NOTE: I do not own Merry Brandybuck (though it would be cool if I did) or
Lord of the Rings. They are both copyright to J.R.R Tolkien, bless his
heart.
The Diary of Meriadoc (Merry) Brandybuck
The Fellowship of the Ring
Entry one:
I knew it! I knew Gandalf would come! Why wouldn't he? It's Bilbo's birthday! Can you believe he's turning one hundred eleven years old? Poor Frodo...who'd want something that old living in the hole? ....did I actually just write that down? Drat! Maybe there's something here I can erase it with...let's see. Ah, there's some... oh great. I've spilled wine on this page. And it's not even on top of what I wanted to get rid of! ...Oh well. Anyways, there's to be a big party tonight! The whole Shire's invited, too! ...Wait. That means it's more likely for Pippin and I to get in trouble. We'll have to be extra careful, whatever we turn out doing.
I wonder if there's any beer left in the pantry?
Entry two:
Well, a few of us got together and threw a small party for Frodo---he and Bilbo have the same birthday, you know--down at the Green Dragon Inn. Pip and I started making plans for tonight's party. It turns out that Gandalf has brought along some of his fireworks for the party. The old wizard's well-known around here for 'em. The only problem is, he never lets any of us hobbits use them. So Pippin and I are gonna sneak into that wagon of his and pick us out a firework or two to shoot off. It shouldn't be too hard; Gandalf will be too busy making sure he doesn't step on any of the children. He did once, and the poor child's parents still refuse to talk to him. Then again, they don't even talk to me.
Maybe it has something to do with that time I snuck into their yard as a lad and scared the chickens across the entire Shire. Who knows?
Entry three:
That Gandalf is a sharp one! He didn't catch us, but, oddly enough, he knew it was us. Here's what happened: we managed to sneak around back where his wagon was. Pippin climbed into the wagon while I was lookout. Looking out for who, you ask? Certainly not Gandalf. Like I said before, he's trying to make sure he doesn't step on the children. If you watch really closely, you'll see he's looking at the ground while he dances. To make this short, so I don't take up the whole page, I was looking out for food. That's right, food. It's a birthday party, isn't it? There's gotta be pastries or something...
Anyways, Pippin was rushing a bit, so he grabbed one of the small ones. This was probably going to be our only chance to shoot off a firework, so I told him to find something bigger. Would you believe it? We were in luck! There was an enormous dragon firework in there! We dragged it into a nearby tent and lit it. Now, I never said we knew how to shoot off a firework...
It shot off, all right. And the tent with it. It sure got a lot of attention, too. Almost blew our heads off. But you should've seen it! Red sparks across the sky!
And Gandalf standing right behind us. We got what was coming to us. He made us wash dishes! Dishes...as if I don't do enough work at home...
Entry four:
Oy...my hands are all clammy from that soap. What? Oh yes, that's right. I'm s'posed to be writing something interesting.
Well, this morning, Pippin and I were out on our monthly raid on Farmer Maggot's crop. Since this is a good season for crops, they were all ready for harvesting! So we snagged a few good vegetables and made off with them. We were making good time, especially because we wanted to be home by second breakfast.
Not to mention Ol' Farmer Maggot usually lets his dogs out around that time...nasty little yappers, they are.
So we were making a break for it, when, what do you know? We run smack into Frodo Baggins! And...
Sam Gamgee?! Now what were the both of them doing out there?
At this point, Maggot had let some his dogs out, and there was no way Pippin and I could make it all the way back home with all those vegetables. We had to lighten the load, so we could run a bit faster...
"There's a reason for everything", my father used to say. I never appreciated that thought until now.
We shoved some of the vegetables into Sam's arms and ran off, hoping he'd get the idea. Took him a good few seconds, it did. He started running after us--without the vegetables. Gamgees...go figure.
We heard the barking grow louder. What, he let ALL of the dogs out now? He was clearly overreacting. It's not like we stole the entire crop...
We had stopped at the edge of a hill to catch our breath, when Sam ran smack into us from behind.
I must say, the roll down the hill was fun until I landed on top of a carrot I was carrying. As it turns out, it broke. Guess we were gonna have to have vegetable stew without the carrots...
Mushrooms! Goody!
Entry five:
Sorry about that. I can't resist mushrooms. Meanwhile, Frodo started yelling at us to get off the road. So, for one reason or another we listened to him, and jumped off the road and hid under a tree root. Next thing I remember, I hear this weird sniffing noise, like a Bolger with a bad cold. We stayed as quiet as we could. I'm not sure why. I think I saw Frodo get out a golden ring of some sort and start to put it on, but Sam stopped him. I swear, the hobbits at Bag End get stranger by the day.
Anyways, this cursed noise, whatever it was, simply would not go away, so Pippin sacrificed one of the vegetables and threw it off to the side a ways off. A split second later, I heard hoofbeats fading into the distance. Who does Frodo think he is, some kind of prophet???
