Chapter One: Lingering Memories

Rachel Berry found herself sitting before her family's piano, staring at the blank music sheet before her while the black pen in her hand lightly tapped against the wooden stand. She had just returned home from the coffee house after experiencing her second kiss from one Blaine Anderson. As Kurt had predicted, Blaine was in fact gay, and though sadly, it was due to her kiss that made him realize this fact for certain. Rachel didn't mind. The only thing that was on her mind at the given moment was the song she was trying write from the whole experience. The song was for glee club and though, it wasn't required for her to write it, it was the only way to prove to the rest of the glee clubbers that she was right - like she was always - and that they should take her more seriously as a member and leader of the club.

And after the week she had, one would think that she would have plenty to work with for a song. At least one that was better than her first.

But the brunette found herself staring blankly at the off white paper, examining the black lines that seemed to race across the page in a rather mocking fashion. It was frustrating! How hard was it really to write a song? Rachel had sung and listened to hundreds - some of which she was surprised even sold records - and she was very expressive when it came to how she felt at any given time of the day, so music should be flowing out of her right now!

But it wasn't.

She pushed herself up and started to pace the length of the room. She thought back to the previous weekend. To the party that she had thrown and her first experience with alcohol. That very weekend had stirred a lot of emotions inside of her; more than she had thought was possible for one weekend. She had kissed Blaine during a game of spin the bottle, so when the bottle had landed on him it was required of her to kiss him. The surprise was that she had felt something. She wasn't supposed to feel anything towards him because he could not reciprocate those feelings. But even with those facts, she still felt… something. She ignored that fact that the spark disappeared as soon as they both were sober since that fact didn't fit with her problem. Alcohol couldn't be the sole reason to why those feelings happened. Alcohol skewed perceptions, of course, but not to that extent, right?

As she thought about it, Blaine did have the qualities she looked for in a guy: A great voice, leading man potential (he was the lead in his glee club), had the same amount of Broadway knowledge that she possessed, and the willingness to perform randomly, no matter who was watching. Qualities that only one other person she knew had.

Jesse St. James.

Now that was a person she struggled not to think about for the past six months. But no matter how hard she tried, small whispers of who he was - what she liked about him - always lingered in the back of her mind. She could still see his face, his golden curls and chiseled features. She could still hear how well his voice paired with her own or the sound of him releasing a breath when he smiled at something truly amusing. She could still feel what it was like to be wrapped up in his arms and how his lips sent shivers through her whole body when pressed against hers.

But what she remembered most of all was what ended it all, what destroyed the fairy tale she had in her grasp. A simple sound of an egg breaking against the top of her head and Jesse standing there in front of her with an unreadable expression. Was there remorse or regret in his steely green eyes or victory? She had looked back so many times in searched for the answer, but found none that would completely satisfy her. The whole event was humiliating and she had no idea how she endured it the way that she did. But Rachel Berry wasn't the kind of person to let something push her down. No, she always got back up even when no one expected her too. She did learn one thing. That a person like her had to be careful of who they allow themselves to be vulnerable with because not everyone who says they loved you was going to have your best interest at heart.

Rachel slowly collapsed back on the piano bench and let out a long sigh. Had her attraction towards Blaine only been her mind's way of telling her that she couldn't avoid missing Jesse. It couldn't possibly be it. Things with her and Jesse had long been over and she knew it in her heart that she loved Finn, even though they were still broken up.

But there was only one way to be sure…

Rachel reached inside her bag and grabbed her very pink cell phone and skimmed through her contacts. She hadn't deleted his number like Finn had asked her too - she just couldn't when the time came - but instead placed it under a different name: Melchior, a character that both her and Jesse were quite fond of. Her phone soon highlighted the name and her throat ran dry. She could do this; this was just… just a phone call. Nothing more, nothing less.

Biting down on her lower lip, she pressed okay and placed her phone against her ear. She listened to the dial tone and the sound of the other line ringing. Once, twice, three times it rang before she heard it click and was greeted by the voice that made her heart skip a beat. "Hello," Jesse said rather simply and Rachel soon found herself speechless. Her mouth opened but nothing came out. In a bit of shock, she quickly pressed end and tossed her phone to the couch. Unsure of what to think.

But then her phone rang, and she was greeted by a familiar ring tone: The Guilty Ones from Spring Awakening and it only belonged to one person in her contacts list. She cautiously grabbed her phone back and stared at the ID. Jesse had called back; she should have known that he would hit redial. With a deep breath, she answered.

"Did you just call this number?"

Jesse seemed rather annoyed. It was warranted, seeing as she did just call and hung up on him. But his tone didn't sit well with her confused mood. "Yes, I did in fact call up, Jesse," She should have addressed him by his surname; it would have sounded more mean, hostile. But Rachel could never bring herself to do that, it didn't sound right coming from her lips. "It doesn't matter why anymore, since I decided that I would rather not talk to you."

"Then why did you put in the effort in calling in the first place, Rachel?"

The sound of her name caught her by surprise. She hadn't expected him to say it. Berry, maybe, but not Rachel. It was nice to hear it, to hear him say it. But she knew there was a complete difference between hearing her name from a receiver and hearing it directly from his lips being whispered into her ear. The second option was the more pleasing one. She shook those thoughts away and let out a soft sigh. "Maybe I wanted to see if you would answer. I wonder if you would recognize my number and still answer or if you just forgotten everything all together."

There was a moment or two of silence before she listened to him let out a long breath. It was hard to decipher the meaning of why he was taking so long to reply. Though, it had always been hard to figure out Jesse. "I haven't forgotten you…"

Those four simple words weren't what she had expected to hear. 'You shouldn't have called' or 'why are you wasting our time?' was what were her expectations but not what he had given her. She allowed the phone to fall from her ear when she couldn't think of any words to say in response. No snarky comment would suffice, her heart wouldn't have been in it, and she couldn't allow herself to think about what she felt after hearing him say those words. So her thumb hovered over the end key until finally she pressed it, ending the conversation finally. His voice, his word flowed through her mind like a cold wind. Silently haunting her.

She slowly sank to the ground and hugged her knees to her chest, feeling her brown eyes well with tears for the boy who had broken her so many months ago. She had thought that she was done with crying over him. She had thought she was finally over him, over boys. But she now realized that she wasn't and she had no idea what she was going to do.