A/N: This got into my head earlier this week and wouldn't leave me alone. I can't write Finn at all, and when I do, it's usually not sympathatic *g* So, who knows if this is coherent?
Disclaimer: Not mine.
I Know Things Now
It's the day before he's supposed to leave, so he goes over to say goodbye.
He drives the familiar route to her house in Kurt's car - the one that already has the "My brother is in the U.S. Army" bumper sticker plastered on the back of it. His truck finally gave out a couple of weeks ago - after he drove with Puck to Chicago for one last 'bros weekend' before Puck lit out to Miami with Santana and Brittany a few days. Yeah – their life is going to be a fairly epic adventure.
She lets him in, and they talk for just a few minutes, sitting in her living room. He doesn't linger long. Honestly, there's not that much they have left to say to each other, and anyway, it's his last day - he needs to spend time with his family.
She tells him, quite earnestly, to be safe, and he wishes her the same in the big city.
"Yeah, but I have three boys to look out for me," she says. "Don't worry about me. You just worry about getting yourself back safe. Otherwise, who else am I going to sing with at McKinley's five-year reunion?" Her tone is teasing, but her eyes are serious.
He nods. "I'll be back before you know it."
"I'm gonna hug you now, okay?" she says.
There's four years of memories in that hug.
Of slushies to the face and awkward conversations about girlfriends in the Carmel High lobby, of Journey numbers in their auditorium just for the fun of it, of decidedly inappropriate choreography at their first glee club performance. Of missed yearbook photos and bouncing around on mattresses, of Babygate and her being the only one brave enough to tell him the truth, of flying high on a Sectionals performance they weren't even sure would happen in the first place.
Of picking the wrong girls. Of watching her fall in love - for real, this time - with someone else. Of awkward Springsteen numbers, of picking her up when her heart was broken, of hurried confessions at Regionals, of the summer that followed when he somehow knew that, even though he got his wish, part of her heart was still elsewhere.
Of dancing with her at his mother's wedding. Of mistakes and half-truths on both ends, of terrible misunderstandings and fights in a freezing Christmas tree lot. Of songwriting and red plastic cups in her basement and carrying her upstairs to tuck her in afterward, when she was too inebriated to remember it the next morning. Of fistfights at the prom, of funerals.
Of a plane ride to New York, watching her face light up at the city came into view, and knowing right that moment how this story would end, no matter how hard he tried. Of a poorly-timed kiss at Nationals - he doesn't know how she forgave him for that - and of a summer pretending they didn't know what was coming.
Of earnest conversations over college applications - conversations that had been a long time coming. Of tears and kind of a resigned acceptance. Of awkwardly forging something new out of that as they watched each other struggle to find their own paths. Of the day she came back from her audition in New York, acceptance letter in hand and a huge smile plastered across her face. Of her flying off the handle in tears when she'd found out he'd met with the Army recruiter, of sitting her down and telling her about his dad, for the first time – why couldn't they ever talk like this when they were dating? Of sharing a platonic dance at senior prom when their own dates cut in on each other – Quinn claimed Jesse still owed her from the year before – and laughing at how their lives had turned out. Of how she screamed in his ear when he picked her up and hugged her when they finally got their own Nationals trophy to hoist, knowing they'd really done one good thing together as co-captains.
When it came down to it, Finn was just never supposed to go to New York. But she has always been meant to go. She's leaving next week, he knows. With her best friends, including the guy who really loves her, and who is supposed to go there, too. She's going to go build the life she had always imagined. He imagines reading about her in the papers when she makes it big, and pointing out his friend to the people he'll meet, who won't believe it anyway.
He doesn't know yet exactly what path his life is going to take. But he knows he's doing the right thing for now, anyway. He knows the right door will open. And he knows that she'll keep in touch somehow. She'll be proud of him in her own way. And, whether it's a year from now or five years from now, when he turns up with that girl, she'll be just as happy for him as he is for her.
He knows their fate wasn't to be together – not in that way. But it is to be friends forever.
He lets himself out of the house for the last time. Her boyfriend, having excused himself earlier, has been sitting patiently on the front steps, to give Rachel her privacy (and because, what he's really saying is, he trusts her). He stands back up, nods at Finn, and extends his hand.
"Take care of yourself, Hudson."
Finn clasps his hand firmly. "Take care of her."
Jesse's eyes are serious, absolutely no hint of his usual smirk as he nods. "Always."