The cafeteria was abuzz with chatter. The sound vibrated off the walls, echoing and causing the students to speak louder just to be heard. The sound was almost deafening but Emma was doing her best to drown out the gossip and rumors flying around in abundance.

Manny had said the scandal with her step dad had died down but key words seemed to penetrate Emma's block, stinging her ears and making her sick to her stomach. The salad in front of her wasn't helping either. She'd been pushing it around with her fork for the better part of 10 minutes. She wasn't hungry but skipping lunch would send Manny and her parents into a panic and she really didn't need that. The less attention focused on her the better.

Her eyes drifted around the crowded room at the strangers who'd invaded her school. They had been classmates and friends with the guy who killed JT and she still didn't think it was fair that her friends, her classmates, were being forced to co-exist with them. JT was gone and Lakehurst was just a constant reminder of that.

She continued her survey, landing next on a familiar blonde. His eyes lit up with laughter, his lips curled up into a brilliant smile. His good mood seemed to be contagious because she could feel her own lips begin to curve until she saw the source of his laughter. Darcy Edwards. The sight of the other girl sent fire flaring through her stomach. Darcy was the reason her family was suffering, the reason Snake had been suspended, his reputation ruined. She stabbed viciously at her salad as if it were the other girl's face, watching as Peter intertwined his fingers with Darcy's and squeezed reassuringly.

"Hope that's not my face you're picturing." Manny teased sliding into the empty seat across from her. She followed Emma's gaze across the lunchroom and sighed in frustration. "Crazy lady, this grudge you're holding on to isn't healthy. She made a mistake, a big, horrible mistake but she admitted she lied can't you just let it go?"

Emma arched an indignant, blonde brow, "Seriously? You're defending her? Snake's been suspended, Manny. Even if he's reinstated, his reputation is completely trashed because of her."

"Em..."

"Forget it!" Emma cried, shoving her salad away from her and standing abruptly. "Forget that Snake let you move in when you had nowhere else to go. Forget that he paid for your ticket to New York, for your hotel, for your Chanel sunglasses. Forget that he's the greatest teacher this crap school has. By all means defend your little spirit squad friend while your best friend since preschool's life is falling apart."

She was gone before Manny could respond, the feel of eyes burning holes in her back propelling her faster. She pushed her way out of the cafeteria doors and into the bathroom across the hall, kicking open the first stall and dropping to her knees. She heaved what little she'd managed to eat into the porcelain toilet and continued to dry heave until her throat was raw and aching.

A familiar feeling began in her toes and continued up through her blood stream, soothing the anger in her stomach and the pain in her throat. Control, she'd been lacking it since JT died. Maybe longer. It was scary, the familiar demon rearing its head again, and yet there was an underlying comfort she couldn't quite explain.

Pushing herself up off the floor, Emma made her way over to the sink. She hated the image starring back at her, the image of a girl who was a total mess, whose life was falling apart. She wanted to scratch away the dark circles under her eyes, to erase the pudginess that had settled in her cheeks, to smash the mirror and the ugly girl on the other side of it. She wanted her family back, her friends back, and a boyfriend who would hold her hand and give her reassurance that everything would be okay.

With a deep breath, she splashed some cold water on her face and fixed her rumpled clothes and disheveled hair. She gave one final look at her awful reflection and straightened her shoulders before making her way back out into the hall colliding with a gangly figure.

"Sorry," a familiar voice mumbled, trying unsuccessfully to disentangle his limbs from the girl he had collided with.

Emma's head snapped up, meeting the boy's dazed glare and they both smiled simultaneously. She chuckled nervously stepping away, allowing them both a breath of fresh air then bit at the corner of her lip. "Sorry," she added echoing his sentiment.

"No need to apologize, Em. I wasn't even remotely watching where I was going. You probably just saved me from a really embarrassing bathroom mistake."

"Right place at the right time, I guess I'm not doing everything wrong."

His brows furrowed, his lips forming a thin line of concern. "You okay?" he asked genuinely.

She shrugged, leaning back against the wall wrapping her arms around herself. "I've been better," she replied honestly, her eyes studying the tiles under her shoes.

"It'll get better, you'll see."

"And if it doesn't?" she returned, venturing her gaze from the floor to his face.

"You've always got me," he offered, his smile warm and inviting. "I know we've had some...bumps...but we can still be friends. Can't we?"

Emma nodded, "I could use all the friends I can get right now."