We kept running, and it got dark. What?! We missed second breakfast, and lunch, AND tea time???
I think we missed dinner too. Maybe supper. ...I'm hungry...
Where was I...ah, yes. We ran into this dark-rider thing. Creepy. So, naturally, we ran a little faster. The thing seemed to be after Frodo, in particular. We hid behind some bushes. I asked Frodo why we were being chased by the rider. He said nothing, just that he and Sam had to get to Bree.
Whatever, Frodo. Don't bother telling me about that golden ring. Whatever happened to the days when we were little, when we didn't keep secrets from each other?
Now I think I know why Sam was with Frodo when we ran into him. And I just might know what that ring is for, too, if you know what I mean.
So, I decided that Pippin and I would just have to keep an eye on them. So I agreed to help them get to Bree, and so we started off for Bucklebury Ferry. But no, that cursed dark rider just wouldn't leave us alone. We had to run for our dear lives, leping over fences and such. Pippin, Sam and I made it to the ferry all right, but Frodo was still behind. The ferry was just leaving as he jumped aboard. Well, I better steer the ferry now, so we don't crash into something...
Entry six:
Bree is the dreariest place I have ever been. At least the inns have decent drinks!
We arrived at The Prancing Pony, pretty much the only inn in Bree with a restroom. Thank goodness! I mean, the ale they dish out at this inn goes right through you. Poor Pippin learned that the hard way...
There was this shady character keeping his eye on Frodo the whole time. Suspicious? You bet.
At one point Frodo started freaking out, ran up to Pippin, tripped, then disappeared.
Like I said before, folks from Bag End are VERY strange.
Next thing I know, he's being dragged upstairs by that shady character I told you about earlier.
Sam, Pippin, and I followed him. Turns out his name was Strider, and he seemed very cautious about something. He must have eaten that disgusting fish dinner they served at the inn. Awful stuff.
That night, he took us to the building next door to spend the night. We had to sleep on the floor. My back still hurts! During the night, we saw a whole bunch of those dark riders go into the inn, and stab our beds with really long swords. Weird. Strider called them Ringwraiths.
Not the swords, the dark riders.
Okay, moving along...
Entry seven:
So we've decided to trust this Strider fellow. I'm not so sure this was a good idea. I mean, what if he was lying about knowing Gandalf? What if he's just some loony who'll lead us straight to death?
I have good reason to believe that latter option; when he told us about the Ringwraiths, he looked drunk as...well, a drunk.
And another thing: when we stopped for second breakfast, he made us keep going. Poor Pippin nearly threw a fit. After some protesting, Strider threw apples at us. The violence! He said we had to go until nightfall before we stopped to rest!
This is going to be a looong journey, wherever it is we're going.
Entry eight:
Strider dragged us to a gloomy place called Weathertop, and gave us swords. Goody! Although Pippin couldn't quite handle his and almost hit me with it...I think I'll stay away from him the next time he gets it out.
It got cold during the night, and we were hungry from not having our usual six meals per day, so Sam, Pippin, and I lit a fire and cooked some food. Frodo woke up and started yelling at us to put out the fire. What, now he's pyrophobic?
Well, the ringwraiths definitely weren't. They showed up right after Frodo stamped the fire out. Sword time! We all stood back to back as they approached us. Funny, they seemed a lot less frightening the last time we saw them...
Where the heck was Strider when you needed him?!
So, we figured, how would four hobbits our size stand a chance against seven of them?
Or was it eight? Nine? What, you expect me to count them when I could possible be killed any moment?
We all jumped aside, except for Frodo. He was scared stiff! I'm not positive what happened next, but at some point we heard Frodo yelling. Sam ran over to him(go figure), and Strider finally showed up. Boy, did he show those wraiths! But I still think he's not right in the head. Why would he wait until after one of us got hurt to show up?
That's right, Frodo was hurt. Stabbed near his left shoulder. Strider said it was a wound he couldn't heal, one that needed Elvish medicine. Those ringwraiths really meant business, didn't they? But why were they chasing us? Did it have something to do with the ring?
Entry nine:
We've been walking for some time now, and Frodo hasn't said much. He's riding on the pony we got back in Bree. Sam calls him Bill. A funny name for a pony, but it'll do. As long as it isn't Hoofy, or Mr.Pony(knowing Sam, it came awfully close to being that one), or anything else like that. Pippin suggested Heineken. An odd one, he is...
Entry ten:
At some point during the night, Frodo couldn't take it any longer. He kept making funny noises, kind of like someone choking. We asked Strider what was happening to him, and he told us he was going to turn into one of those wraiths if we didn't do something soon. And the nearest place we could get him healed, Rivendell, was miles away.
Great.
