Deserving

~*~

"You're five weeks pregnant."

That's what the doctor told her when he finished examining her that day. Savyna was wondering why her body was cramping up so much for the past few weeks.

Ever since Diadem became her new home, Savyna found herself working actively. Moving to Nashira was exhausting and difficult for her, but she foresaw the scenario when Gibari proposed to her after the victory banquet. In her opinion, Diadem was the most moist, cold, drafty places of all the continents in the world. Though, the traveling that she did from when she was a mercenary helped her somewhat in her current situation with the weather. The pregnancy was a bit too soon. She and Gibari were newlyweds of four months, and she did not expect to have children at this stage in time.

Savyna's face looked calm and collective as always, but her mind was filled with insecurity. Glancing at the table, she breathed in and closed her eyes, reclining into the comfort of the chair.

Life before meeting Gibari and the others was strict and intensive. The Mad Wolf Unit was the most ruthless force in Alfard's military, the whole world even. The campaigns that were assigned were extremely bloody and violent that by the end of the day, her knuckles would be covered in blood from the victims she pulverized. One mission, however, made her resign from her career as a Mad Wolf Unit servicewoman. That mission was Operation Sweep.

The soldier had to fulfill her duty. Otherwise if the battalion failed their assignment, the blame would be placed on everyone in the division. Not to mention the wrath of Emperor Geldoblame when he was disappointed, which no one dared to cross paths with. Thousands were slaughtered in Azha that day. Men, women, even young children. Savyna obeyed her orders by participating in the killing of the Azhani people. She had no choice but to carry out the mission, even though it tore her from thinking if it was the right thing to do. It was a large scaled bloody holocaust.

One hard, powerful punch was aimed and directed towards a target, and that target was a child. When Savyna's fist made contact with the child, she could feel the softness of the body. It was warm. It was fragile. It was light. Pure innocence. And she killed all of these things within the child with a single blow. Just one punch and the child was dead. Without pondering on the consequences, she just went forward and killed the child. This bothered Savyna for a bit, which affected her focus in battle, but Azdar came and pulled her out of her mental trans.

Now that Savyna was expecting a child of her own, the news left her astound. She came to a realization. What if she was not a good mother? She killed children before, how can she raise one and take care of it? Most of all, would her own child be ashamed of her for being the murderess of an entire village?

Placing her upper limbs on the table, she rested her head on her forearms, taking in deep breathes. Soon, she felt wet tears dropping out of her eyes, aware that she was crying. She did not cry in a very long time, ever since she was a little girl. When Savyna felt these kinds of emotions, she was glad that Gibari was not home to see her like this.

Does Lady Death deserve to nurture life?

Author's Note

Dedicated to crackedKatana. Happy early birthday girl. :) And I dedicate this to Fan Fan Girl, Ruingaraf, and Brenda924 for being my friends for the past two years! ^^ Thank you so much! ^^ (Katana, you count too!) Thanks to them, I have become a better writer. :) Words cannot express my gratitude.

And I give special thanks to Ruin for the information on Savyna and the Mad Wolf Unit. :) It was really helpful, and I don't know where I would be without you! ^^ *hug*

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this! I finally got off my lazy butt and started WORKING. haha! I had this idea in my head for a long time... I'm so glad that it's out in the public. ^^

R&R. Peace!