The bell began to ring but neither of them moved, not until Darcy's voice drifted over the rush of chatter coming from the doors of the cafeteria. "Peter!" she called, waving wildly as she tried to push her way through the crowd.

Emma groaned in annoyance then blushed as she checked to see if Peter had heard her. If he had he was ignoring it smiling instead at his girlfriend as she made her way towards them.

"Oh...hi Emma," she faltered once she'd gotten close enough to spot the other girl.

Emma rolled her eyes pushing herself off the wall. She smiled in Peter's direction, warm, thankful and offered apologetically, "I have to go. We'll talk soon?"

He nodded as they both ignored the angry glare Darcy was shifting from one to the other and then Emma made her way down the hall, a smug smile replacing the previously warm one.

-0-0-

"Ugh! She's so stubborn. She wouldn't even listen to me." Manny complained pacing back and forth on the greasy garage floor.

Jay rolled his eyes, glad his expression was hidden behind the hood of the Mazda he was working on. He was losing concentration and finally gave up, closing the hood and turning to face the brunette.

"Dimples, slow down. I have no idea what you're talking about." he chuckled, wiping his dirty hands on an even dirtier rag.

"I'm talking about the fact that my best friend is stubborn and pig headed, and has a wicked nasty habit of holding on to a grudge until everyone around her is crazy."

"Seems like it's already working." he mumbled, cocking his lips up into a playful smirk when she turned her angry pout on him.

"You're not helping!"

He laughed heartily, "What do you want me to do, sweet cheeks? She's your friend."

Manny sighed her eyes softening as she looked up at him. "And Sean's yours. Talk to him, tell him to come home. She wasn't first in line for a straight jacket until he left, again."

"That's up for debate."

"Jay!"

"Okay, okay, I'll call Sean but he's never listened to me before why would he start now?"

A sexy grin slid across her lips as she reached up and kissed him. "Thank you," she whispered against his lips.

"You're going to be the death of me, girl." He snickered pulling her closer by the curve of her hips.

-0-0-

Emma sat on the front steps of Degrassi, her leg lightly brushing against Peter's as they chatted about his Christmas. He was in the middle of a funny story about how his grandmother's golden retriever had stolen the turnkey from the table when a low whistle pulled their attention away and towards the curb.

"Well, well, well isn't this cozy. Sean's gone a couple of months and you bee line for the country club. I guess you really are as shallow as I thought."

"Weren't you expelled like two years ago?" Peter shot back, his blue eyes turning a stormy gray at the other boy's intrusion.

"The sidewalk's city property, pretty boy, unless of course you want to run and get your mommy. I'm sure you can find something to frame me for too."

"What are you doing here, Jay?" Emma questioned, equally annoyed.

Jay leaned back against the side of the tow truck parked behind him. "Picking up Dimples, we have a dinner date with the folks." he explained. "I'd ask what you're doing but that's pretty obvious."

Unconsciously, Emma tucked a strand of loose blonde hair behind her ear. She still loved Sean, she always would, but he was never around when she needed him. It had been Peter who had spotted her eating disorder, who'd sat beside her hospital bed every day after school, who had walked her to counseling twice a week, and told her everything was going to be okay as if he'd been given some sort of inside knowledge.

"Newsflash Jay, what I do and who I choose to do it with is none of your business." she spat defensively.

"Aren't there some babies you should be stealing candy from?" Peter added, with a satisfied smirk.

"Funny." Jay replied clenching his jaw against the urge to deck the blond scum sitting next to Greenpeace. "And I'm making it my business, at least until you cut Sean's puppet strings."

"UGH! You're impossible," Emma cried standing up and throwing her arms in the air. "Sean's gone, Jay. Once again he chose to leave and this time I'm not going to just wait around for him to come back."

The front doors of the school swung open and a group of girls sprang through in a fit of giggles. They paused only momentarily to gawk at the group on the steps then with another fit of laughter made their way past. Manny and Darcy were the last two to exit, their heads drawn together in deep conversation.

"Emma?" Manny asked in surprise as she looked up and spotted her friend.

Emma squared her shoulders and forces as much of a smile as she could muster. "Peter asked me to keep him company." she offered in explanation, her smile becoming less forced at the surprised look on Darcy's face.

"Peter?" Darcy questioned uneasily.

"I wanted to walk you home," he replied, beaming up at his girlfriend. "Emma was just helping me kill time."

"You looked pretty cozy to me." Jay added tersely.

Manny shot him a warning look and he backed down, once again slouching back against the tow truck. The girl was hot when she was pissed but he wasn't in the mood for a Santos lecture and dinner would be less than pleasant if she was in a foul mood.

