Things Bella is not allowed to do. For obvious reasons. Thanks to Julia and Ally who helped me with this chapter!

1) Tell Edward she's getting a divorce.

2) Tell Edward she's going cliff diving, again.

3) Buy a monkey,

4) Name him Edward,

5) Every time she yells Edward and he comes running, tell her that she was calling the monkey.

6) Rob a blood bank and blame Jasper.

7) Shoot an Emmett and Rosalie porn video.

8) Put it on the Internet,

9) Sell it.

10) Make a video of her and Edward having sex.

11) Give it to Jacob

12) Tell Jacob he's never allowed see Nessie again.

13) Tell him she sent her to boarding school.

14) In Hawaii

15) Forget to tell him it's all a joke.

16) Tell Edward she had an affair with Mike.

17) Right before the marriage.

18) Tell him she's not sure if Nessie is his or Mike's.

19) Tell Edward she got a chastity belt.

20) Tell Edward she sold his Volvo.

Ok so good or no? This is my first thing like this so yeaaaa…

xXx Olga xXx