand began stroking her hair.
"Merida," said a voice. "Merida. Merida. It's just ye're mum."
The screaming had lessened, but her crying and whimpering could still be heard. Elinor pulled her up, Merida now in a sitting position. She held her close to her chest, Merida burying her face into the shirt. She blubbered into her mom's shirt, "It's back! It's back! That witch is back!"
"Merida. Stop, Darlin'. No one's here to hurt you. That witch isn't going to hurt you now. Everything's okay now. Merida," managed Elinor.
"Merida cried into the shirt until it was sopping. But Elinor didn't care at the moment. She just let her daughter cry it all out, and the only thing she could do was stroke her down her back, pushing the messy red curls out of her tear-stained face.
"It's just a nightmare," She reassured her. "Just a nightmare. It's all okay now, Merida. It's all okay. Take some breaths now. It's goin' tae be alright. Ye've just had a nightmare."
Before long, Merida stretched out again, her mom beginning to stroke her hair. She sang "Noble Maiden Fair" over and over until a long, comforting sigh was heard, and soft, gentle snoring emanated from her slightly-opened mouth. Merida was finally off to sleep, dreaming peacefully.
"Ah know it's all okay now, Angus, but Ah just don't know how tae get over the nightmares," said Merida as she groomed him, Angus softly whinnying in response.
Though Angus was a horse, it was as if he had been enchanted. He always knew when his princess was feeling troubled, and even as if he understood her. He definitely could tell something was wrong, for Merida wasn't showing the brighter, more happy side like she'd used to. Ever since the bear incident, Merida had begun to withdraw. Maybe it was the fact the route she'd take was often a reminder of where the battle had taken place between she, Elinor Bear and Mor'du. The wound on her arm, thanks to great care from the doctor, was finally healing over, but looking at it only brought stress, panic, anxiety and fear to her eyes.
"Let's go a different route today," she suggested, Angus whinnying with gratitude.
Maybe now Merida would be more herself on this route. That was what Angus had hoped, at least, for he loved her and she loved him.
Merida picked a route that was unfamiliar to Angus, but she made sure to keep her eyes peeled. This route was new, but one Merida liked. She could see just how beautiful the land was now. This was the only spot of land she'd never really taken the time to explore. For a while, it seemed as if things were finally going to turn back to normal. That is, until she saw a pale blue light.
"Whoa! Just stop for a second, Angus," ordered Merida.
Merida watched the wisps, curious, but also fear stricken. Could this be a place filled with danger? Or did it have something that could help her get over her nightmares once and for all? She watched as they circled around a strange-looking tree.
"Wait here," she whispered, dismounting from her horse's great back and heading out to follow the wisps.
"Hmm," she said thoughtfully, watching as they blinked at the leaves on the branches before disappearing from sight.
"Aa! Ee! Oo!" sighed the wisps, their voices soon fading away.
"What are these for?" she wondered, picking a branch of the perfectly-rounded, soft, fresh green leaves before heading back over to her horse.
She made sure to have Angus trot slowly, as this branch of leaves was something she was willing to learn more about, and she couldn't afford to lose them. Because of how slow they'd been traveling, they did not return to the castle until evening, the two of them now tired, hungry and thirsty.
"Here Angus," she said as she led him into the stable, moving a big bucket of oats towards him.
She left for a few minutes, soon coming back with another bucket of water. After Angus whinnied his thanks, Merida headed home.
"Meda! Meda!" called the triplets, searching everywhere for their sister.
"Ah don't know where she is," sighed Maudie tiredly, having heard the boys calling for Merida for one hour two long.
She was tired after having been made to work overtime with the preparations for a ceilidh. Fergus wanted to celebrate the killing of Mor'du as soon as everything was finally in order again. But what was going to lie in store for Merida?
"Mum! Ah'm back!" called Merida as she flung open the doors to the castle.
"There ye are! We've all been worried sick about ye," Elinor admitted.
"Look what Ah found?!" she cried happily, showing the leaves as if she was presenting a gift.
"Where'd ye find these!?" questioned a now perplexed Elinor.
"Ah found 'em in a forest. Angus and Ah took a new route and the wisps showed me these leaves when we were stopped to take a little break," admitted Merida.
"Ah haveni seen these in so long. These are special leaves. Ye put 'em in hot boilin' water, and drink 'em an hour before bed," explained Elinor. "They say they're supposed to bless ye with healthy, happy sleep."
"Healthy, happy sleep. Just what ah need," smiled Merida.
"Only one is to be used, though. Terrible side effects if ye take too much," warned Elinor.
"Okay," Merida replied, Elinor taking the leaves and heading up to her sleeping chamber to hide them.
"Meda!" cried the boys as they ran toward her.
"Auch! Boys!" she laughed. "Ah'm okay."
Later that night, it was time for Merida to ready herself for bed. Her preparations weren't quite over yet though, since there was one more thing she needed to do.
