A/N: This was written as an answer to Candle's song fic challenge. The song is from Reba McEntire's c.d., So Good Together. I can't lie…this isn't the third song on it but the third song was one that made no sense to me.
I don't own the WWE, Kevin Nash, or the Scoobies. I don't own the song either.
Felt so right for awhile, almost really believed
I could stay here forever, my heart could be free
Oh I wish it were that easy but it's never been for me
She knew it wasn't to be. She'd always known that. That didn't stop her from wishing, from hoping. She only wanted to find a place to belong but she knew that that wasn't going to happen.
The company felt like home. She Slayed at night, always being careful so that that he wouldn't notice. No one in the company had. It was ironic, really. She was careful but she would still have to leave.
Her heart was beginning to feel like it was safe, but it was time to move on. The more time she spent here, the harder he'd take it.
I'm not your girl
Feels so warm and so safe here, now don't get me wrong
But it's selfish to stay here; I'd be leading you on
Maybe someone else can give you what you really really want
But I'm not your girl
Buffy ducked her head. The song said it best. A Slayer had no business with the heart of Big Papa Wolf. Kevin Nash would forget her. He would move on, grow older.
She'd talked to Giles just that evening. The End was coming. She had to be there, or else.
They say people change
I wish it were true
It's something I've tried so hard to do
Now I can't explain why right seems so wrong
And I keep hearing the same old song
I'm not your girl
I'm not your girl
Oh, she could explain it. Her kind didn't live to see 18, as a rule. She'd made it to twenty-one. According to the newest prophecy, the twice-lived Slayer would die the day she gave birth. If she were cruel, she would kill the children now. Abort them, and all would be fine.
But she couldn't do that. Whoever had written that prophecy had known that fact. And they had to have known what she was giving up.
She was unwed and pregnant. She could only hope that she would live long enough to have them. They would grow up with their father; they simply had to.
She would be the first Slayer to give birth in multiple millennia.
See I've been here before, left a good thing behind
Can't see where I'm going, maybe love's really blind
And I'm so afraid to lose the one who was so hard to find
But I'm not your girl
They say people change
I wish it were true
It's something I've tried so hard to do
"Willow, promise me that you won't tell him what my destiny was."
The redhead knew how much those words took out of her. But she knew that Buffy wouldn't be ready to face the threat to her children until she promised. "I promise, Buffy. Sleep now. Your children need the rest." She did too. Willow had thought that Buffy had been bad about having to die when facing the Master, but, apparently, she was even worse this time around.
Now I can't explain why right seems so wrong
And I keep hearing the same old song
I'm not your girl
I'm not your girl
One day I'll come back here, and I'll knock on your door
She'll be sweet when she answers, and I'll know for sure
Kevin couldn't believe it. She'd left. Told him to move on. Told him to marry someone else. Why didn't she understand that she was the only one for him? What was he supposed to do without her?
That life is never easy in my complicated world
She left the tiny babes with Giles. She'd always known that she wouldn't grow old. She'd never be married. But now she knew that she wouldn't be there to watch her son and daughter grow.
She'd miss the twins' birthdays and she wouldn't get the chance to tell Kevin the truth.
Somehow, that was the thing that she was the most upset about. She'd never get to tell him that she loved him.
The letter she'd left for him had told him to forget about her. Giles had the one that told her real feelings but she'd given him strict orders to burn it.
Her head held high, she walked into the cave where she had once battled the Master.
I'm not your girl...
He knelt by her grave, tears blurring his vision. She was younger than he'd thought she was. Only twenty-one. He still didn't know much about her, but he did know a couple of things.
She'd been every dream he'd ever had, all wrapped up into one.
He would never be able to forget her and move on. No matter what that final letter had said, he had loved her. And maybe he was being foolish, but he'd really thought that she loved him too.
A redhead that he'd noticed at the funeral came up to him. "I'm Willow. Buffy made us all promise two things but we agreed that some promises were meant to be broken."
He was mystified by then. "Huh?"
She smiled. It was a watery smile, but it was there. "She loved you so much. But she knew that she would die young; it was her destiny to die young. But it was also her destiny to love you."
He gaped at her.
"And it was her destiny to fight her first love on the day she had your children." Willow figured that he didn't need to know all of it. "Meet Kendra Elizabeth Nash and Jesse Giles Nash."
"Hi there, little ones. I'm your daddy."
And inside of Heaven's gate, a Jamaican girl comforted a tiny blonde woman. She had known that that she wouldn't get the chance to become his girl, but it still broke her heart.
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