disclaimer: I don't own anything.
IF I WAS THE ONE
X
Flight JP98. A highly sophisticated jet of Paris International Airlines snaked through the vast darkness of the skies. Almost every passenger is asleep from the weariness of the long flight from Paris to Bristol; except for one whose eyes were fixed outside the aircraft's window. No, not even the long hours of her travel can make her sleep. She was so happy and excited for the moment that she almost forgot that it has been 24-hours since she had her last full sleep. She wanted nothing more but to reach their destination not only because of the fact that it has been nine years since she left for Paris to pursue her medical career, but also because of the letter she received from someone two weeks ago.
X
Naomi Campbell has been a doctor in one of Paris' prestigious hospital and she busied herself with nothing but work, work and a workload more. She lived alone in a house which she bought as a reward of her hard work: a fully-furnished duplex painted in cream-white with four bedrooms on the first floor and five on the second floor with individual bathrooms. She had a spacious living room and kitchen which she filled with an array of cooking instruments; it's one of the tolls of living alone, you have to learn to cook or else you'll have to live your life eating nothing but burgers and stuff like that. She was surprised one night when she arrived after her shift when she found a letter in her mailbox; which was so peculiar since she hasn't received any letter from home since both her parents died in an accident.
"A letter from Bristol? Who could this be?" she went on with the letter, a smile slowly formed from her lips.
"Was it just me or is it because of the vodka?"
She couldn't believe it. She shook her head and waited, as to confirm whether she was just dreaming and she could wake up anytime now. But no, the letter is true! And it really came from her…and it was for that reason that she applied for a three-month leave and arranged for her coming homecoming as soon as possible.
X
As she leaned back in her seat, she looked again at the stars which looked so near that it seemed that she could reach it. She closed her eyes, not to sleep, but for her to be able to cruise down memory lane again. She did this for the past years and, always ended up in tears knowing that it would be tough for them to see each other again. But now, she was filled with a different kind of joy.
"I can still remember vividly, Emily."
X
Way back ten years ago. It was a usual night of their high school years where they would go out every night and go home at the break of dawn. Emily's parents have nothing against it, though they knew that Naomi is gay, and besides, they perfectly know the two's whereabouts. It was just another laugh trip by the river, in their paradise; a big tree on the river bank with wooden swing that hangs from one of its big branches. Silver moonlight gives life to the restraint of the night where only the timid songs of the night birds and the last croak of a frog in a snake's pangs were heard. The calmness of the water was disturbed as two pairs of feet plunged into it. This is but a normal night supposed to be, but…
"Em, can I ask something?" Naomi said after they have calmed down from laughing their lungs out. Without even looking, Emily replied.
"Sure. What's that? Omg, just be sure it has nothing to do about Math or else I'll kill you!"
"Have you been in love?" Naomi asked. She couldn't look at her.
"What's that supposed to mean, you psycho?"
She didn't answer back. She was too guilty and too ashamed to tell her. It would sound like all those years she had taken advantage of their friendship. Hell, it didn't even cross her mind, not even once. She felt so stupid. She remembered that movie she saw last week.
"What's that tagline again? Oh, I remember!'I'm so stupid to make the biggest mistake to fall in love with my best friend'."
"Hey I said what is that supposed to mean?"
Still Naomi didn't answer. She just sat there beside her; looking at her eyes, mouth gaping as she forced the words to come out. A moment of brief silence followed, and after that, Emily gasped a lot of air that she could suck in a single breath and faced her. She looked at Naomi like she never has looked before. Deeply. Too deep that Naomi felt every inch of her tremble whilst gazing at those chocolate brown eyes.
"Oh my good God! Don't tell me you're in love, jerk!"
That remark was enough to make Naomi smile. She can always make her smile. Every person's dream is in Emily: she is beautiful, intelligent and comes with overwhelming patient. Naomi looked at her now, all fears forgotten as she cleared her throat. "It's now or never."
"Come on, don't be shy. Tell me who that pretty girl you've been drooling at is."
