I'm working on another Squffie at the moment, but I was listening to the radio and this song came on and this idea popped into my head. Enjoy!
Disclaimer- I own nothing. The song is "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne. To fit the story, the last line was changed from 'These things I'll never say.' I'm not telling you what it is now, so meh! P (What, it's the last line of the story! I'm not going to partially give it away!)
Yuffie fingered at a shuriken that she had taken out of the pouch around her waist, it was early morning and she was walking down to a large clearing that she had been using daily as a training ground since the heartless attacks stopped. Well, it wasn't only her that practiced every so often, but lately it was fairly empty. Everyone just assumed that it was safe and that an enemy would never attack again. The stars that shone perpetually made a figure in the distance glow faintly.
She didn't worry that it was danger though; it was probably only Squall. He was the only one that seemed to have made an oath to come and practice with his weapon every day, no matter how he felt and no matter what the weather. As much as she hated to admit it, trying to impress Squall was probably the main reason she came down, keeping her skills sharp was just an afterthought.
The ninja sighed and looked down at the ground stopping a tear from falling. It wasn't only herself she was feeling sorry for; it was him as well. Even though she knew she stood no chance at winning his love, or even real friendship she thought at times, it wasn't even the age difference. It was his love of Rinoa. He had loved Rinoa, more than anything, which was obvious.
What was harder to grasp was the fact that he couldn't deal with how she was gone. Every one expected him to mourn some, but stoic Leon of no emotion carrying on? Why did Rinoa have to go and die? He still loved her; there was no doubt in Yuffie's mind. Cloud and Aerith could tell as well, as it was all to obvious when he would come down in the morning and look drained. Sometimes, redness was visible, but he'd never admit it. He needed to let go, but she could never tell him that. She just wanted him to be happy.
"Oh…" Yuffie realized she had been standing at the entrance to the clearing for some time now, Squall had even stopped what he was doing to stare in question at her for a moment. "Heh…" she nervously laughed, twitching from embarrassment. She blushed scarlet and decided it would be best to just pretend she hadn't just acted weird, standing in one place staring into space for who knows how long.
Yuffie started throwing at the targets, stacks of hay and various other items that were fairly durable or cheap and replaceable, and failed horribly. She could have cried from being so humiliated. And it wasn't as if the Ninja hadn't practiced everyday and had an excuse for being so horrible today. Squall may be emotionless, but he wasn't stupid. He would know something was up, which made Yuffie's aim just get worse and worse. She decided to try a different exercise but it was to no avail.
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
Finally, she decided to just give up the futile attempt for a while. She watched as Squall never ceased to attack the unsuspecting bales of hay, which would need to be discarded after only a few strikes. It was a good thing there was an overabundance of them. No more than ten minutes had passed before Yuffie bit her lip and decided to try talking with Squall. She couldn't think of anything to say, but she had to say something before she changed her mind.
"Squall…?"
"Leon." He spoke bluntly, swinging at another target. He did look at her for a moment, but Yuffie couldn't tell what the expression meant, if anything.
"Yeah... Leon."
He looked at her strangely again. If she was going to say anything she might as well get on with it. There wasn't much to say though. Before she made even more of a fool out of herself than she already had. "Want to…" she searched for words to fit her the fragment of words she had almost spoken. She added quickly, "…have a training match? I haven't battled much of anything since the heartless…"
Yuffie imagined that the corners of his mouth twitched upward. The question was rather comical though. She couldn't even hit a large stationary haystack; much less a moving determined Squall.
She felt a heat wave rush to her face and a sudden rush of crimson color. Squall surprised her by saying, "I suppose so," emotionless of course.
Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it
Yeah
Yuffie laughed, she threw an old blunted shuriken, as they had agreed not to purposely harm each other, today at least, and it shocked Squall by actually hitting him. His expression had been priceless, as he couldn't control his automatic look of shock, and a look of anything on his face was something worth grinning over. He quickly replaced it with a stony glare, but somehow it didn't have the same effect as before.
That had been her first hit of all the matches too. She had fumbled and nearly cut herself, blunted weapon or not, and numerous times Squall 'killed' her, by pointing his gunblade only inches away at her head, heart, neck, etc. thus ending their match.
He hadn't seemed to be moved by any of the victories. Yuffie, on the other hand, was deeply touched by the one hit. She grinned almost stupidly and showed her more hyperactive side, dancing around the field. She didn't ever see it, but she hoped her little performance had earned at least a smile from Squall, as her face put the reddest tomato to shame once she realized whom she was prancing about it front of.
"Can we stop a few minutes Squall?"
"Leon."
Yuffie rolled her eyes, taking that as a yes. She glanced around for a bale of the dried plants that had not yet been mutilated. She found one and raced to it, sitting down quickly. "Sq- Leon, I-"
He raised a brow. "Yes Yuffie?" It was a monotonous response, yet it seemed to urge her to continue.
"Well… I wanted to say that-" She stopped, cutting herself off again.
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
"It's nothing." She finally managed to spit out, mentally scolding herself for being such a coward- Great Ninja Yuffie her foot.
"I'm going back to training." Five words more than the average amount he spoke to her each day. Now that she thought about it he had talked to and spent more time with her than he had with anyone in a while. It was a nice feeling, but it was too bad it meant nothing.
