Walking Back To Happiness

DISCLAIMER: I am not connected to Emmerdale and it's characters, which belong to ITV

This is my "happier alternative" to the story which is currently running on TV.

Part 1 - Beginnings

Jackson was sitting up in his bed in Dale Head; Aaron was sitting in the chair opposite.

"I thought you had to get back to the garage," said Jackson.

"I will in a minute, anyway, are you trying to get rid of me?" replied the young mechanic, "Have you got a hot date lined up and want me out of the way?"

"Yeah, right," quipped Jackson, "I found someone on the internet who specialises in getting a tetraplegic's rocks off!"

Aaron was pleased that his boyfriend had lost none of his sarcastic wit!

As Jackson turned his head to address Aaron, he winced in pain as he felt a sharp stab in his neck. Aaron immediately jumped out of his chair, "You alright?"

"Yeah, just another spasm in my neck, that's all, just part of everyday life in Jackson's world."

"OK, I'll see you later then," Aaron bent down to kiss his lover and, as he did so, he squeezed Jackson's arm.

"Ah!" cried Jackson.

"Sorry, did I hurt your neck?"

"No! My arm, I can feel your hand on my arm!"

"What?" exclaimed Aaron, "You can feel it?"

"It's weird; it's like pins and needles! It feels sore at the same time"

Aaron removed his hand, but Jackson stopped him, "Put your hand back. Please Aaron; I want to know I'm not dreaming!"

Aaron did as he was asked, "That OK?"

"Yes, I CAN feel you! Oh my God!"

Aaron's tears began to well up in his eyes, "I'll call the hospital, we need to get you checked out!"

Hazel found Aaron sitting in the waiting area at the hospital.

"How is he?" she queried.

"They're just checking him out now; I haven't heard anything for about an hour."

Hazel sat in a chair next to her son's boyfriend, "I would have been here a bit sooner, but I was trying to get hold of Jerry. You're not going to believe this, but the jammy bugger's only gone and won the lottery! "

"What? How much?"

"I'm not sure, but he sounded very excited so it must be big!"

"Wow, the lucky sod!" Aaron's tone was not malicious, "Is he coming?"

"He says he'll be along later."

Just then, a nurse appeared. "Are you here with Jackson Walsh?"

Hazel and Aaron both rose to their feet.

The nurse continued, "He's just being settled in, you can see him now."

They were ushered into a room where Jackson was sitting, propped up in bed. He smiled as the two people that he loved most in the world came through the door.

"Jackson, love; are you OK?" Hazel wore a concerned frown.

"Yeah, how are you feeling, mate?" Aaron queried.

"I'm fine, don't worry. They've checked me out and something's happened in my neck, they reckon there's some healing going on, apparently it happens sometimes. They're being a bit cagey, but I've got pins and needles in my arms so they said I might be getting some sensation back! Looks as if I could be one of the lucky ones!"

Aaron and Hazel both started to cry.

"Oh come on you two!" Jackson said with a grin, "I don't know what you'd be like if it was bad news!"

"This is all I've dreamt of for months now," Hazel gulped between tears, "I'm so happy for you!"

"Don't get carried away! They don't know yet if it's a temporary thing, or permanent. I still think I might be dreaming all this."

Aaron took hold of Jackson's hand. "Can you feel that?"

"Yes!"

"Then this is not a dream, it's real."

"I always thought holding your hand was something I would never be able to do again!" Jackson's thoughts were racing; he wished his lover would leave his hand where it was forever.

As if reading his thoughts, Aaron said "You can hold my hand whenever you want. I never want to let go!"

"I can't feel you properly, it's still a bit odd, but it's not just numb like it used to be."

"Can you raise your arm?" Aaron wanted to know.

"No, but I asked the doctor, he said that movement might come back later, especially if I have some more physio."

"Good!" Aaron couldn't find any more words to express his feelings, but he wanted to sweep his lover up into his strong arms and let him experience touch for the first time in months.

Part 2 – Awakenings

It was a month since Jackson had started to gain sensation in his arms. He had just completed another round of physio when Aaron appeared through the door of Dale Head. He crossed the room to greet Jackson, in his wheelchair, with a quick kiss. As he bent down, Jackson grabbed him with both arms and made the kiss linger.

"Easy tiger!" quipped Aaron, "They've created a monster! There's no stopping you now you can use your arms again! How was the physio?"

"Good thanks! They've confirmed that the movement in my arms is getting stronger all the time!"

"Mint! I guess I'll have to get used to your gripping hands!" Aaron laughed.

"You never used to complain!" Jackson wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I've got some more good news too. My arms are not the only place I've got sensation, I had some stirrings down there this morning!"

"You mean...?"

"Yes, I hope you're staying over tonight!"

"We can use the bed at my place. Paddy's living room is not the most romantic place in the world but... "

"Listen Aaron," Jackson turned serious, "I can't thank you enough for the way you've stuck by me these past few months. A lot of people would have bailed, but you've been there every step of the way; even in my darkest days you've pulled me through. I love you so much."

Aaron closed in for another kiss which Jackson eagerly accepted and returned.

"I love you too, you do know that don't you?" Aaron sought reassurance.

"Of course I do."

"Good. And there's no need to thank me, you muppet! I owe you everything..." Aaron's bottom lip began to quiver.

"Hey, you're going all soft in your old age!"

"Shut up!"

"That's more like it!"

They were interrupted by a knock at the door, then Jerry entered the room.

"Hello Dad."