"Here's your drink, Merida," smiled Elinor.
"Thanks, Mum," she smiled, happily taking the cup of lukewarm liquid in her hands.
Merida drank it all, and not long after, headed up to bed. She surely hoped this drink would work.
"I want ma freedom. Do you ever think about what I want?! No! Trying to make me like you... I'd rather DIE than be like you!"
These thoughts raced through her mind as she tried to ponder the real reasons why her mom had been the way she was. She knew that she was only trying to prepare her for the real world, yes, but why almost every day of her life? And why was it that something bad had to happen before something good happened? It was that way with everything. You fall sick before you have a baby, a cough from the common cold worsens before it goes away completely, and instead of feeling better after being in a loud place for too long, you feel worse. Why was this so? Why couldn't it just be one thing and not the other? Why did there have to be something bad if there was already bad at the start? Then she started to feel strange. Almost like her body was out of control. She began to shake. involuntarily. What was going on?
"Great. More bad," she said, her voice shaking along with her trembling body.
Instead of helping her, the drink seemed to have made her worse. Just as her frantic mind soon predicted. She knew this was the drink. What else could it have been? The more frantic her mind became, the worse she felt. It had soon gotten to the point her arms and legs began to jerk, almost as if she was having a sort of convulsion.
"Ooooooh!" she moaned, the jerking not letting up.
Her heart was pounding. Her hands were cold and clammy. She felt dreadfully ill. What was happening? She slowly sat up, taking some deep breaths before the jerking finally stopped, standing up, and walking unsteadily out to her parents' room.
"M... Mum?" stuttered Merida.
"Merida? What happened? Ye look pale," she commented as she sat up to look at her quaking daughter.
"Ah... Ah... I... think I'm... havin'... some sort of... reaction," she managed, grabbing onto the door knob before falling to her knees.
"Merida? Listen to me. Ye're havin' a nervous breakdown. That's all. Is there anythin' bad you're thinkin' of each night before ye turn in?" Elinor questioned after a moment of silence.
"Well? I have had questions racing through my mind. Like why is it that somethin' bad happens before somethin' good does? Like fallin' sick before ye give birth, or if you're sick it seems to only get worse and worse before it finally goes away," answered Merida truthfully, her voice a little calmer now.
"Oh. Merida," frowned Elinor, getting up to stand by her. "Ma wee darlin'. Look at me. It's the way things are. You learn from mistakes. Ye only turned me into a bear because ye didni know. Ye didni know that would happen. Right? There are stages to everything. That's what I believe. It's stages you go through. And no matter what, the end result is always worth it. Don't ye think?"
Merida thought a moment, and suddenly it was as if magic had been released. The quivering and shaking had stopped, and her colour returned to her cheeks. She realized, Elinor had a point.
"Okay. Well then, what about things that don't get better?" asked Merida.
"Then ye take that and learn from it. Ye have a certain breaking point if certain stages of the problem aren't dealt with. Everything is like that. Ye can't just leave a problem and hope it'll fix itself. Even births can go wrong. Ye could become dehydrated. The common cold could turn into infection. A fever could rise too high. There's a point in the problem where ye'll have to do somethin' about it. And if ye try and fail, then that's the area that ye take and learn from. That drink, for example. Ah think it was tryin' tae tell ye somethin'. Don't think bad thoughts before bed or while tryin' tae sleep."
"Yes. That ah was only thinkin' negatively about things. That's why I have these nightmares!" realized Merida, her voice almost too loud.
Unbeknownst to them, however, Fergus had awoken the moment Merida had come into the room. He listened intently to the conversation to see where it would lead, and he couldn't help but smile when he heard what Merida had just said.
"Aye! Like that! Now, why don't ye head back tae ye're wee bed, and get some sleep. Let's see how things are now. If ye're startin' tae think bad thoughts again, just remember what we talked about," smiled Elinor, kissing her daughter's head fondly.
Merida stood up, letting go of the door knob to hug Elinor fondly before turning back slowly toward her bedroom.
"Sleep tight, Merida," smiled Elinor.
"I will!" she cried.
Their doors closed in unison as the two each headed back to their beds, Elinor climbing into the blankets and snuggling up to Fergus, and Merida climbing into her blankets and pulling her stuffed horse closer to her. At last, Merida was comfortable, and her mind was now blank, other than the sound of silence and the light sound of the sheets moving as she adjusted herself. She stroked the horse's mane fondly before kissing its head, yawning, and falling quickly and soundly to sleep with a long and comfortable sigh.
Everyone had slept well that night, for once in what seemed like a never ending battle of horror-stricken screaming. At one point, Maudie had awoken, wondering if the screaming would start up. But pure silence was all she heard. The boys had awoken around the same time, but their ears were also met with silence. Finally, it seemed as if Dunbroch was at peace once more, and that everything would be okay from now on. And that was true.