I'm always held at the very place I had wished to escape. I wish to fly beyond the forbidden gateways, into the forbidden skies and to soar beyond anyone who had tried to hold me back. There's no freedom here, no chance here, where you have to make sacrifices for everyone else besides yourself.

All anyone knows here is how to be selfless, but I am selfish. Abnegation, the selfless as says the manifesto. I'm not true to this; I don't belong here. I can't be selfless, I can't make sacrifices against myself and for others, the strive to protect myself always prevails over the rules I'm supposed to hold so dear to my life.

Faction before Blood. In my world, everyone is sorted into factions. These factions are life as we know it. Without them, we are nothing.

The factions were formed in the aftermath of a huge war. Those who blamed the human nature's faults on selfishness, became Abnegation. Those who blamed ignorance became Erudite, the Intelligent. Those who blamed war and fighting became Amity, the Peaceful. Those who blamed duplicity and deception became Candor, the Honest. Those who blamed cowardice, the cruelest faction of the five, became Dauntless, the Brave.

Soon all the sixteen year olds will be taken to the Choosing Ceremony, where we must cut open our hands with a knife and allow our blood to spill over a symbol of each faction. It's all I know for now, I had preferred not to watch as parents of faction transfers cried or yelled over their children's decisions. Faction choices are permanent and you cannot alter your decision. But to truly become a member of the faction chosen, you must complete initiation.

I'm sixteen, and I'll be transferring. All I have left are some friends which I think are bound to remain Abnegation, it seems as if their loyalty and selflessness have decided for them. They'll all be together, but me, I don't know where I belong.

I could belong anywhere I guess, but it's my choice. I have no doubts Amity is the safest way to go, their neutrality and being a vital faction protects them. Abnegation, the Erudite are attacking us with reports for for even the slightest of mistakes. They accuse us of not running the government but instead giving food to the factionless.

The factionless are the group of people who have failed initiation or removed from their factions or decided to leave themselves. Many prefer death over being factionless, but I'd rather live my life until it's my turn to leave.

"Diana, would you like a cherry? We got them fresh from Amity," offers my selfless friend Adeline.

She's a white hedgehog with boring square shaped bangs and her short quills are up in a bun. She wears a short gray dress up to her knees and a gray sweater on top. The sweater's buttons are buttoned up to perfection with the cheap transparent material.

Unlike regular hedgehog quills, her quills curve outward and away from her head. Of course we selfless folk thought she looked much better in a bun and hiding the unusual natural curves of her quills. She didn't mind, of course. She had to not mind. We aren't allowed to be selfish.

She has beautiful amethyst purple eyes that gleam and long curving eyelashes. She's extremely pale and skinny. Many of the Erudite reported on her, too. Saying she was well underfed and abnormally underweight was something she found it hard to deal with. But of course, with selfless nature upon you, you must act as if it is nothing.

"No, thank you," I say, gently pushing the bowl of cherries in Adeline's hands away.

The bowl is a light grey with rounded tips and smooth as glass. It doesn't look flawed at all. Sometimes I wonder who make these. But it's hard to think any other faction other than Abnegation would make grey bowls.

"But Diana," objects Elias. "We can't eat until everyone is served, remember? Abnegation tradition."

Elias is a particularly bright orange hedgehog. His quills are messy, but yet they are shaved short against his head. He looks strange that way. I've also noticed his face would appear far more handsome if his quills were allowed to grow out, but no. He is always scolded of his bright orange color and must cover any areas possible.

Abnegation colors are only grey, because it makes it easier to forget ourselves. Anyway, the color grey is far overlooked and easy to forget.

Both Elias' parents were from Amity and wanted to try something new. Elias' mother died in child birth, yet his father was yet so friendly and kind. Elias was always energetic with positive energy, like an Amity would. Sometimes I want to ask him where he wants to go, but I'm not curious. I prefer to be emotionless and carry on with life, asking questions when only necessary.

