Discontent

I won't waste time with a lot of chatter. I've been planning a Bleach fic for a while now and finally inspiration has struck. I like to explore scenes and answer questions that were not explored or answered on screen. In this case, the question is what occurred within the Central 46 Chambers before it was discovered by Hitsugaya and Matsumoto.

So please read and review. I love to hear feedback, good or otherwise.

-Sor

Like most souls in the seireitei, I had never been inside the Central 46 Chambers. Such rights were reserved for only the most high ranking of Shinigami, so it was an intense shock when Ichimaru-taichou invited me inside. I was reluctant at first. I knew he was not authorized to enter and it was more than just instinct that set my stomach to churning. Something was distinctly amiss and more than just my usual insecurities told me so.

Still, I followed him inside, moving at a very reluctant pace, even hesitating at the door, peering into the darkness until Ichimaru-taichou turned towards me. His usual grin was absent and he wore an expression of serious intensity that was so rare it was almost foreign to me. Seeing such an expression was far more frightening than the fear of the unknown that had kept me paralyzed in the doorway.

Fear, it seemed, had become a much more prevalent reality as of late. I had spent what felt like an anxious eternity locked away beneath the third division offices for the simple offense of defending my captain. It was frightening, not only for the darkness (I felt a fool for fearing something so simple) but for the complete feeling of helplessness. I was afraid that I would be left there, locked away while the world went on around me. I was afraid for what may happen to Hinamori; her offense, grief driven as it was, was no doubt worse than my own. But most of all, I was afraid for Ichimaru-taichou. Who would defend him now that I was locked away? What would happen when the next grief stricken comrade of Aizen's asked for his head? Or even attacked him?

I was plagued by dreams, both waking and not, of Ichimaru-taichou. He was always alone and in every instance, some new shadowy threat emerged to strike him down from behind. Always from behind. I was no longer there to guard his back.

Yet despite my intense desire to somehow break free and reclaim my place at his side, there was something more that kept me trembling in the darkness. Despite all fears or good intentions, in the end I probably deserved to be locked away. I was the despicable man who had drawn his sword against his friend - not only his friend, but one of his dearest companions. I lamented that more than anything. It pained me that I had been forced to choose between Hinamori-kun and Ichimaru-taichou; that whatever path I chose would have been the wrong one.

But in the end, the conflict was driven away when he came for me. When he drew me out of the darkness and bade me follow him again, I did so with great relief. It reminded me of what was most important. Duty and loyalty meant more than the guilt suffered for a friend who had lost her rationality. Hinamori had attacked me with malice when she tried to drive her blade into the flesh of my captain, knowing what he meant to me. And it was only when he came for me that I realized that some emotions went far beyond friendship and to deny those emotions was only to lie to yourself.

That was why I followed him now.

"Don't dawdle, Izuru." His words broke the heavy silence. "There are important matters t' discuss." The serious expression faded, and for an instant I was looking at the Ichimaru-taichou that I knew. It was a comfort and drew me away from my dark thoughts.

"Hai, Ichimaru-taichou." It was so easy to bow and follow along, but it only took a few steps into the chambers before I realized that things were more than simply amiss.ྭ The chambers were silent and littered with corpses: forty-six corpses.

My body failed me. Legs turned to jelly and refused to hold, sending me stumbling to my knees, my entire body trembling like a leaf.ྭ My heart pounded loudly in my ears and the world seemed to stop. I was not sure how much time passed, or how long I stared, but my vision was finally obscured by a smiling face.ྭ But the smile was shallow, an attempt at reassurance that fell flat.

Ichimaru-taichou had dropped into a crouch before me, placing himself between my eyes and the horror of the death surrounding us. "Come now, Izuru."

"The boy is shocked. It is understandable." The voice was familiar, but in my state, I could not identify it. The only thing I could see was Ichimaru-taichou and it was an image that I strongly latched on to. But the sound of that voice drew his face away from mine as he stood, turning his back to me to face the familiar figure.

My eyes rose to the southern entrance, brows creased and eyes squinted as I attempted to penetrate the shadows. But it was not until the figure stepped forward that the familiarity became concrete.

"Aizen-taichou!"