So he and Sam went off to find some kind of herb that would help a bit, while Pippin and I stayed with Frodo. When they came back, an elf was with them. She loaded Frodo onto her white horse, then spoke to Strider in Elvish. Pippin, Sam, and I just stood there. We hadn't the foggiest idea what was going on. All we knew was that we were hungry, tired, and that rap music made us sick.
The elf got onto her horse and rode off with Frodo.
What in the name of the Shire is going on here?!
Entry eleven:
One way or another, we made it to Rivendell. Frodo has been asleep for what seems like weeks. Sam simply won't leave his side. He must be forgetting about that ring...
Unless I'm mistaken, of course.
Wonderful news! Frodo's just woken up! Just who does he think he is, sleeping for so long? Oh, well. We're glad he's alive. Especially Sam. I wonder when the wedding is...
Turns out Bilbo's here, the old coot. And Gandalf, too.
I am so confused.
Tomorrow there's supposed to be some kind of big important meeting. Pippin and I aren't invited, but we'd be delighted to listen in.
Entry twelve:
So the ring belongs to the Dark Lord? No wedding? That's a relief, I guess. The very idea of it scared the hair off my feet. Apparently, we have to take the thing to Mordor and toss it into the Cracks of Doom, wherever that is. Turns out Strider is actually Aragorn, the heir of Gondor. He'll be coming with us, as well as Gandalf, a dwarf named Gimli, an elf named Legolas, and some tall guy by the name of Boromir. Yes, Pippin and I are going, as well as Sam, who wouldn't let Frodo out of his sight if a nine foot wall was between them.
We'll be leaving soon. I hope we have lots of food packed.
Entry thirteen:
This is boring! We've been doing nothing but walking all day, and my feet hurt! Not to mention that I'm hungry...Aragorn still won't let us eat our six meals per day! What does he think we are, men?
Boromir says he's going to teach Pippin and I how to swordfight! It sounds like fun to me, although he does keep looking at Frodo funny. He scares me sometimes...
Entry fourteen:
We stopped for a while on a cliff to rest. True to his word, Boromir did teach us to use our swords. He almost hit one of us once, but we got back at him. That ought to teach him never to mess with a Took and a Brandybuck with swords!
Then this weird looking flock of birds that closely resembled a cloud of locusts appeared in the sky. Gandalf told us to hide, for they were spies of the enemy.
This journey just gets stranger by the day.
Entry fifteen:
Boromir got a hold of the ring today when Frodo slipped down an icy slope. He just stood there for what seemed like hours, mumbling to himself and staring at it.
And I thought Aragorn was insane. It must be a "Men of Gondor" thing.
Of course he gave it back to Frodo when Aragorn told him off, but he still acted funny for the rest of the day.
Entry sixteen:
It's freezing up here! Why did we have to come this way? Darn that Gandalf and Aragorn, they're the ones who decided we should. We're up on Mount Caradhras, complete with snow, wind, and lack of room service. Legolas is showing off his ability to walk on snow. I wish I had something to throw at him...
Thank goodness for that elvish draught Gandalf brought along. It's almost as good as the pint I had in Bree! And--
...sorry about that. We just got buried in snow by an avalanche. Apparently, some evil wizard guy by the name of Saruman is trying to keep us from reaching Mordor. What a letdown.
We've just decided to turn around and go through the Mines of Moria. I've never been there, but anything would be better than this frozen wasteland.
...right?
Entry seventeen:
We've reached the Gate of Moria, and have been waiting an hour for Gandalf to figure out the password. That's right, a password. The door says "speak friend, and enter", so Gandalf concluded that if you're a friend, all you have to do is speak the password and you can get in. Any idiot knows that the password IS "friend". I'm not saying anything, because it's rather entertaining to see wise old Gandalf actually struggling with something for once.
Now if only I had something to eat.
I'm bored. I think I'll go join Pippin in throwing rocks in the water...
Darn that Aragorn, always ruining our fun. He made us quit the rock- throwing. Oh, well. Frodo finally got tired of waiting and said the password. He knew it all along, too. He just gets bored more easily.
Entry eighteen:
It's so dark in here, I can hardly read what I'm writing. Ah, yes. Where was I?
Just as we stepped inside Moria, we realized that there were skeletons all over the place. I think I wet my pants at that point...ahem, anyways, this huge tentacle thing grabbed Frodo by the leg and dragged him outside. Sam, ever the hero, ran out and hacked away at the thing, while Frodo was getting a migraine from being swung around in the air so much. Eventually Aragorn got him down, and we ran back inside the mines.
Note to self: keep sword at side while sleeping.
Now we're waiting again, this time for Gandalf to remember which way we're supposed to go. So we're bored once again, and Pippin complaining about his empty stomach isn't helping one bit. Maybe we're lost?
Looks like Ol' Gandalf's finally remembered which way to go, so I'm putting this diary away for now.
