Heathen Go Home

by RemediumDraconem

This is an old piece from my Deviantart. It was when I was in the Hellsing fandom and my writing was still in development. Oddly enough, it got a lot of attention compared to most of my work. Then again, I'm an "old news" fanfic writer. Most of my works wind up ignored since they no longer appeal to general audience within the fandom, but I hope you like this piece.

Heathen, go home!

Ah, yes! Today is the day!

Today is the glorious Saint Valentine's day!

A day of smiles and hearts as lovers say,

How much they care and be jolly and gay!

I jump out of bed and throw on my Cossack for there is so much to do!

There are Valentines for the orphans I must give and have me favorite stew!

Without warning, I throw open my bedroom window to take in the sweet air

Of the Valentine morn.

The sun, the blessed orb of golden light through the sky to adorn,

The world with warmth and delight.

Love is here! Love is here!

Who knew Valnetine's Day is so dear?

I take in a deep breath of the crisp air with a grin,

But I should of known that sin is near.

I see beauty all around from the skies of blue and

The gardens of lush hue. ,

Yes, Valentine's is a beau- Oh my dear lord…He is here!

"Anderson! Oh, darling Anderson!" I hear that same voice that gives me chills.

Yep, there he is, the forsaken man of darkness and insanity.

There, below my own window is Alucard with his smirk fit for the devious.

I always loathe his nature from the mischievous.

"Anderson, my lovely paladin! Come on down! Come down"

Alucard begs with his red eyes gleaming and a frown.

Oh, do I dare make a soun'?

Even though I already been foun'?

"My love! Oh, sweet love!

Do not be shy like the dove!

Today is of romance and you must

Come and join me for a sweet song and dance!"

Alucard cries with his arms stretched up high.

"Jump here! Jump now into my embrace! Oh, sweet kitten!

I huger for your beauty and grace."

I don't understand…Not one bit…

How could that monster be here so far while it is so bright?

Not when it is the accursed night?

I know he is not at all here to fight

And certainly here for more than a bite.

I do not know why, of all people, Alucard would want me.

I am not special and I am a man! A man who fights,

Fights for the Holy and the right.

I can't stand it, no I can't!

All Alucard would do is sit and stare and I

Know very well he will do so much more, imagining it

Would be such a scare!

I grab my weapons of blessed steel,

Just to so him he is so much of a heel!

"Alucard, I don' know how you got here!

It is so far away from London to Rome, but

I will warn you , so listen and listen good!

I want you to go back home!"

I cry out with bayonets and the Sacred Tome.

"Alucard, you heathen, go home!"

The vampire does not budge, no turn to run.

He just stands there, looking so smug in the sun.

I swear, that man can never take a hint.

"Aww, Anderson, it's Valentine's Day, there is no need to

Play hard to get! Come here and let me love you!

I have so much to give to you and you are being just too cruel."

Alucard smiles to reveal those fangs as he have so many times before.

"Heathen, go home!" I shout and return inside

And then I cry out.

I call for help from someone, anyone to

Drag him away, but much to my despair, no one is there.

Maxwell disappeared again to be with Hellsing for that date.

(which to me, hardly makes sense)

And Heinkel and Yumiko…

Ah, such sweet lasses, are gone to battle in

Against the heretics who are so dense.

This means my fears are true, Alucard is here

To force me as his mate.

To the balcony again, I silently sneak

And peer over the rail for a peek.

Sure enough Alucard is still there, oh

That monstrous, little freak.

He knows I'm there and gives me a grin and a wave.

"There you are! Are you done changing? Come now,

I'm tired of waiting." Alucard beckons with a soft purr.

I know that now, I may not be save'.

But I must not give in,

I will not fall for those scarlet eyes

That would lead to my demise.

I hold my knives close and scream so loud

To the heavens.

"Heathen, heathen, go home!

I will say no more!

Go home and leave me be!

Can you not see?

I am not yours and you are not for me.

You are monster and I am man!

You got me once, twice, thousands times more,

My rear is still so, so sore!

I will not take no more!

Go home!

Median, heathen, go home!"

I turn on my heel and I do not look at Alucard,

But he is still there and still so cocky and coy.

"I brought you gifts! I have roses, fine champagne, and joy!"

"Heathen go home…."

" We can lie together by the cooling shores."

"Heathen go home."

"We can make sweet love or do it so rough and brash."

"Heathen, go home!"

"I see now. You don't want to leave…I will then come to you!"

"HEATHEN, GO HOME!"

"Then so be it…"

Now, there is silence..I sigh heavily and remove my glasses.

While rubbing my tired eyes of green,

I feel awful for all of Rome that I made a scene.

Perhaps now, I am free, free to spend this day

Of Valentine's with the children and reflect on

What this day truly means.

Then, I freeze and my heart jumps!

Strong arms wrap around my waist,

A strong bulge pressing to me with great haste.

Then, a long tongue licks over the scar on my cheek

For a small and greedy taste.

"Mmmm, Happy Valentine's Day, my beloved enemy…"

Alucard says with a chuckle

And he reaches to my belt to unbuckle.

"Burning, buttered biscuits! Heathen go home!"

"I love you too, Alexander Anderson."