Darcy's lips curved down into a slight pout as she watched Peter push himself up off the cement slab stumbling slightly and bumping into the blond that he'd dated not too long ago. She made her way down the last few steps and slid her arm into the crook of his elbow to help steady him.

"If you're going to walk me home we should really get going." Darcy warned. "My mom's being a total hag. If I'm not home exactly 20 minutes after practice she starts threatening to send me to a private Christian school in Kingston."

"And that would be bad because?" Emma mumbled under her breath as Darcy began to pull Peter away.

"Bye guys." Peter called over his shoulder.

"We should get going too," Jay said, taking a step forward and venturing onto school property since the snitch was gone.

Manny ignored him turning instead towards her best friend. "Em, are you okay?" she asked, her brows tilted in concern. "You seem a little..."

"Angry, scared, upset? My Dad was falsely accused of sexual harassment Manny. He's been suspended from his job, it's caused a huge rift between him and my mom, I can't have friends over, and the one person I thought I could count on is defending the skank who's responsible. So, am I okay? No, I'm not okay."

For the second time in less than a week Manny watched Emma storm away. She sighed in defeat and moved down the stairs towards Jay. "Did you call Sean?" she questioned as she meet him on the bottom step.

Jay nodded. "Three times actually, I'm waiting for him to call me back."

Manny bit her lip as Jay opened the passenger side door of the tow truck and helped her up into the cab. "What was she doing with Peter?" She asked before he had time to swing the door shut.

Jay paused debating on an answer. He thought about exaggerating the truth but chances were it would only cause problems for him not the nature freak and her boy toy of the week. With a sigh he replied, "Just talking I guess, flirting, nothing x-rated."

-0-0-

Emma made her way through the front door of her house, anxiety setting in the moment she stepped over the threshold. She could hear her parents arguing in the kitchen, something that had become as routine as babysitting Jack or doing the dishes. With a forced smile she made her way into the kitchen.

"Emma!" Snake cried, looking much like a deer caught in the headlights.

Spike nudged him back into setting the table and smiled at Emma. "Hey sweetheart, dinner's almost ready."

"I'm not hungry."

She immediately regretted the words once they'd left her mouth. Both parents turned to her, their faces scrunched up in terror and concern.

"Em, honey, you have to eat." Her mom began.

Emma rolled her eyes. "I'm not hungry because I grabbed dinner with Peter after school." she lied, pulling open the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Peter?" Mr. Simpson responded in surprise.

She nodded. "I've got a ton of homework," she added with a weak smile before disappearing on the other side of the basement door. She knew the second she was out of earshot, she'd become the center of their conversation or the reason for a new argument.

Tossing the bottle of water on to her bed, she moved to stand in front of the full length mirror. The urge to smash the glass had her nails digging into the palm of her hand, leaving little half moons etched into her skin. She cringed as they broke the surface but didn't move. She kept her eyes trained on the stranger standing in front of her wondering why Peter would ever willingly leave Darcy for her.

Darcy was skinny, pretty, a cheerleader. The girl in the mirror was none of those things, not even Sean was willing to stick around and deal with the rolls and lumps that made up her body. With a cry of frustration she turned away from the image. Dropping to her knees she began to rock, tears streaming down her cheeks and forming puddles on the throw rug.

-0-0-

"Hi," Darcy started uneasily as she approached Emma's locker the next morning.

Emma rolled her eyes, pulling her text book for English free and slipping it into her book bag. "Can I help you?" she asked snidely, shutting her locker and turning to face Darcy. Before she could answer Emma continued, "Or have you come to falsely accuse me of sexual harassment as well? I mean, why stop with my dad? Why not take out the whole family?"

Darcy grimaced, stepping back as Emma pushed past her but she wasn't going to give up that easily. She quickly fell into step beside her classmate.

"I'm so sorry about that Em. I've told Mrs. H that I lied and I've apologized to Mr. Simpson. I know it doesn't make it better but I really, really, really am sorry."

"You're right, it doesn't make it any better," Emma snapped stopping dead in her track and twisting to glare at Darcy angrily. "You ruined his reputation. I've been the center of gossip for weeks now because you felt the need to twist everything. He was trying to help you and you destroyed his credability. What kind of person does that? Honestly I don't know what Peter sees in you."

"He's my boyfriend." she declared defensively.

Emma shrugged flippantly. "He deserves better."

