A/N: Ahoy, me maties! ::Is smacked by muse, a three inch tall Jack Sparrow, hard, for using such a fake, cheesy "pirate" phrase:: Welcome to the first chapter of my first (published) potc fic, although by no means my first fic. Jack is such a hard character to write!! ::watches as muse takes a little bow:: I think I've done him pretty well. :::is hit by muse:: *cough* I mean WE'VE done him pretty well. I'm sorry if Anna-Maria seems a little OOC, but I had to get the kid on the ship. This originally was a sequal to a fic in which I introduced an OC who was going to bring the kid in, but I never posted that fic, so I made it Anna-Maria (as I don't see any other crewmembers picking up kids). She and Jack, btw, are involved, but this is not a romance. Sorry, but it's a comedy. So, right, I DO own A Jack, just not THE JACK. ::is smacked by muse again:: Sorry, yes, sorry, uh ... "No one owns CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, muse form or otherwise." There, happy? I love writing author's notes, they're fun! Anyhow, enjoy and review, and maybe I'll let my muse kiss you as a reward (hehe we know we all want that!).
Chapter One: "It" Arrives
Captain Jack Sparrow was standing at the helm of his ship, the Black Pearl, yelling orders briskly. He was as happy as a clam, despite the fearsome expression on his face. He was watching crew members -- his crew members -- scurry around readying the ship to leave port. He could see the row boat that held Gibbs, his first mate, and Anna-Maria, his girl, rowing quickly towards them. He estimated that they should be ready to make way as soon as they reeled up the row boat. As he watched, the boat drew closer. He became away that Anna-Maria was looking at something sitting on the middle plank of the boat. At first he assumed it was a sack of meal, but as the little boat drew closer, he became aware with a stab of horror that it was a very small person. A little girl, by the looks of the long blonde hair, and about four or five.
The boat reached the side of the Pearl, and a few hands hauled them up. Jack surrendered the helm to Cotton and hurried over. Anna-Maria was helping the child out of the boat.
"Anna-Maria!" he cried. "What is that?"
"It's a little girl, silly," she said with a smile. Jack had never seen her look like that. All luminous and maternal and ... mushy. She certainly never looked like that with him, even when he was being his most dashing, charming self. "Come on, sweetheart, I'll see if I can't rustle you up some food," Anna-Maria said, taking the girl by the hand.
"No! Put it back!" Jack was looking a little hysterical. His eyes were wide and he was gesticulating madly as he always did when he became upset. Anna-Maria had seen him like this twice before. Both times it was because he was suddenly without rum.
"I'm not 'putting it back'. She was starving, and in Tortuga of all places, Jack. Don't you have any compassion?"
"I have loads of compassion!" Jack said, indignantly. But I hate children, he thought, but did not say.
"Good," said Anna-Maria, briskly. "Then taking this child to Port Royale, where we are going next, I might add, will be no problem."
"We're a week away from Port Royale! And we're not going there anyway!" wailed Jack.
"Well, then I suppose she shall have to stay on the ship until we do go to Port Royale. Whenever that may be."
Jack studied the determined expression on Anna-Maria's face, then looked at the child. Suppressing a shudder, he said,
"Okay. Port Royale it is."
"Lovely," said Anna-Maria. "Come on, Ellie." She started leading the child below deck, presumably to the galley. Jack stood stunned for a moment, before shaking his head and turning to the helm, wondering what he had gotten himself into this time.
Jack rolled over in his sleep. Ouch. Something hard. Oh, right. Helm. He'd slept on the deck last night. Ouch, wait. Not the ship. Definitely something right on his stomach. Heavy. Feet? Feet! Oh, God.
Jack opened his eyes, and promptly screamed very loudly.
The little girl was standing on his chest. She was regarding him imperiously, and she had one hand on the helm to steady herself.
"Get it off! Off!" Jack yelled, and started to stand up. The little girl took a flying leap of petticoats, and was soon perched on the top of the helm. Jack stood up just as it rolled sideways, spilling the girl onto the deck and sending the mast flying right at Jack. He tried to duck, but miscalculated and was flung off of the deck. Unlike Will, he did not manage to hang on, but instead was thrown into the water. The ship was now sailing merrily along uninhibited in the total wrong direction, and Jack was floundering in the water. He stared, stunned, as his own ship sailed away without him, then yelled,
"MAN OVERBOARD!"
This was sure to bring the entire crew on deck, and indeed it did. They were all running around, calling both his name, and "Who's overboard? Where? Capt'n, where are yeh?"
"I'M OVER HERE, YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!" Jack yelled.
Gibbs spotted him first, and made quick work of throwing him a rope. On deck, he took a minute to right himself. Anna-Maria was at the helm, compass out, and redirecting the Pearl onto her original course. The little girl was clinging to the sash that she had tied around her waist. Jack stalked over. He rarely stalked anywhere; he more often sashayed. But now … he stalked.
"IT," he enunciated, "leaves. Now."
"First of all, she is not an 'it', Jack."