Entry nineteen:
Turns out some friend of Gimli's is dead, and has been for some time now. Dramatic, isn't it? Pippin got a bit restless, and knocked a skeleton down a well, automatically alarming any resident orcs that we were there. Tooks...go figure.
We got into this big fight and won, despite the fact that the orcs had brought this enormous cave troll with them, that, surprisingly enough, resembled Fatty Bolger in every way possible. So any way, this cave troll? Drove a spear into Frodo.
Frodo certainly gets a lot of attention, now doesn't he?
Well, it turned out he was okay, due to a mithril vest his uncle Bilbo had given him. Who knew? So we kept running in the direction of the exit, when we were surrounded by hundreds of orcs. We thought it was all over, when this red light appeared. The orcs scattered. But Gandalf seemed very tense. He said this was beyond anything we will ever face, or something like that. So, naturally, we ran again. At some point, we came to some broken stairs, and each of us had to be thrown across the gap. That would have been fun, if we weren't being chased by an evil being.
We reached a bridge, where Gandalf stopped to face the thing. He made a confusing speech, then the bridge broke, and the Balrog--yes, that's what it was called--fell down into the darkness. But just as Gandalf turned around to join us, the Balrog's fiery whip grabbed him and pulled him down. Frodo had to be carried outside, he was so upset.
Come to think of it, I'm rather depressed too, although I never really got to know the old wizard.
Entry twenty:
We were chased by orcs all the way to this golden forest. Gimli says there's a witch living around here. Will this madness ever end?
Well, we've just been approached by some elves, and they don't look too happy. I don't blame them. I doubt if Gimli ever would have shut up, had they not come.They say the Lady is expecting us. I'll take that as a good thing, considering she must have means of food and bedrest.
Entry twenty-one:
This place is amazing! Trees everywhere! We were greeted by Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel, who were too serious for their own good. The Lady gave us a creepy inspiration-speech about hope not being lost. Now, we are in our sleeping quarters. It feels good to be sleeping in something that actually comes close to being a bed. G'night.
Entry twenty-two:
We're departing from Lothlorien today, supposedly to head South on the Great River. Sam isn't looking forward to it much; he hates boats and anything that has to do with 'em. Maybe I'll push him overboard when no one's looking. Wait...I'm not in the same boat as him. Hmm. Ah, yes. I'll grab an oar. That should be long enough to reach him.
Whatever you're thinking, I'm not a cruel person. I just believe that people should face their fears at some point in their lives. Not to mention only a complete sissy would be afraid of water. Even if they didn't grow up on the banks of the Brandywine, like I did.
Well, we're leaving now. Farewell, Golden Wood. May I see you again, even if it is only in my dreams.
Entry twenty-three:
It's been at least three days since we set out from Lorien. We have a decent food supply, but not easy access to it. Pippin almost tipped our boat when he tried to get some food from one of the other boats. We don't dare eat the lembas; we're saving them for later.
What is a lemba, you ask? A delicious elven cake that restores your energy even before you swallow it We were given many of them as a parting gift from the elves of Lothlorien, but we decided to save them for when we truly needed them.
All this talk about lembas is making me even more hungry than I already am. I don't suppose diary pages are edible?
Entry twenty-four:
We passed these enormous statues of ancient kings of Gondor. Boromir told Pippin and I that it gave him great pride to see them again. Somehow it gave us hope, too.
Now we have pulled ashore for a rest, and Boromir has set off to find some firewood. Legolas seems awfully anxious. I wonder why. Aragorn tells us not to worry, for we'll be leaving in the morning.
That's odd. Frodo seems to have wondered off. Poor fellow, he must have a lot on his mind. Then again, I'm sure we all do...
Entry twenty-five:
We're under attack! It turns out Legolas was right to be worried.
These creatures are a little like orcs, but much more frightening. Pippin and I immediately hid behind some bushes, being the masters of disappearance.
Oh wait, that's Frodo, considering the ring. Never mind. Speaking of Frodo, he came running up and hid behind a tree right near us. We clearly had a better hiding space, so we pleaded for him to join us. He did something completely unexpected then. He shook his head and just sat there.
Then we knew. He was going to go off to Mordor all by himself. I'm not sure why, but that was clearly what he intended. But Pippin and I couldn't just stay where we were and let those creatures get to Frodo. We got up and started yelling, immediately calling attention to us.
What do you know, it worked! All of a sudden, we were being chased. Looking back, I saw that Frodo had gotten the idea and taken the oppurtunity to flee. Bless him, wherever he is now.
Entry twenty-six:
Those orc-things had almost caught up with us, when Boromir arrived. And not a moment too soon! First he tried fighting them off, then he blew the Horn of Gondor for help.
Yet no help came. He had no choice but to keep fighting, defending Pippin and I, as well as his own life. I don't think I shall ever grow to be that brave in my whole life. Boromir took three arrows in him before he finally went down. This was only too much for us. Pippin and I charged, our swords drawn. It was no use. We were snatched up before we could even cry out. That is the last I remember...