He stood before me alive as he ever had been, looking no worse for having been dead for several days. My body was frozen again, and it seemed my mind with it. The only thing I could even hope to comprehend was that Hinamori-kun would be so relieved.

Slowly the world faded back into focus and I realized a change had come over Ichimaru-taichou. His grin had turned sharper as he took his place at Aizen's side and he was silent. So I was left on my own, still unable to rise, or even to focus on any act more complex than breathing. Even words escaped me and I was only able to voice a few incomprehensible noises before I gave in, questioning only with my eyes.

Aizen seemed to understand clearly enough, however, and he drew nearer, his face the picture of compassion and understanding. He lay a hand on my shoulder briefly, but then it slid lower and took a firm hold of my arm, doing what I could not and tugging me to my unsteady feet. "Yes, Kira. You have questions. And all will be answered in time. But for now you must trust us."

His smile remained, but there was a change in his eyes. They grew hard and I wondered for a moment if I had not imagined the kindness that had been there before. "You do trust us, don't you, Izuru." It was not a question.

Finally, I found my voice. "Of course." The words were an automatic response, but they clearly lacked the confidence Aizen had been expecting.

"What is the matter, Kira?"

How could he ask such a thing? Was it not obvious? My eyes sought out Ichimaru-taichou, but he had retreated out of sight, leaving me to face Aizen with no guidance and no reassurance. When my gaze found Aizen's face again, I sucked in a deep breath, attempting to force some kind of calm into my voice. But my own fear betrayed me and my voice trembled. "The… the Central 46 Chambers. They… they're… What's happened?ྭ Who has done this?"

At first, the only response to my question was silence, but after a moment in which I was left to tremble in uncertainty, Aizen answered in a tone so friendly and nonchalant, it nearly softened the true meaning of his words. "I have."

Panic struck me again, though it was slow in coming. My mind struggled to comprehend his admission. To think that the benevolent and kindly Aizen-taichou would admit to something so gruesome... Yet when finally I recognized the truth in those words, I surged backwards, pulling my arm from his grasp I had only stumbled a few awkward paces, though, before I met with resistance in the form of a pair of hands gently clasping my shoulders. I froze in their grip, only my eyes moving to find that unusually serious Ichimaru-taichou leaning over my right shoulder. "Calm down, Izuru. You'll have Aizen-taichou thinkin' I never taught ya any better."

I suddenly felt as if I had stumbled into a den of vipers and not even Ichimaru-taichou's presence could push away the feeling of immediate danger. I almost wished in that moment that he had simply left me detained in the Third Division holding cell. I had been afraid then, and confused, but at least I was not faced with such a horrible realization. I was now just as trapped, and even more afraid.

Yet, faced with such overwhelming emotion, I somehow heard his voice in my ear once more; felt the movement of long fingers against my shoulder. "Now's not th' time for all this. Was I wrong in thinkin' I could rely on ya? Should I've just left ya there in prison?"

To so many those words might have seemed cold, or even cruel, but I knew Ichimaru-taichou better than many and I saw in those words the same reassurance he had always offered. It was his way of expressing trust in me; of telling me he knew I was better than my current behavior. And so my pounding heart slowed and my trembling all but stilled. I knew so long as he was there, he would not lead me astray.

His grin returned then and the pressure on my shoulders vanished as he stepped away, resuming his stance a few paces behind. It wasn't much, but knowing he was there was enough. I found the courage, drew it forth from somewhere deep within, and lifted my gaze to meet Aizen's once more.

The formerly deceased captain bore a look of mild amusement. "You're still so skittish. But I suppose we couldn't have you any other way. I promise there is no need for such discomfort." He drew nearer again and his hand replaced Ichimaru-taichou's on my shoulder, but the grip was anything but reassuring. "I had my doubts about you; I still do, But Gin has spoken so highly of your reliability that I could not help but feel you were the only one who could help us."

Despite the courage I had found, my heart had begun to race once more. Not only because of my uncertainty, but more so because Ichimaru-taichou seemed to have such a trust in me. "Wh-what can I do to help you, Aizen-taichou?"

Satisfied with my agreeable attitude, Aizen withdrew from me and took a few slow paces towards the center of the room, stepping gingerly around a fallen body with little concern that it had once been a living soul. "As you can see, Kira, we have something of a problem on our hands. That is, our little sanctuary here is on the verge of being disturbed in a most unruly manner. There are those who have drawn too near and would disrupt our plans."