He is tan with amazing scarlet eyes that attempt to capture me, yet I can constantly and easily look away. He is an Amity, but I don't think he would leave since he is so loyal. He wears a grey turtleneck and grey jeans and sweater with no buttons.

I am Diana Ixia. Everyone renamed me Diana Clear, which is easy to forget. I wear a sweater buttoned tight up to my neck and underneath a bottom ruffled dull grey shirt. I wear dull grey leggings and dull grey boots. I'm a brown hedgehog, with long quills and short quills near the side of my face with curving inward bangs. I am somewhat pale but darker than Adeline with lowered eyelids. My eyes are an extremely dark brown, almost black. When I rarely stare into the mirror of my bathroom to do my quills, I have asked myself countlessly how long I've had those menacing eyes.

But I can't recall anyone who had them. My mother was blonde with my skin but light hazel walnut eyes. She didn't have lowered eyelids which made her look kind, sweet, and selfless. I am menacing, and I don't hide that. I'm proud to be myself, yet I'm ashamed of my eyes. Hard to be selfless with dark menacing eyes, sometimes I feel people want to run away from me.

"Fine," I say emotionlessly yet somewhat rushed and take a cherry by it's stem and plop it onto my plate.

I stare at it as it tilts to the side, and I realize that Elias and Adeline are also watching and observing me. I feel awkward under their gazes, like they are surrounding me in an oven and heating me up inside to unbearable heat.

"Go ahead, I'll eat when you're all done," I say quietly to snap them back to the present.

"That's all you're going to eat?" Elias asks me in a confused tone.

I nod.

He just stares at me and then at his plate and begins to eat slowly, as does Adeline. We eat in silence. Afterward we all clean up and wash the dishes by hand. After they left I am to myself.

I walked out onto the balcony as a breeze threatens to whip me backwards. I still walk out and brace the pounding winds against my small helpless body.

I am strong.

I stand over to the railing of my house and see that every house has one. I'm the only one out on the balcony at this time at night.

I am unusual.

I place my hands delicately along the railing keeping me from falling to my doom. The railing is grey, the only color that is dominant in this faction.

I am intelligent.

I can think as far as I want to, I can understand everything I hear even though I may disagree with it. I can think of many ways to outwit others that would help me if I chose Erudite in just three days.

I am not honest.

I can't be honest no matter what. I'm good at hiding the truth, however. It is dangerous; it is deadly.

I am not kind.

I don't strive to be kind anyway. Nor do I want to. I prefer my strong and seemingly fearless approach to everything. It is why I am unique.

I am selfish.

I can't be selfless even if I tried, I am honest to that point. But I'm probably no honest in another way.

I am brave.

I'm not afraid of death. Death comes when it comes as it desires, not to anyone's control. I believe in Justice, and Justice is more important than peace. Justice is having someone punished for murder; Peace is letting someone go to keep tranquility with that single person.

I narrow my eyes and stare along the grey street. No one is outside, so they can't see me here. I breathe in the air as if comes slowly. I feel free in the air, as if I could fly and be the brave, determined, somewhat gentle and not completely honest person I am.

It's my choice. Amity the Peaceful, Abnegation the Selfless, Erudite the Intelligent, Candor the Honest, or Dauntless the Brave.

One choice can seal my fate, forever if I live beyond the initiation. I want to be loyal like I am, but this choice I can be one thing, selfless of selfish. But I am selfish. I don't know where to go, but I don't intend to find comfort anywhere. I'll deal with this myself, and myself only. I won't go for help. I'll stay strong. I'll stay brave.

Maybe the simulation test could help me decide, or maybe not. I could get any result or two results though it's highly unlikely. What will the simulation be though? What do my results depend on?

It could be anything from one test from each faction to five test from each faction. I've never been in a simulation, and it's not real. I don't believe in it.

It has to come from me, the hedgehog who seals her fate with life or death, peace or violence, truth or lie, ignorance or intelligence, selflessness or selfishness, even bravery against cowardice.

It's my fate.

It's my choice.