That's it. This Dark Lord guy is SO going down.
The Diary of Meriadoc (Merry) Brandybuck
The Fellowship of the Ring
Entry one:
I knew it! I knew Gandalf would come! Why wouldn't he? It's Bilbo's birthday! Can you believe he's turning one hundred eleven years old? Poor Frodo...who'd want something that old living in the hole? ....did I actually just write that down? Drat! Maybe there's something here I can erase it with...let's see. Ah, there's some... oh great. I've spilled wine on this page. And it's not even on top of what I wanted to get rid of! ...Oh well. Anyways, there's to be a big party tonight! The whole Shire's invited, too! ...Wait. That means it's more likely for Pippin and I to get in trouble. We'll have to be extra careful, whatever we turn out doing.
I wonder if there's any beer left in the pantry?
Entry two:
Well, a few of us got together and threw a small party for Frodo---he and Bilbo have the same birthday, you know--down at the Green Dragon Inn. Pip and I started making plans for tonight's party. It turns out that Gandalf has brought along some of his fireworks for the party. The old wizard's well-known around here for 'em. The only problem is, he never lets any of us hobbits use them. So Pippin and I are gonna sneak into that wagon of his and pick us out a firework or two to shoot off. It shouldn't be too hard; Gandalf will be too busy making sure he doesn't step on any of the children. He did once, and the poor child's parents still refuse to talk to him. Then again, they don't even talk to me.
Maybe it has something to do with that time I snuck into their yard as a lad and scared the chickens across the entire Shire. Who knows?
Entry three:
That Gandalf is a sharp one! He didn't catch us, but, oddly enough, he knew it was us. Here's what happened: we managed to sneak around back where his wagon was. Pippin climbed into the wagon while I was lookout. Looking out for who, you ask? Certainly not Gandalf. Like I said before, he's trying to make sure he doesn't step on the children. If you watch really closely, you'll see he's looking at the ground while he dances. To make this short, so I don't take up the whole page, I was looking out for food. That's right, food. It's a birthday party, isn't it? There's gotta be pastries or something...
Anyways, Pippin was rushing a bit, so he grabbed one of the small ones. This was probably going to be our only chance to shoot off a firework, so I told him to find something bigger. Would you believe it? We were in luck! There was an enormous dragon firework in there! We dragged it into a nearby tent and lit it. Now, I never said we knew how to shoot off a firework...
It shot off, all right. And the tent with it. It sure got a lot of attention, too. Almost blew our heads off. But you should've seen it! Red sparks across the sky!
And Gandalf standing right behind us. We got what was coming to us. He made us wash dishes! Dishes...as if I don't do enough work at home...
Entry four:
Oy...my hands are all clammy from that soap. What? Oh yes, that's right. I'm s'posed to be writing something interesting.
Well, this morning, Pippin and I were out on our monthly raid on Farmer Maggot's crop. Since this is a good season for crops, they were all ready for harvesting! So we snagged a few good vegetables and made off with them. We were making good time, especially because we wanted to be home by second breakfast.
Not to mention Ol' Farmer Maggot usually lets his dogs out around that time...nasty little yappers, they are.
So we were making a break for it, when, what do you know? We run smack into Frodo Baggins! And...
Sam Gamgee?! Now what were the both of them doing out there?
At this point, Maggot had let some his dogs out, and there was no way Pippin and I could make it all the way back home with all those vegetables. We had to lighten the load, so we could run a bit faster...
"There's a reason for everything", my father used to say. I never appreciated that thought until now.
We shoved some of the vegetables into Sam's arms and ran off, hoping he'd get the idea. Took him a good few seconds, it did. He started running after us--without the vegetables. Gamgees...go figure.
We heard the barking grow louder. What, he let ALL of the dogs out now? He was clearly overreacting. It's not like we stole the entire crop...
We had stopped at the edge of a hill to catch our breath, when Sam ran smack into us from behind.
I must say, the roll down the hill was fun until I landed on top of a carrot I was carrying. As it turns out, it broke. Guess we were gonna have to have vegetable stew without the carrots...
Mushrooms! Goody!
Entry five:
Sorry about that. I can't resist mushrooms. Meanwhile, Frodo started yelling at us to get off the road. So, for one reason or another we listened to him, and jumped off the road and hid under a tree root. Next thing I remember, I hear this weird sniffing noise, like a Bolger with a bad cold. We stayed as quiet as we could. I'm not sure why. I think I saw Frodo get out a golden ring of some sort and start to put it on, but Sam stopped him. I swear, the hobbits at Bag End get stranger by the day.
Anyways, this cursed noise, whatever it was, simply would not go away, so Pippin sacrificed one of the vegetables and threw it off to the side a ways off. A split second later, I heard hoofbeats fading into the distance. Who does Frodo think he is, some kind of prophet???
