Innocent
The innocent and the beautiful have no enemy but time – William Buther Yeats
He laughed, a real laugh, because he got it, he actually did, the joke. And again he caught himself thinking, remembering about the time he would have no clue about it, a few years ago. The days he would watch himself through Dean's eyes, the head tilt and confused eyes, and the fondness that would come with, that days seemed so long ago, lost in time as if they belonged to a different person.
If Castiel knew then what he knows now he would be ashamed, he still was, sometimes, because every time he would to that, watch trough Dean's eyes he would feel that fondness growing stronger, that emotion he never understood.
If he had understood then what he understand now he would have blushed, but that was then.
He, Castiel, had lost his old memories and, after what he had done, Dean could never feel the same way and even now, with his grace back, he wouldn't there to check it, now he understood and feel, and now was too late.
He could remember like it was yesterday, the days… the days when he would make a joke and Cas would respond with his trademark head tilt and confused bright blue eyes. But that was then, now Cas'd laugh, damm you Metatron, Dean didn't have to explain anymore, Cas just laughed , the blond hunter felt his smile fathered a little, Sam, the big nerd, didn't even look up, didn't even noticed – to what Dean was kind of grateful – too busy reading, the prat, Cas looked way as if something, some sort of revelation had hit him too, the blond wouldn't be surprised.
Almost unconscious, like he used to, Cas tilted his head but his eyes were sad this time, but it didn't matter, Dean's heart still skipped a beat, the same old feeling he tried so hard to ignore, he made peace with it a long time ago, it would never go away, he wasn't even in denial anymore, he just manage, he was in love with his best friend, an angel of the lord.
Now, he foolish hopped he had realized all those years ago, when he had a chance, when he was the righteous man, but he wasn't an idiot, he knew he had never had a chance, Castiel was an angel, always would be, he never had a chance. Specially now!
He was his worst nightmare, he is poison, an abomination in Cas eyes, his friend of course, but never someone to be trusted, much less loved. It was too late, it was always to late!
Sam was a nerd alright, yes! He would never deny that, but he wasn't blind!
And even if he was, his brother and his brother's angel were so painfully obvious a blind man could see! It was downright ridiculous!
The brunette hunter sighed, almost praying for a chance, a permition, to lock those two up in the bedroom 'till Sam was forced to buy sound cancelling headphones.
He really did!
The eye fucking had graduated to deep sighs and side long glances and it was getting really out of hand!
– Really guys? – asked him louder than he intended, well, considering he didn't intend to say it at all, a little bit louder was sort of an understandment, but, really, could you blame him!
– What are you talking about? – asked Dean fearful, he couldn't have been that obvious, could he?
– I'm sorry Dean, Cas, but really? I've been watching you pine and glance, and stare at each other for the past hour… actually, scratch that, for the past five freaking years!
– I don't understand – said Cas after a minute. Sam face palmed.
– I have no idea what you talking about – agreed Dean, Sam send him bitch face number one.
– Really Dean? You gonna play that car with me! We've stayed in enough motel rooms for me to hear you moaning Cas name more than enough times to wonder if Cas was actually there!
And if Sam weren't there himself to watch he would never believe Dean could actually turn that shade of red, I mean, was that even possible to a human been?
Either way, Cas was finally catching up, his, other pale, face had assumed a healthy shade of pink.
– I… what… Sammy… you
– Dean, really, save for someone else who will actually believe in you, that is, if they are blind, of course.
– Funny, very funny Sam – replied the blond, anger rising in his voice and Sa knew that meant time to go.
– No Dean, painfully obvious, look – said him gathering up his things – Dean, you love Cas, Cas you're in love with Dean, everybody knows it, so please, get it together already.
He finished before leaving the room completely, leaving behind a thoughtful Cas and a mortified Dean.
And silence fall, for about five minutes of Dean and Cas staring at each other.
– Dean?
– Yeah Cas….
– Was Sam right?
And that was it, all he had to do was say no, that Sam was being a little bitch and had no idea what he was talking about, but he couldn't, because Cas was looking right at him and those eyes still stared deep into his soul and he knew he could never lie to him, not like that.
– Yes cas, Sam was right – resignation feeling his voice up, and just like that, another friendship ruined, way to go Winchester!
Cas couldn't believe his ears, dean would never… couldn't.
– You're lying.
– What! Cas, no, I'm not – he could see how hurt Cas was, Dean wasn't lying, he wouldn't… he couldn't, somehow he found himself moving to kneel before Cas.
– Cas, please, look at me – and thank God, if he was still out there, he did, eyes starting to tear up.
– Cas, I would never lie to you, not about this. I really do love you, I have for as long as Sam said and I know you don't feel the same and you will probably leave me now like you always do, but Cas, I love you, I swear…
And Dean would continue to ramble if his mouth wasn't, suddenly, otherwise occupied, by Cas mouth, on his, it took about half a minute for Dean's brain to catch up and then he was giving as good as he got.
The kiss was chaste, but grew quickly from that, unfortunaly both of them needed to breath, Dean smile looking at Cas hair, all messed up by his hands and only by his hands if he had anything to say about it.
– Dean – called Cas, bringing his eyes down, to look at his own.
– I love you too
Dean's smile grew bigger and so did Castiel's.
On the outside Sam carried a very smug smirk, right beside him Charlie giggled while taking pictures of the love birds, he had run into her while leaving the bunker's library and both had stayed to see if they would finally get of their high horses and talk.
Kevin was on the other side of the hall, rolling his eyes and mouthing an "finally" before murmuring something about taking the long walk to the kitchen and leaving. Charlie left after a few seconds of… "fangirling" as she put it, whispering about a Doctor Who special.
Sam was right behind her, going back to his bedroom, he knew they would have a lot to deal with, between Crowley and the mark, but he also knew Dean'd fight a lot more now he knew what he had to loose.
Good things do happen, apparently.
So, this was on my mind for a while now and I finally decided to write it down. Hope you guys like it and reviews are always welcome…
Also, there's always room for a continuation, so tell me if you think I should do a continuation, and give a more happy ending, so to speak and yes, Charlie and Kevin are alive and well because they're to precious to die.