And as she shut all her fears and shyness, she boldly told the one and only girl she loves. She may go away, but then they can also end up together. The stake is worth the bet.
"She's so charming…" she started. "…the kind of girl that every person dreams about. I love her, but then I was so afraid to be rejected, that she would walk away from my life. Will you believe me if I say that 'she' is 'you'?"
She sat still. Emily's emotion slowly turned into anger. She couldn't bear looking at those blue eyes any longer. Emily stood up and turned around to leave. Naomi stood up as well and ran after her.
"Wait! Where are you going?" she said whilst holding her arms.
"Why haven't you told me before?" she asked as she spun around and faced her with her eyes accusing. Every look from Emily melts her; she didn't think that loving someone so very special will be like a crime. Still, Naomi didn't answer. Guilty, indeed.
"Are you mad at me?" was all she managed to say.
"Mad? No! I'm outraged! I felt like I have been taken advantage of. I'm mad because you made me believe that I'm just a best friend to you. And most of all, I'm mad because…because…I love you too!" with that final words came Emily's tears, streaming in her beautiful face. Naomi, with head bowed with shame, instantly raised her head the moment she heard those three magic words. She looked at Emily with questioning eyes; she couldn't manage to say even a single word.
"Could you please say that again?" Naomi said as she stared with disbelief and surprise in Emily's eyes.
"I said I'm outraged!" she said with usual roll of her eyeballs when she thinks the words she heard were as stupid as Daffy Duck. Nyaaa. Hm.c:
"No, not that one." Naomi replied, hoping she would be too kind to repeat those three words that sounded like a melody to her ears.
"Oh that I love you thing-"
Emily hasn't finished her words because Naomi was so ecstatic that she lifted her instantly and hugged her. Naomi waited for this moment long enough, and now, she had it within her reach.
They sat on the bench later that night after they were over with the confessions. Naomi had so many plans for the two of them. But after a while, Em faced her with unusual seriousness in her eyes. Seriously serious. She held her hands and said…
"I love you too, Nai. But my parents already arranged my marriage to the son of their friend. I love you with my entire life but I can't disobey them.
Emily started crying again. In that instance, Naomi felt the whole world collapsed. She doesn't want to cry, but the tears came involuntarily. All her plans and visions for the future suddenly vanished into nothingness. She wanted to say something, but again, she was so stunned to the point that she can't put the right words; afraid that she will lose her sanity any minute now.
"I'm so sorry Nai." Emily said in between her sobs. She hugged Naomi and cried in her shoulders.
"It's alright, it's not your fault anyway." She finally managed to say. She wiped Emily's tears and comforted her.
"I know that your family comes first, Em. I won't intervene. But promise me, if after ten years still you haven't married that guy, we will go back to this place again; if fate will permit such auspicious incidence. We will come back here, Em, in time when I can support you and maybe we can continue what we had."
They cried together, almost lost for words. They both held on to that promise starting that night. Ten years may be too long, but not for a heart that truly loves…
X
"We are now approaching the Bristol International Airport. Requesting all passengers to please prepare for landing." A disembodied voice cut Naomi short of her daydreams.
"Ten years Emily…I have waited for this moment to come." She said to herself as the plane slowly descends into the runway. After she got her baggage, she immediately hailed a cab and went straight to her house. She wants everything to be perfect tomorrow. She was like a high school student who goes frantic in preparing for her prom date. Tomorrow, she will see her love again…tomorrow.
X
7:00 am
Naomi woke up earlier than usual, not because of jet lag but because of her insurmountable excitement for this day. Their agreed meeting time and place is 9:00 am at their usual place; it was like a homecoming to the place that was once a witness to a young and innocent love ten years ago. She prepared for that day with a different kind of drive. She took shower for almost half an hour and chose her outfit for another hour. Not wanting to appear ugly in Emily's eyes, she kept on checking herself in the mirror to make sure that everything fits perfectly well. She glanced at the mirror for the last time and smiled; she is now ready for this day that she has waited to happen for a very long time…
"It's already time." she said.