We kept running, and it got dark. What?! We missed second breakfast, and lunch, AND tea time???
I think we missed dinner too. Maybe supper. ...I'm hungry...
Where was I...ah, yes. We ran into this dark-rider thing. Creepy. So, naturally, we ran a little faster. The thing seemed to be after Frodo, in particular. We hid behind some bushes. I asked Frodo why we were being chased by the rider. He said nothing, just that he and Sam had to get to Bree.
Whatever, Frodo. Don't bother telling me about that golden ring. Whatever happened to the days when we were little, when we didn't keep secrets from each other?
Now I think I know why Sam was with Frodo when we ran into him. And I just might know what that ring is for, too, if you know what I mean.
So, I decided that Pippin and I would just have to keep an eye on them. So I agreed to help them get to Bree, and so we started off for Bucklebury Ferry. But no, that cursed dark rider just wouldn't leave us alone. We had to run for our dear lives, leping over fences and such. Pippin, Sam and I made it to the ferry all right, but Frodo was still behind. The ferry was just leaving as he jumped aboard. Well, I better steer the ferry now, so we don't crash into something...
Entry six:
Bree is the dreariest place I have ever been. At least the inns have decent drinks!
We arrived at The Prancing Pony, pretty much the only inn in Bree with a restroom. Thank goodness! I mean, the ale they dish out at this inn goes right through you. Poor Pippin learned that the hard way...
There was this shady character keeping his eye on Frodo the whole time. Suspicious? You bet.
At one point Frodo started freaking out, ran up to Pippin, tripped, then disappeared.
Like I said before, folks from Bag End are VERY strange.
Next thing I know, he's being dragged upstairs by that shady character I told you about earlier.
Sam, Pippin, and I followed him. Turns out his name was Strider, and he seemed very cautious about something. He must have eaten that disgusting fish dinner they served at the inn. Awful stuff.
That night, he took us to the building next door to spend the night. We had to sleep on the floor. My back still hurts! During the night, we saw a whole bunch of those dark riders go into the inn, and stab our beds with really long swords. Weird. Strider called them Ringwraiths.
Not the swords, the dark riders.
Okay, moving along...
Entry seven:
So we've decided to trust this Strider fellow. I'm not so sure this was a good idea. I mean, what if he was lying about knowing Gandalf? What if he's just some loony who'll lead us straight to death?
I have good reason to believe that latter option; when he told us about the Ringwraiths, he looked drunk as...well, a drunk.
And another thing: when we stopped for second breakfast, he made us keep going. Poor Pippin nearly threw a fit. After some protesting, Strider threw apples at us. The violence! He said we had to go until nightfall before we stopped to rest!
This is going to be a looong journey, wherever it is we're going.
Entry eight:
Strider dragged us to a gloomy place called Weathertop, and gave us swords. Goody! Although Pippin couldn't quite handle his and almost hit me with it...I think I'll stay away from him the next time he gets it out.
It got cold during the night, and we were hungry from not having our usual six meals per day, so Sam, Pippin, and I lit a fire and cooked some food. Frodo woke up and started yelling at us to put out the fire. What, now he's pyrophobic?
Well, the ringwraiths definitely weren't. They showed up right after Frodo stamped the fire out. Sword time! We all stood back to back as they approached us. Funny, they seemed a lot less frightening the last time we saw them...
Where the heck was Strider when you needed him?!
So, we figured, how would four hobbits our size stand a chance against seven of them?
Or was it eight? Nine? What, you expect me to count them when I could possible be killed any moment?
We all jumped aside, except for Frodo. He was scared stiff! I'm not positive what happened next, but at some point we heard Frodo yelling. Sam ran over to him(go figure), and Strider finally showed up. Boy, did he show those wraiths! But I still think he's not right in the head. Why would he wait until after one of us got hurt to show up?
That's right, Frodo was hurt. Stabbed near his left shoulder. Strider said it was a wound he couldn't heal, one that needed Elvish medicine. Those ringwraiths really meant business, didn't they? But why were they chasing us? Did it have something to do with the ring?
Entry nine:
We've been walking for some time now, and Frodo hasn't said much. He's riding on the pony we got back in Bree. Sam calls him Bill. A funny name for a pony, but it'll do. As long as it isn't Hoofy, or Mr.Pony(knowing Sam, it came awfully close to being that one), or anything else like that. Pippin suggested Heineken. An odd one, he is...
Entry ten:
At some point during the night, Frodo couldn't take it any longer. He kept making funny noises, kind of like someone choking. We asked Strider what was happening to him, and he told us he was going to turn into one of those wraiths if we didn't do something soon. And the nearest place we could get him healed, Rivendell, was miles away.
Great.
So he and Sam went off to find some kind of herb that would help a bit, while Pippin and I stayed with Frodo. When they came back, an elf was with them. She loaded Frodo onto her white horse, then spoke to Strider in Elvish. Pippin, Sam, and I just stood there. We hadn't the foggiest idea what was going on. All we knew was that we were hungry, tired, and that rap music made us sick.