Darcy's nostrils flared, her hands curling into fists at her sides. "What like you?" she snorted in disgust. "You dumped him for Sean and now that Sean's gone you suddenly want him back? Keep dreaming Emma. Why would he want to date a crazy, anorexic freak?"

"Beats a hypocritical liar." she tossed back, her eyes narrowing into tiny, angry slits.

"Stay away from Peter!" Darcy demanded, taking a step closer to the blonde.

"Or what?" Emma challenged.

The bell rang, interrupting the quarrel. A student rushing by for fear of landing detention if he were late for class bumped into Darcy, knocking her back against the lockers. With a smug smile Emma bled into the crowd, disappearing down the hall, and leaving the other girl grappling in surprise.

-0-0-

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging out with Emma." Darcy explained as she sat across from Peter after school in The Dot. "She's still really angry at me for the whole thing with Mr. Simpson and I think she's using you to get back at me."

"Darc," Peter chuckled. "Emma and I are just friends. You have nothing to worry about, really." He reached across the table taking her hand in his own and squeezing it reassuringly.

"What were you all talking about yesterday after school?" she asked, searching his eyes for any hint that he wasn't being honest with her.

"It was just small talk about Christmas and stuff. She was waiting for Manny and I was waiting for you, we were just killing time."

Darcy sighed, slumping back against her chair. "I just think she has ulterior motives. I mean with Sean gone what's stopping her from wanting you back?"

"Nothing I guess, but there's a lot stopping me from wanting her back. Like you. Like us."

She smiled, giving him the reaction he was looking for. A smug grin slid across his lips as he lifted her hand up to them and kissed it softly. "She's had a rough time and needed someone to talk to, that's it. I promise."

"Fine," she replied with a small chuckle looking over his shoulder as the door to the restaurant opened with a jingle. Her smile faded as Emma glided into the packed room, her little brother resting on her hip.

Peter followed Darcy's gaze, his eyes lingering on the blonde at the counter as she paid for the take out order she was picking up. He could sense something off about her, the same way he'd sensed it before. His guard had gone up after running into her outside the girl's bathroom the other day during lunch. All the stress couldn't be helping but he couldn't exactly explain all of that to Darcy since she was the source of a lot of it.

Emma's eyes caught his and she smiled offering a little wave. He returned the smile before turning back to his girlfriend. He could sense she still wasn't comfortable with his and Emma's growing friendship but he had a lot to make up for where Emma was concerned and he couldn't just ignore it.

-0-0-

The harder Emma tried to ignore the growing voices in her head the louder they became. She found herself lying again, to her parents, to Manny, to herself. She'd make up excuses to skip dinner, or to disappear into the bathroom after eating it. Once again it became second nature, the habits that hand landed her in the hospital only a little over a year ago.

The anxiety came next and started with a panic attack during a Science test. Her chest tightened and her breathing became haggard and short. It brought back a rush of memories she'd surprised a fear she'd refused to acknowledge. She didn't want to go down the same road again, to end up in the hospital forced to face the scared faces of her friends and family followed by the pitied looks she had received from everyone else.

After being released from the nurses' office Emma made her way into the cafeteria, scanning the crowd for Peter's familiar face. She was relieved to find him sitting alone, Darcy nowhere in sight. Propelling herself forward, she slid into the empty seat across from him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned by the transparent tone of her skin.

She shook her head no, trying unsuccessfully to keep the tears at bay. "I need a favor," She started sucking in a deep breath of air. "But you can't tell anyone, especially Darcy, especially Manny."

Peter's brows dipped even lower at the ominous tone in Emma's voice. "Does it involve murder? Because I just ate and I'm not sure I have the stomach for it." He teased trying to lighten the mood.

Her brown eyes were pleading and he quickly nodded. "My lips are sealed," he added reassuringly.

Emma swallowed sharply rubbing her sweating palms against the rough fabric of her jeans. "I haven't been eating," she added honestly. Her bottom lip went between her teeth nervously before she pushed herself on. "I had a panic attack this morning in class and it's got me scared."

"Em, your parents..."

"Can't know," she stated sharply cutting him off. "They've got enough on their plates right now and they'll blame themselves. I just...I need someone to go with me to counseling after school. I don't want to go by myself."

"I'm supposed to meet Darcy after school." he interjected.

"Please Peter. I can't ask anyone else." she begged.

Against his better judgment, he gave in. "Okay," he replied knowing Darcy wasn't going to be too happy but he couldn't just stand by and watch Emma self destruct again. He couldn't take the chance that she'd end up back in the hospital again.