Before the holes get picked, I don't actually think that the cheerleaders in "Fair Is Foul And Fouls Are Fair" are Sybil, Clarice, Fenella and Griselda but they are for this story. Is that OK?

I don't own anything apart from the laptop on which this is typed :)

As soon as the notice advertising the basketball match against Haversham High went up on the bulletin board, a somewhat larger notice (with Mongolian writing on the top left corner) appeared on top of it, asking for cheerleaders. It was hard to miss it, but just in case anybody did, hundreds of neon stickers appeared in all sorts of unsuspecting places around the school asking for the same thing. No volunteers had turned up, but Davina Bat was not a woman easily fazed by such a tiny matter. She had her chants all ready (and they were rather good, if she said so herself) and she had her pompoms already, so it was just a matter of finding people. In the end, the "volunteers" ended up comprising Fenella and Griselda (who were always roped into doing the dirty jobs) and Sybil and Clarice (who had been cornered by Miss Bat in one of her most "creatively inspired" moods and had been too shell shocked to think of a decent excuse not to do it.

With one day to go before the game, Imogen snuck away from the staffroom that lunchtime to spy on the empty classroom where the cheerleading rehearsals were taking place. To be fair, she also wanted to escape from Constance's disapproving glances at the many basketballs and pompoms which seemed to have sprung up from nowhere into the staffroom and barbed comments that "the staffroom should be the one place where we don't find this paraphernelia, Miss Drill."

As she approached the chanting room, she could hear several voices chanting "C-A-C-K-L-E, hear it for the Academy!!" before Davina was shrieking at them to stop. Imogen sneaked a glance through the open window and had to fight down a laugh.

Fenella, Clarice and Griselda appeared to be holding Sybil (who was sitting, surprisingly and impressively, in the splits) in the air, while Davina was berating them for their lack of school spirit. Aside from being rather impressed and making a mental note to move the first year gymnastics classes forward, Imogen was somewhat stunned by the level of effort being put in to the cheerleading. She was also possibly concerned for the girls' welfare – during yesterday's rehersal, Davina had apparently put a spell on the two third years so that they would "find their inner acrobat". The first anyone else knew of this was when Griselda started using the banisters of the main stairs as a gymnastics beam and Fenella spent most of the afternoon walking on her hands. After being given a talking to by Miss Cackle, it appeared they were going for natural ability.

"Miss Bat? Maybe we should leave the gymnastics? It might distract the second years," Clarice offered tentatively, her orange hair sticking out frizzily.

"Yes, but it might distract the other team as well!" Davina was chirping, as Sybil clambered down out of the lift.

"Can we please drop it, Miss Bat? My legs hurt," she winced – sitting in the splits for long periods of time was not comfortable.

Imogen watched, amused, as Davina looked crestfallen, before springing back up again like a cork out of a bottle. "Maybe we could do some Mongolian chanting! I still have some yak's milk! Let me see if it would work!"

To the surprise of the first years and amusement of the the third she sat down on the floor and started levitating and shaking the luminous green pompoms as she chanted "Kimono, kafkan, rucksack, flip flop, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Imogen dived away from the window, as not only the chanting windows but several others. a few roof tiles and Davina herself crashed to the ground. As Constance's angry shouts came echoing down the corridor, Imogen escaped to the gym, fighting down a laugh. Whatever she remembered about Haversham's motivational and frightening) shouts, they were certainly no match for the Cackle's cheerleaders.

To this day Miss Bat and her cheerleaders always make me laugh. This was inspired in part by, and also dedicated to, the cheerpom class at the Eclipse Dance Company in Shettleston. All together now – E-C-L-I-P-S-E, we're Eclipse Dance Company!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R&R :)