The elf got onto her horse and rode off with Frodo.
What in the name of the Shire is going on here?!
Entry eleven:
One way or another, we made it to Rivendell. Frodo has been asleep for what seems like weeks. Sam simply won't leave his side. He must be forgetting about that ring...
Unless I'm mistaken, of course.
Wonderful news! Frodo's just woken up! Just who does he think he is, sleeping for so long? Oh, well. We're glad he's alive. Especially Sam. I wonder when the wedding is...
Turns out Bilbo's here, the old coot. And Gandalf, too.
I am so confused.
Tomorrow there's supposed to be some kind of big important meeting. Pippin and I aren't invited, but we'd be delighted to listen in.
Entry twelve:
So the ring belongs to the Dark Lord? No wedding? That's a relief, I guess. The very idea of it scared the hair off my feet. Apparently, we have to take the thing to Mordor and toss it into the Cracks of Doom, wherever that is. Turns out Strider is actually Aragorn, the heir of Gondor. He'll be coming with us, as well as Gandalf, a dwarf named Gimli, an elf named Legolas, and some tall guy by the name of Boromir. Yes, Pippin and I are going, as well as Sam, who wouldn't let Frodo out of his sight if a nine foot wall was between them.
We'll be leaving soon. I hope we have lots of food packed.
Entry thirteen:
This is boring! We've been doing nothing but walking all day, and my feet hurt! Not to mention that I'm hungry...Aragorn still won't let us eat our six meals per day! What does he think we are, men?
Boromir says he's going to teach Pippin and I how to swordfight! It sounds like fun to me, although he does keep looking at Frodo funny. He scares me sometimes...
Entry fourteen:
We stopped for a while on a cliff to rest. True to his word, Boromir did teach us to use our swords. He almost hit one of us once, but we got back at him. That ought to teach him never to mess with a Took and a Brandybuck with swords!
Then this weird looking flock of birds that closely resembled a cloud of locusts appeared in the sky. Gandalf told us to hide, for they were spies of the enemy.
This journey just gets stranger by the day.
Entry fifteen:
Boromir got a hold of the ring today when Frodo slipped down an icy slope. He just stood there for what seemed like hours, mumbling to himself and staring at it.
And I thought Aragorn was insane. It must be a "Men of Gondor" thing.
Of course he gave it back to Frodo when Aragorn told him off, but he still acted funny for the rest of the day.
Entry sixteen:
It's freezing up here! Why did we have to come this way? Darn that Gandalf and Aragorn, they're the ones who decided we should. We're up on Mount Caradhras, complete with snow, wind, and lack of room service. Legolas is showing off his ability to walk on snow. I wish I had something to throw at him...
Thank goodness for that elvish draught Gandalf brought along. It's almost as good as the pint I had in Bree! And--
...sorry about that. We just got buried in snow by an avalanche. Apparently, some evil wizard guy by the name of Saruman is trying to keep us from reaching Mordor. What a letdown.
We've just decided to turn around and go through the Mines of Moria. I've never been there, but anything would be better than this frozen wasteland.
...right?
Entry seventeen:
We've reached the Gate of Moria, and have been waiting an hour for Gandalf to figure out the password. That's right, a password. The door says "speak friend, and enter", so Gandalf concluded that if you're a friend, all you have to do is speak the password and you can get in. Any idiot knows that the password IS "friend". I'm not saying anything, because it's rather entertaining to see wise old Gandalf actually struggling with something for once.
Now if only I had something to eat.
I'm bored. I think I'll go join Pippin in throwing rocks in the water...
Darn that Aragorn, always ruining our fun. He made us quit the rock- throwing. Oh, well. Frodo finally got tired of waiting and said the password. He knew it all along, too. He just gets bored more easily.
Entry eighteen:
It's so dark in here, I can hardly read what I'm writing. Ah, yes. Where was I?
Just as we stepped inside Moria, we realized that there were skeletons all over the place. I think I wet my pants at that point...ahem, anyways, this huge tentacle thing grabbed Frodo by the leg and dragged him outside. Sam, ever the hero, ran out and hacked away at the thing, while Frodo was getting a migraine from being swung around in the air so much. Eventually Aragorn got him down, and we ran back inside the mines.
Note to self: keep sword at side while sleeping.
Now we're waiting again, this time for Gandalf to remember which way we're supposed to go. So we're bored once again, and Pippin complaining about his empty stomach isn't helping one bit. Maybe we're lost?
Looks like Ol' Gandalf's finally remembered which way to go, so I'm putting this diary away for now.
Entry nineteen:
Turns out some friend of Gimli's is dead, and has been for some time now. Dramatic, isn't it? Pippin got a bit restless, and knocked a skeleton down a well, automatically alarming any resident orcs that we were there. Tooks...go figure.