"Yeah, well, I'm not a 'Jack'. I'm a 'Captain Jack.'"
"Regardless, there's nowhere for her to go to."
"Throw it overboard!" Jack stuck staunchly to "it" to make a point.
"I'm not throwing her overboard!"
"It threw me overboard!"
Anna-Maria rolled her eyes in an exasperated fashion. Without a word, she picked up the … the … thing and walked below decks.
Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed, please review and earn kisses from Jack. ::watches Jack-the-Muse preen:: More to come, hopefully. In other words, pray my muse is in a good mood!
Chapter One: "It" Arrives
Captain Jack Sparrow was standing at the helm of his ship, the Black Pearl, yelling orders briskly. He was as happy as a clam, despite the fearsome expression on his face. He was watching crew members -- his crew members -- scurry around readying the ship to leave port. He could see the row boat that held Gibbs, his first mate, and Anna-Maria, his girl, rowing quickly towards them. He estimated that they should be ready to make way as soon as they reeled up the row boat. As he watched, the boat drew closer. He became away that Anna-Maria was looking at something sitting on the middle plank of the boat. At first he assumed it was a sack of meal, but as the little boat drew closer, he became aware with a stab of horror that it was a very small person. A little girl, by the looks of the long blonde hair, and about four or five.
The boat reached the side of the Pearl, and a few hands hauled them up. Jack surrendered the helm to Cotton and hurried over. Anna-Maria was helping the child out of the boat.
"Anna-Maria!" he cried. "What is that?"
"It's a little girl, silly," she said with a smile. Jack had never seen her look like that. All luminous and maternal and ... mushy. She certainly never looked like that with him, even when he was being his most dashing, charming self. "Come on, sweetheart, I'll see if I can't rustle you up some food," Anna-Maria said, taking the girl by the hand.
"No! Put it back!" Jack was looking a little hysterical. His eyes were wide and he was gesticulating madly as he always did when he became upset. Anna-Maria had seen him like this twice before. Both times it was because he was suddenly without rum.
"I'm not 'putting it back'. She was starving, and in Tortuga of all places, Jack. Don't you have any compassion?"
"I have loads of compassion!" Jack said, indignantly. But I hate children, he thought, but did not say.
"Good," said Anna-Maria, briskly. "Then taking this child to Port Royale, where we are going next, I might add, will be no problem."
"We're a week away from Port Royale! And we're not going there anyway!" wailed Jack.
"Well, then I suppose she shall have to stay on the ship until we do go to Port Royale. Whenever that may be."
Jack studied the determined expression on Anna-Maria's face, then looked at the child. Suppressing a shudder, he said,
"Okay. Port Royale it is."
"Lovely," said Anna-Maria. "Come on, Ellie." She started leading the child below deck, presumably to the galley. Jack stood stunned for a moment, before shaking his head and turning to the helm, wondering what he had gotten himself into this time.
Jack rolled over in his sleep. Ouch. Something hard. Oh, right. Helm. He'd slept on the deck last night. Ouch, wait. Not the ship. Definitely something right on his stomach. Heavy. Feet? Feet! Oh, God.
Jack opened his eyes, and promptly screamed very loudly.
The little girl was standing on his chest. She was regarding him imperiously, and she had one hand on the helm to steady herself.
"Get it off! Off!" Jack yelled, and started to stand up. The little girl took a flying leap of petticoats, and was soon perched on the top of the helm. Jack stood up just as it rolled sideways, spilling the girl onto the deck and sending the mast flying right at Jack. He tried to duck, but miscalculated and was flung off of the deck. Unlike Will, he did not manage to hang on, but instead was thrown into the water. The ship was now sailing merrily along uninhibited in the total wrong direction, and Jack was floundering in the water. He stared, stunned, as his own ship sailed away without him, then yelled,
"MAN OVERBOARD!"
This was sure to bring the entire crew on deck, and indeed it did. They were all running around, calling both his name, and "Who's overboard? Where? Capt'n, where are yeh?"
"I'M OVER HERE, YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!" Jack yelled.
Gibbs spotted him first, and made quick work of throwing him a rope. On deck, he took a minute to right himself. Anna-Maria was at the helm, compass out, and redirecting the Pearl onto her original course. The little girl was clinging to the sash that she had tied around her waist. Jack stalked over. He rarely stalked anywhere; he more often sashayed. But now … he stalked.
"IT," he enunciated, "leaves. Now."
"First of all, she is not an 'it', Jack."
"Yeah, well, I'm not a 'Jack'. I'm a 'Captain Jack.'"
"Regardless, there's nowhere for her to go to."
"Throw it overboard!" Jack stuck staunchly to "it" to make a point.
"I'm not throwing her overboard!"
"It threw me overboard!"
Anna-Maria rolled her eyes in an exasperated fashion. Without a word, she picked up the … the … thing and walked below decks.
Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed, please review and earn kisses from Jack. ::watches Jack-the-Muse preen:: More to come, hopefully. In other words, pray my muse is in a good mood!