"Hand me the peeps, will you Roderich?"
Roderich looked up from where he was reading and stared at him, "the what?"
"Peeps. Those marshmallow birds on the table." Matthew was kind of starting to realize just how different their two cultures were. The aristocrat handed him the peeps and frowned.
"I'm guessing that you got those from your brother?"
"Is there a problem with that?"
"No. No…" The aristocrat chuckled a bit and returned to his reading again as Matthew remained working on setting up the Easter decorations. Prissy aristocrat… Wait. CRAP!
He really needed to stop hanging out with Prussia.
"MATTIE~! SPECS~!"
Speaking of the Prussian, Gilbert bounded into the room and jumped the musician from behind; causing Roderich to fall over.
"BEILSCHMIDT!"
"…Edelstein." He grinned evilly and remained on top of Roderich as if he were merely a seat.
"Get OFF!"
"Fuck you hard? RODDY! Don't be cheating on Matthew! It's a holiday!"
Roderich glared at him in outrage. His calm temperance quickly depleting. He squirmed for freedom against his albino oppressor while trying to keep his dignity.
Clearly this wasn't going to end well.
"Gilbert. I made pancakes."
"UMPH!" Roderich made a loud grunt noise as the Prussian practically flew off of him and ran over.
"Canada! I knew you would be nicer than that aristocrat! Where's your pancakes?" Matthew started to point when Gilbert caught sight of the peeps. "What are these?"
"Food."
…
…
Matthew looked up at the man in concern.
"What?"
"What are you talking about?" Roderich finally stood up and walked over to nod, "oh those. They're apparently some kind of festive holiday food here in North America. Completely uncouth if you ask me."
"You mean they eat these things that look like Gilbird?"
Matthew felt himself getting into trouble in an instant. "We don't all eat them, but they're really popular over at my brother's house and my people really enjoy them and-"
The two Europeans watched him dig himself a hole stoically.
"I can't believe you would want to eat Gilbird!"
"I don't want to eat your bird," Matthew exclaimed.
Kumajiro walked out of the other room and grabbed the peeps, stuffing one into his mouth. "Birds taste good."
"Hallo, Kumajiro," Roderich greeted.
The bear waved at him before walking back out.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EAT GILBIRD!"
"WE DON'T…RODERICH HELP ME OUT HERE!"
Roderich turned away, but not before the Canadian caught a look of amusement on his face. "I'm going to stay out of this."
"RODERICH!"
"Don't get mad at Specs! He isn't eating them!"
Matthew held up another container of them to the duo. "Just TRY one. They are not made in any way, shape, or form of any type of bird."
Gilbert turned and headed into the kitchen. "NEIN! I refuse to be a part of your satanic eating rituals."
"I'm never making you pancakes again then."
"You're making me wonder what are in your pancakes." Gilbert disappeared into the other room and Roderich grabbed a peep, eating it thoughtfully.
"…These aren't that bad at all."
Stubborn, aggravating Europeans.
After many, many apologies and promise of another (yes, another) lifetime supply of pancakes; Matthew got Gilbert to relax and come to the living room to enjoy sweets with him and Roderich.
"So, I was wondering," Gilbert randomly asked, "what does Alfred think of you both dating?"
"Alfred?"
"We never mentioned it to him," Roderich replied from over by the piano.
Gilbert paused. "Say what?"
Matthew thought about it before laughing a bit, "I completely forgot to tell him about it."
"Won't your brother find it a little odd that you are spending so much time over with Roderich and me; not to mention the two of us always coming over to your house."
"Uh…"
Roderich took a hiatus from his piano playing and grabbed his teacup from the coffee table. "I'm sure he will assume the obvious."
Matthew froze. The obvious…
Gilbert and Roderich continued speaking about something else and Matthew stood up, going over to the window to look out over towards the United States. Surely he wouldn't…
"DEMOCRAZY!" A loud chainsaw sound came from outside and the two Europeans looked over at the door in confusion.
Oh crap.
"ALFRED!" Matthew ran to his front door to find it being sawed down by his brother.
"Don't worry, Canadia! AMERICA WILL SAVE YOU!"
"ALFRED! I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!"
Alfred rolled his eyes and lifted his saw a bit higher. "It's okay. As one of my states, I have a duty to protect you."
"I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR STATES!"
The nation ignored him and ran to his living room, picking up a piece of paper from the table. "Damn… I was too late."
"What is that?"
"It looks like I'm going to be heading over to Russia!" He laughed as he turned and went running for the front door again.
Dear Alfred,
Despite our pleas to Canada, he is unwilling to help us fight Russia. Russia is planning an undercover operation to take over the world. You were right. Please help us by coming to Moscow and lying in wait for our next letter.
With pleasant regards,
East Germany and Austria
"Pretty genius, huh?" Gilbert shoved himself out from under the sofa and pulled Roderich along with him.
"You tricked him?"
"Saved our necks is more appropriate." Roderich supplied.
Gilbert pulled them both together and grinned, "you can both thank me with some awesome threesome time."
A/N: I don't even know what this is. Cracky? Yes. Awesome? Most likely. Do you want more? I don't know! I'm not the person reading this!