These words sounded fairly ominous and even more vague, but I dared not question. I could not have taken another encounter with those intense eyes of his. So I simply nodded slowly, indicating that I understood perfectly.

He took no issue with such a noncommittal response and even smiled in that same warm manner he had used so often when we all served under him so many years ago. It was a smile that made your entire soul feel warm, as if wrapped securely in the softest blankets; a feeling so intense it seemed unreal. "I'm sure you're aware of the obstacles that have been directed at us by some. Hitsugaya-taichou, to be precise He holds Gin responsible for my death, which as you see, could not be further from the truth." There was a brief flash of amusement in his eyes that was directed over my shoulder. "In addition, he has placed a great deal of stress on poor Hinamori-chan. All of this uncertainty is not good for her. She is fragile, as I'm sure you're aware."

He paused, releasing a soft chuckle. "Ah, but I stray. My concern for her well being at times takes more precedence than it should. It seems Hitsugaya has been poking his nose a bit too deeply into matters that are not his concern. My fear is that he should discover us here before the time is right. That he will insist upon intruding before I have had my chance to speak to Hinamori-chan. As you can imagine, there is much I must say to her without the disturbance of our rather… passionate young captain."

His words made sense. There was logic and of course, he knew Hinamori nearly as well as I and what he said was quite correct. Discovering that Aizen was indeed alive would be shock enough and any disturbance from outside parties would be disastrous.

Still, too many pieces seemed out of place. It took a moment before I was able to find my voice, but even when I did find it, it was no louder than a whisper. "But... wouldn't it be better if she... If she didn't know about all this?"

Despite the continued pressence of his smile, Aizen's expression turned indulgent and I felt as if I were back in the academy being scolded for ignorance. In fact, I felt incredibly stupid, but for what reason I couldn't say. His eyes closed and in a voice laden with exaggerated sympathy, he asked, "Would you be the one to lie to her, then?"

The thought had never occurred to me, that I would be the one to lie to Hinamori-kun... and nearly everyone knew I lied as well as I maintained my composure under duress: that is, incredibly poorly. Still, I could not imagine being the one to tell her that Aizen was alive and had slain the entire judicial body within Soul Society. She would have hated me for it... and worse. "B-but you said it yourself. She's already under too much stress..."

The Aizen I had once knew would have been delighted that I had taken the initiative to argue my point using his own words, but this strange, new Aizen did not look the least bit pleased. His gaze was hard and cold, bringing forth an intense shiver that rolled up my entire spine. "Stress that has come from the trauma of losing me. And of course, the betrayal of her dearest friend. A friend who would be so despicable as to draw his sword against her, all the while knowing she was not in her right mind. A friend who caused her grief to spiral into even deeper places in her heart."

The slow delivery of those words struck me blow after blow, causing my body to tremble and quake more violently even than when I came upon the slaughter within the chambers. The fear and grief that had overwhelmed me in the dark of my cell struck me again. I was despicable. Frantically, I turned my eyes over my shoulder in search of Ichimaru-taichou, but when I found him, there was little there to offer comfort. He simply watched from a few paces behind, his smile perfectly in place and no hint at all that he would offer me anything more than his silence.

However, Aizen had drawn nearer and there was a clear excitement shining in the depths of his eyes. Yet there was no change in the disapproving frown he wore. I only saw a glimpse of this; my fear had made it impossible to stand face to face. I could not endure those eyes again.

But he would not allow escape. His nearness was oppressive and he peered down at me from what seemed to be an even greater height than was natural... or perhaps I was only feeling twice as small. And was it just my imagination, or did his voice seem to reverberate from wall to wall. "But wouldn't you rather make it up to her? Or will you lie and betray her again?"

"N-no!" The word escaped even before his remark fully reached me, so fearful was I of proving to be as despicable as I thought I was. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt Hinamori.

Still feeling exceedingly small, it felt as if the last of my resistance was shattered. Able to do little more than stare at my feet and wring my hands, I made one final attempt to calm my voice and sound at least marginally confidant. "What do you want me to do?"