AN:- First of all a big thanks to crystal for beta reading this. Girl you are amazing and I love you. Secondly thanks to all who read and reviewed my new story Fern, smiles & hope and if u haven't please give it a chance

So about this story..the only thought after watching "Spoils Of War" was why don't they take the rest of y soul. I'm stil trying to process everything and I had to write a story about it because I had no other option. Hope u guys like it..

Disclaimer:- I tried to make Eric Christian Olsen mine, but failed so lets just talk about owning NCIS : LA

THEY UNDERSTOOD

She was small when her father taught her what war meant and what it means to sacrifice for your country. Her dad use to say that spoils of war is a bigger threat individually compared to nationally, but she never really understood that until today.

She was trained to bear physical torture but no one said anything about mental torture. Whatever she did in last few months or to spoke in last few days was completely justified for her until today. Until she saw him ,a certain blue eyed, shaggy-haired person looked at her. It was then that it hit her what she had actually done. She was ready to die to save Jack and find out the truth, to get the closure she had wanted for the past nine years. But all of this was about her war, and her closure. Somewhere in between she forgot him. Not completely because it was impossible, after all he was the one that got her through the torture. His smile, his eyes, his voice, his smell, his silly but endearing nicknames. His everything. He was her safe haven and in this war, she ruined everything for Deeks, the one person who was patiently waiting for her, not the one for whom she had waited years for.

She was going through a turmoil and to be honest she was losing her hopes with each passing seconds and then all of sudden she heard the word exchange. That lone word brought her hopes back. She thought maybe Granger and Sabatino were able to find her and would save her but she didn't think that the person saving her life once again was none other than her partner…her Deeks

She looked up just once at him and it was enough to make her feel guilty. To question her decision because at the end of the day, she was the one who asked him to be patient and again she was the one to risk her own life without knowing what effect it would have onhim. She had promise herself that she would help him to get better to recover and there he was, not only fighting his own demons but fighting for her as well. She knew that Deeks would understand whatever she did and would never question instead he would blame himself for everything and that thought was enough to scare the life out of her. The physical pain she was going through was nothing in comparison to heart ache she was feeling at that moment. That was the reason why she couldn't look at him; aware of his constantly looking at her. Now she understood why Deeks wouldn't look at her in the hospital, how she was able to get him through the torture. Today she understood everything.

She knew that Deeks had seen her and Jack together but she also knew that he understood that this was what she needed for closure. After several moments she looked at him and stared in his blue eyes and knew that he was going through a lot of pain and that she was the one responsible for it and thus when Deeks first hugged her, she hugged him back. She tried to find some safety in his arms but before she could they pulled away. She understood this too because she could she the fear in his eyes, the fear of losing her, his mind going through the what ifs.

But she too was fragile and was trying to process everything and thus when Deeks asked her, she didn't lie, she said what was the truth. Although she knew the truth saying it out loud made everything real, everything more painful and she couldn't control it and she started sobbing. That was when Deeks took her in his arms and said, "It's okay, and I've got are going home." She realized that he was able to see right through her and knew what she needed. That thought was enough to break her even more and with that she didn't stop herself, she just broke into his arms with hope that hewould understand.

But the most important thing she understood was that although the war was hers, the spoils of war were Deeks'. Her war had ruined things for Deeks and most probably for them as well and they understood it.

He was told once that there would come a point in his life when a single person will be more important than any damn operation. He never understoodthat until today. Today for him the operation was to locate and rescue agent Blye but for him what was more important was to save his partner, his Fern, his everything…his Kensi.

He had learned from his torture that torture just messes things up and he would never do that to any one. After all he had morals but damn those morals if they cost his partner her was the only thing he cared about at that moment and made sure to make it very clear. So he did what he had to do and to be honest he would do the same thing hundred times over for Kensi in the blink of an eye. Yes he would because he didn't believed in that picture. He knew that it was a fake because he had faith in Kensi that she would come back to him, and his Kensi was a woman of her words and she would never die before him. But all he wished for was that the man would understand his situation and would help him and more than that, Kensi would understand his actions.

He had told himself to prepare for the worst but when he saw Kensi he just lost control of his emotions. All he wanted was to run towards her and take her in his arms but he knew he couldn't do that so he just wished that she would look at him just for a moment. But she didn't and to be honest he understood, he understood about the turmoil she was going understood better than anyone else.

The moment he heard the name Jack Simon, he knew what had happened with kensi and what she wanted and that was the reason he understood what was happening when he saw Kensi hugging Jack. He knew how desperately she wanted closure and how important it was for Kensi's sanity and for them as well. So he went near her controlling himself as much as it was possible for him but in the end he gave in and hugged her. He hoped she would understand that this was what he needed at that moment, to believe that she was okay, and even more so, that she was alive and she was with him.

But this wasn't enough and letting his emotion take over, he asked her what he wanted to know, somewhat knowing what her reply would be and somewhere hoping that for once she wouldn't lie to him. And she did, for once she said what she meant and knowing her he knew how difficult it was for her to speak the truth and so he did what he thought was right and took her in his arms wishing she wouldn't pull back this time. And he said what she wanted to hear trying to reassure her. He just hoped that she understood that for once he meant what he said.

He also knew that for Kensi this was just her war, but for him, it was their war. And at that time holding her as tightly as possible, he realized that their spoils of war caused them to lose a part of themselves that they would never be able to get knew that both of them understood this better than anyone else.

So guys you know the drill..leave a review on your way out..

should I continue?

Hope u guys like it

Much love

Nikita