A/N: The chapters here are unrelated stories, written for the drabble challenge on LiveJournal.
OF ALL THE THINGS I'VE LOST, I MISS RACOON THE MOST.*
Summary: Racoon, Danny? You're looking for a racoon?
Beta-ed by Verasteine
Warning ;) - dialogue without description
Genre: Crack, Prompt: Racoon
"Racoon, Danny? You're looking for a racoon?"
"Yes, damn it!"
"Under my sink?"
"Yes! Under your sink, what does it look like? I am currently lying, on my back, under your sink. I told you I'm looking for a racoon. The logical conclusion is that, yes, I'm looking for a racoon under your sink."
"Why are you looking for a racoon under my sink, Danny? Why are you even looking for a racoon at all? There aren't any racoons in Hawaii, you know."
"What?"
"No racoons. In Hawaii."
"I heard you the first time! Damn it, the guy who sold it to me assured me that it was real, honest-to-God indigenous species!"
"Well, I'm sorry, Danny, but no."
"What a fraud!"
"So whatever did ... whatever ... It was most likely something else. Wait! Did you say you bought-"
"Yup, for Grace."
"You bought a racoon for Grace?"
"Yes, I bought a racoon for Grace! What's the big deal? She wanted some Hawaiian animal, and I thought this would be the least ... harmful."
"You're not serious."
"Ungh."
"What did it do, exactly? Let me see. Did it bite through ... Uh, Danny? Why did you dismantle my drain?"
"It must be in there somewhere."
"The racoon?"
"Yup."
"In the pipe?"
"Uh-uh."
"Danny, racoons are this big. They wouldn't fit into a pipe. Danny?"
"Well, this one was this small."
"Uh?"
"Uh. I think ... Wait ... There! Damn it, it's dead."
"You found your racoon? Wait, this is your racoon?"
"It was my racoon butterflyfish. Now it's a dead fish. Guess I shouldn't have kept it in the sink."
)* The title is a paraphrased quote of Mark Twain "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"
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