Their meeting place was a 30-minute drive but Naomi covered it within 15 minutes because of excitement. She immediately proceeded to the riverbank and stood there. She couldn't help herself but reminisce all their happy times. She was in the middle of her recollections when suddenly a stone hit her in the back. She was surprised and she turned around furiously to scold the person responsible for it. She thought that it was one of the stray children playing pranks on some visitors, but she was dumbstruck when she saw someone so beautiful, with a very naughty smile on her lips. Words were left unspoken for a while as they look at each other. They were shy, or perhaps very much euphoric, that they can't manage to say even a single 'hello' to each other; they just stood there, smiling, as though they were not contented that it wasn't a dream. Naomi finally managed to assemble her guts and said…
"That hurts." She mumbled between her smiles.
Emily laughed at her comment. "You really are a wimp! I merely threw it and you said it hurts? You haven't changed a bit." And she laughs again…just the way she used to laugh back then. Emily walked towards her. Lame as it is, Naomi knew inside her that indeed, love makes the world spin as though it is in a slow motion and that it activates a kind of built-in radio in your ears that makes you hear a dramatic love song as a background from out of nowhere. She hugged Naomi, and Naomi did too.
"Jesus fucking Christ, thank you! This is really not a dream." She said to herself as she held the woman she loved in her arms. She hoped that time would stand still and that they will stay like that forever.
"How have you been? It's been a long time since we saw each other." Emily asked her.
"Fine. I had a good job in Paris. I missed you a lot." Naomi answered.
"I missed you, too, Nai. I've waited for this day."
They held each other's hands as they strolled on the banks of the clear river. They played the games they used to play. They laughed and chased each other, like the world was crazily theirs to own. Both of them sat under the big tree and watched the sunset. They waited for night to completely cover the skies and started to count the stars as they appear in the night sky. In that moment of tranquility, Naomi confessed what she felt for Emily, she was determined to win her love and be with her forever.
"Em, do you remember our promise ten years ago?" she asked.
"Yeah, I remember it clearly." She answered, but Naomi felt that something was there in her husky voice as she answered her question…sadness, is it? She didn't mind it at all, thinking that maybe she is just being paranoid.
"When I go back to Paris, I want you to come with me. We'll start a life there together. Like I promised, I will come back to you when I am able to support you. Em, will you be with me forever? Please?" she delivered her line as perfectly as she rehearsed. She took out the ring that she bought years ago. Naomi reserved it for this moment, and now that the time has come, she wasted no time in telling Emily. Emily looked at the ring and said…
"I'm sorry, Nai. I can't take that." She bowed her head and started to sob.
"Hey, why are you crying? You alright?" Naomi started to panic.
Why had she not accepted the ring? She was confused and afraid at the same time. She thought about the favorite series of some nurses in the hospital where the girl didn't accept the proposal because she was sick and is about to die. "Jesus fucking Christ, forbid it!"
Emily told her the long story that the arranged marriage which she thought would never push through will take place a week from now. And as Naomi absorbed every word told by Emily, she again felt that the world collapse on her; just exactly how it felt 10 years ago. She felt that this time, this would really mean that all her dreams will end.
Regardless of the painful reality, they both accepted that whatever they do, they were not really meant for each other. They accepted the fact with their eyes closed so that tears would never show. They both agreed to skip the part where 'goodbyes' and 'farewells' are said. Together, they cherished the last few days left before Emily's marriage will take place. They did what they used to do way back then: they swam in the river, had picnic on the riverbank, and chased each other in the field near the river.
It is quite so ironic that they had a very good time during those remaining days after which they would surely step out of each other's life. Pain and disappointment…shikatta nai yo (that can't be helped). Obviously obvious, it's inevitable, human as we are.
X
sorry for some stupid errors.. my bad..
For those who'll read this.. again, thanks a lot.. ;) reviews? I don't really mind if there's nothing..
So 'If i was the One' by ruff endz.. title it is.. last song syndrome.. cool song.. try listening to this song so that you can picture out the situation.. it's really painful..
Ja! Mata-aimashou.. 'winks'