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you?
What's on my mind?
If it ain't coming out
We're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care
'Gah! Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Various thoughts were flying through Yuffie's mind. She knew that she had made a fool of herself numerous times that day. 'How could you have even thought you stood a chance?'
'Maybe he won't think anything of it?' she added hopefully with a small smile.
That irritating voice in the back of her head quickly retorted, 'This is Squall, Yuffie, not some random guy who doesn't even know you. He is going to realize when something is bothering you, and especially when it concerns him. You have been partners in battling for who knows how long.'
She sighed. That sheepish emotion then stepped forward stating what she already had figured out, 'You'd better go fix it now...'
But anyone could tell her that. She just needed to get out of this hole without digging it deeper. 'Gah! Stupid, stupid, idiot, Yuffie!' Of course it might have been better had she not shouted out the last phrase.
"Talking to yourself now Yuffie?" he called from across the practice arena. If it had been anyone but Squall, she would have been positive that the voice had traces of suppressed laughter. But… there was no way that Squall would laugh, except perhaps in the face of a just-vanquished foe.
"I… I, uh… Umm… Yeah? …Was I…?" Add another one to the list of the lamest excuses. Point toward Yuffie for having the worst possible day. She turned crimson and just looked down at a very interesting blade of grass, missing a faint twitch at the corners of his mouth.
What's wrong with my tongue?
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I've got nothing to say
Squall soon looked as if he was packing up for the day. It was probably around noon, which was strange. He usually was up and out at their training grounds before her, and she didn't hear the muffled steps of his feet trudging into the hotel until well past midnight. Yuffie had always assumed he used the time to think, as no one could fight, practice or not, for over 12 hours straight.
She had never really pushed the subject before though. Once she had asked him what he could possibly do all day, 'Train.' He had said with the tone of voice that warned you not to go any further. Of course, in general, his voice had that effect when you inquired about anything to do with his life. Now that the Ninja thought a moment, she was a bit curious as to what went on in his head. Of course she had no place prying, as if she did, he'd no doubt ask her a few questions she knew she wouldn't want to answer.
The young woman glanced up into the heavens. Faint pinpricks of light danced away, flickering and glowing. Her eyes shone with girlish delight as a shooting star fell across the night sky. She closed her eyes tightly and made a wish, as she had done every time she saw a comet race in the night since she was small. She sighed a little though realizing how foolish her dream was. Only she could fix it, not some object thousands of miles away.
Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say
Yuffie unconsciously twirled a short lock of her hair, twisting it around her finger. "You know," a voice behind her spoke, "I never thought you of one the cared much about their hair."
Yuffie jumped and spun around. She didn't see anyone, but she could have sworn she had heard someone behind her. She glanced from side to side; maybe it was someone up a bit further whose voice had been carried down to the clearing. It wasn't probable, but, she supposed, it wasn't impossible either. She turned back around to continue her momentary stargazing. Moments later her hand was twisting and pulling at her short black hair, and she didn't even realize it. It was a subconscious motion. "There you go again. Is that how we're all suppose to know you're deep it thought?"
Yuffie spun around, determined to catch whoever was talking. There was no one, only Squall. Wait… Hadn't he left already?
"S-Squall…?" Yuffie nervously began.
"Well, it took you long enough." He sat down next to her on the intact brick of hay. Yuffie felt heat rush to her face, and her breathing came in shorter, quicker spurts.
"What's up Yuffie, something bugging you?" His voice carried with it traces of amusement and laughter. He knew and he found it funny. How could she have thought she stood a chance?
"N-No…nothing's wrong…" He swiftly raised an eyebrow at her quick stuttered response, pressing her for answers.
"I said I'm fine Squall." Spoke with a hint of defiance. If he wasn't going to take her feelings seriously… but then again she didn't want him to leave. It was so rare for him to willingly make any contact with her whatsoever, much less whole conversations.
He, however, seemed to take it as a command to leave. Well, not command, he'd never actually listen, more as a statement that she didn't want him around. He stood up and looked down at her, "It's Leon, Yuffie." He spoke once again monotonous. Amazing how swiftly his mood could switch. "How many times need I tell you?"
She looked up, still slightly rosy. The ninja seemed to have recovered from the fear of embarrassing herself that had consumed her all day. "How ever many times it takes. Obviously."
He let out a small, rare, smile. "Fine then," he touched her cheek gently, "have it your way." He left then, gunblade in hand. Yuffie was left sitting on a haystack in a state of joy, shock, bliss, and confusion. Was there even a possibility that Squall had just shown even a remote piece of affection? Heck, it even seemed like he cared.
Maybe… She did stand a chance.
These things that maybe, I'll never need to say.
A/N Wow! It took me a long time to write just this one chapter. Mostly because I had a really good idea… but then I kinda went brain-dead… Writer's block if you will. I'm sorry the endings a bit rushed, but I wanted to get it posted and finished before I completely lost my train of thought. (Hey… where'd it go…?)
This was meant to be a one-shot but I think I'll turn it into a story… That is if my faithful (or… not so much) reviewers decide that would be a good idea! I need to know how Rinoa dies in FF VIII though… It's very muchly relevant to the plot. Please, someone tell me? innocent eyes
Comments and constructive criticism appreciated!