We got into this big fight and won, despite the fact that the orcs had brought this enormous cave troll with them, that, surprisingly enough, resembled Fatty Bolger in every way possible. So any way, this cave troll? Drove a spear into Frodo.
Frodo certainly gets a lot of attention, now doesn't he?
Well, it turned out he was okay, due to a mithril vest his uncle Bilbo had given him. Who knew? So we kept running in the direction of the exit, when we were surrounded by hundreds of orcs. We thought it was all over, when this red light appeared. The orcs scattered. But Gandalf seemed very tense. He said this was beyond anything we will ever face, or something like that. So, naturally, we ran again. At some point, we came to some broken stairs, and each of us had to be thrown across the gap. That would have been fun, if we weren't being chased by an evil being.
We reached a bridge, where Gandalf stopped to face the thing. He made a confusing speech, then the bridge broke, and the Balrog--yes, that's what it was called--fell down into the darkness. But just as Gandalf turned around to join us, the Balrog's fiery whip grabbed him and pulled him down. Frodo had to be carried outside, he was so upset.
Come to think of it, I'm rather depressed too, although I never really got to know the old wizard.
Entry twenty:
We were chased by orcs all the way to this golden forest. Gimli says there's a witch living around here. Will this madness ever end?
Well, we've just been approached by some elves, and they don't look too happy. I don't blame them. I doubt if Gimli ever would have shut up, had they not come.They say the Lady is expecting us. I'll take that as a good thing, considering she must have means of food and bedrest.
Entry twenty-one:
This place is amazing! Trees everywhere! We were greeted by Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel, who were too serious for their own good. The Lady gave us a creepy inspiration-speech about hope not being lost. Now, we are in our sleeping quarters. It feels good to be sleeping in something that actually comes close to being a bed. G'night.
Entry twenty-two:
We're departing from Lothlorien today, supposedly to head South on the Great River. Sam isn't looking forward to it much; he hates boats and anything that has to do with 'em. Maybe I'll push him overboard when no one's looking. Wait...I'm not in the same boat as him. Hmm. Ah, yes. I'll grab an oar. That should be long enough to reach him.
Whatever you're thinking, I'm not a cruel person. I just believe that people should face their fears at some point in their lives. Not to mention only a complete sissy would be afraid of water. Even if they didn't grow up on the banks of the Brandywine, like I did.
Well, we're leaving now. Farewell, Golden Wood. May I see you again, even if it is only in my dreams.
Entry twenty-three:
It's been at least three days since we set out from Lorien. We have a decent food supply, but not easy access to it. Pippin almost tipped our boat when he tried to get some food from one of the other boats. We don't dare eat the lembas; we're saving them for later.
What is a lemba, you ask? A delicious elven cake that restores your energy even before you swallow it We were given many of them as a parting gift from the elves of Lothlorien, but we decided to save them for when we truly needed them.
All this talk about lembas is making me even more hungry than I already am. I don't suppose diary pages are edible?
Entry twenty-four:
We passed these enormous statues of ancient kings of Gondor. Boromir told Pippin and I that it gave him great pride to see them again. Somehow it gave us hope, too.
Now we have pulled ashore for a rest, and Boromir has set off to find some firewood. Legolas seems awfully anxious. I wonder why. Aragorn tells us not to worry, for we'll be leaving in the morning.
That's odd. Frodo seems to have wondered off. Poor fellow, he must have a lot on his mind. Then again, I'm sure we all do...
Entry twenty-five:
We're under attack! It turns out Legolas was right to be worried.
These creatures are a little like orcs, but much more frightening. Pippin and I immediately hid behind some bushes, being the masters of disappearance.
Oh wait, that's Frodo, considering the ring. Never mind. Speaking of Frodo, he came running up and hid behind a tree right near us. We clearly had a better hiding space, so we pleaded for him to join us. He did something completely unexpected then. He shook his head and just sat there.
Then we knew. He was going to go off to Mordor all by himself. I'm not sure why, but that was clearly what he intended. But Pippin and I couldn't just stay where we were and let those creatures get to Frodo. We got up and started yelling, immediately calling attention to us.
What do you know, it worked! All of a sudden, we were being chased. Looking back, I saw that Frodo had gotten the idea and taken the oppurtunity to flee. Bless him, wherever he is now.
Entry twenty-six:
Those orc-things had almost caught up with us, when Boromir arrived. And not a moment too soon! First he tried fighting them off, then he blew the Horn of Gondor for help.
Yet no help came. He had no choice but to keep fighting, defending Pippin and I, as well as his own life. I don't think I shall ever grow to be that brave in my whole life. Boromir took three arrows in him before he finally went down. This was only too much for us. Pippin and I charged, our swords drawn. It was no use. We were snatched up before we could even cry out. That is the last I remember...
That's it. This Dark Lord guy is SO going down.