AN- don't own nothin

She says it's my fault. I was what pushed them over the edge. I disobeyed, so her and my dad got in an argument. They were yelling and his parents didn't know what to do. The entire restaurant was staring, but I was too worried to be embarrassed.

She says it's my fault. She also says I'm stupid, manipulative, lying, slutty, disobedient and a13itch…

Thanks, mom.

She only says those things when she's mad… which is pretty much all the time these days. The problem is that she says this all to me.

Me. The person who listened to her pain when they fought. Who gave her tissues after my dad yelled and threatened divorce. Who's heard her speech of "Nobody in the World Loves me Except you and your brother" so many times that I've actually been able to write it down word for word.

Today she said it's my fault. Maybe I'll get lucky and get sent off to boarding school…

Who am I kidding? I'm never lucky.

I love my mom. I love my dad. But that's just it. I don't love my mom and dad. They only argue and yell.

It's not my fault. I know that. I'm not the one that complained about stupid things my dad did while wondering why her marriage is falling apart. I'm not the one who's daughter is the only person in the world that makes her angry enough to cuss at. I'm not the one who had a child before her and my dad could raise one…

Oh, yah. Another thing- I was an accident. Lovely, ain't it? The ironic thing is, they named me Cherish…but it's pronounced Sherish. My parents get a big kick out of telling people. They didn't want kids until about my brother's age. So, having all this in mind, let's review the morning activities, shall we?

I walked into the door from feeding the dog. I had my hair pulled back into a ponytail. Thank goodness it was summer, or I would have had to get up even earlier than this.

My mom was waiting for me. "Come here."

Crap. What'd I do now? She didn't even use my name… which means she's really mad.

I walked over to where she was. She laid something in my hand. It looked like…

"Congratulations. Because of you, he said he's done."

"What?"

"That's right, Cherish. You were the straw that broke the camel's back. I can't believe you'd be so stupid! Why can't you just shut up! You go away for over a year and then you come back and cause problems as soon as you get here! You should have left earlier and stayed there! Maybe we'd be ok if you'd just leave!"

I looked her strait in the eye.

"This is not my fault. Don't try to pin this on me."

"It is your fault! You should have just shut up and took the water! Instead, you had to get your father on your side and start a war! I was trying to save money, but NO! You had to beg and complain for your sweet tea. Well, was it worth it? Did it taste good enough to live with the fact that you ruined our marriage?"

"That's not true! I even offered to pay for my own meal!"

"It is! I asked him if it was because I was trying to get you to drink water and he said yes."

I highly doubted that was true, but who am I to argue with a parental figure? Oh, right…

"Don't try to blame me for this! I listened to your crap for years and I'm sick and tired of it! I'm the one you always COMPLAINED to. Don't you dare try to blame this on me!"

Enter bipolar mother.
"Oh…Cherish. I'm so sorry."

I knew what she was about to say. I'd heard it so many times. The same old apology. Used so much it doesn't even mater any more…

"You know, you and your brother are-"

"the only ones who truly love you for you…I know mom! Don't you think I've heard all that before? You know what? Maybe if I wasn't born, you could have just had Kevin, and ya'll would be a happy little family! How's that sound?"

I was so mad right now, that if I cussed… which I don't… that I'd be making the most crass sailor blush. I turned around and left. I didn't need to hear how I was ruining her life. I didn't need to hear any of it…I was leaving for good.