"Alright son! How did the physio go?"

"I was just telling Aaron, it was good thanks."

"I wanted to run something past you," it was Jerry's turn to take on a serious tone, "I've been doing some research online and it seems there's some pioneering work going on in America; seems they are getting people in your situation back on their feet, in some cases."

"That's all very well Dad, but that sort of thing costs a fortune!"

"Well, I was going to say that, if you want to go for it, I'll put up the cash. I've still got plenty in the bank from that win I had."

"No Dad, I can't ask you to do that!"

"Look Jackson, I treated you really badly when you were younger and I'm so sorry. I've tried to make it up to you since. I want to help!"

"That's the problem; I don't want you doing it out of guilt. I wouldn't feel right, taking your money. Anyway, you've got Josh to consider."

"I've put a large deposit in a trust fund for Josh. Now I want to put a deposit in a fund for you! I want to treat both my sons equally."

"Sorry Dad, but I can't accept."

"You're a proud man, that's one of the things I admire about you. There's no need to decide straight away. If you change your mind, the offer's there, OK?"

It was warm and cosy in Smithy Cottage. Aaron and Jackson were lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, just being content in each other's company.

Aaron was almost afraid to speak, as if to do so would break a spell. "Have you had any thoughts about what your Dad said, about the money?"

"Yes, and the answer's still the same."

"OK. But if there was a chance you could walk again..."

"That's it, a chance. I don't want him spending thousands of pounds on a treatment which may never work. It would just be a waste. I don't want him to waste his money."

"But, it wouldn't be a waste if it worked, would it!"

"Have you been talking to him? Are you ganging up on me?"

"Now, you know me and your Dad never exchange more than about three words! And even they are usually littered with a few swear ones! But I am with him on this one!"

"Anyway, I don't want to talk about it, OK."

"OK."

"I'm getting used to your sleepovers," Hazel said as Jackson entered his room after the night with Aaron, "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Mum!" he scolded his mother.

"I'm only asking if you had a good time, I don't want all the gory details!"

"Yeah, sorry! It was nice."

"Good! I was speaking to your father last night. He said he wants to help with some new treatment in the US."

"Oh, he's been getting at you now, has he? I told him no!"

"But why, sweetheart, he only wants to help. And if it means you could walk again..."

"But we don't know that, do we? Supposing it doesn't work; I'll still be the same as I am now, and I'll owe him thousands that I'll never be able to pay back."

"He won't want it back! Hell, if I had that sort of money I'd give it all to you willingly to make you better. That would be reward enough, and it would be for him too."

"But we don't know if it would make me better!"

"But it might! Surely it's worth a shot? You've always had a stubborn streak! Why look a gift horse in the mouth?"

"You're beginning to sound like Aaron!"

"He knows about your father's offer?"

"Yeah, he was here when Dad called round."

"And what does Aaron think you should do?"

"What do you think? Take the money!"

"Do you love him?"

"You know I do, what a daft question!"

"Well, if you do love him; and your father, and they want you to have a chance of walking again, don't you owe it to them to at least try!"

Jackson thought about it. Maybe he was being stubborn and maybe he owed it to his loved ones to comply with their wishes.

"OK, let's give Dad a call!"

Part 3 – Treating

"What time is your flight tomorrow?" Aaron looked at Jackson, laying next to him in his double bed.

"Three o'clock," Jackson replied, "So I've plenty of time to get to the airport."

"I'm going to miss you! I won't know what to do with myself while you're away!"

"I'm sure Adam will keep you occupied; as long as you don't go cruising at Bar West!"

"No way! You know you're the only one for me, I don't want anyone else."

Jackson leaned into the kiss that Aaron offered him. When their lips parted, Jackson spoke, "You're going all soft again! I'm going to miss you too. I'll text you every day and think about you every second!"

"I'll be thinking of you too, worrying how you are getting on with the treatment. I'll just have to throw myself into my work!"

"That'll please Debbie! At least you won't have to skive off work to see me. It's a long walk to the States and a bit wet too!"

"You're an idiot sometimes."

"Hark who's talking!"

They both started giggling and then kissed again. They fell into a loving embrace and settled down to their last night together before Jackson had to leave for his trip.

"You heard from Jackson today?" Paddy enquired, as he and Aaron sat in the kitchen of Smithy Cottage, a month after Jackson had left for America.

"Yeah, as always!" Aaron replied, sarcastically. Paddy knew he received an update from Jackson, without fail, every day.

Paddy also knew it was like getting blood out of a stone if he wanted more information, but he continued, "Well, how's he doing?"

"Great, yeah, reckons he's able to wiggle his toes now!"

"That's fantastic news! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to say too much in case I jinxed it! Anyway, he's not likely to be running a marathon any time soon."

"These things don't happen in five minutes! At least it sounds as if he's getting sensation back in his legs, that's got to be a good sign, hasn't it?"

Aaron nodded his agreement.

"Come on," Paddy continued, "Let's hit the Woolpack, I'll buy you a pint."

Paddy and Aaron were playing darts while Chas was serving behind the bar. When they had finished their game, Aaron approached the bar for another round.

"So, how's Jackson?" asked Chas.

"Yeah, sounds like he's getting better thanks."

"Listen love, I know I was a right cow about you and Jackson getting back together; but I was only thinking of you and how you'd be tied down. But I've come to see how much you love him, unconditionally. You are so lucky to have found that; so early on in your life."

"Yeah. I didn't know what love was, or if I would ever know. It took a while for me to realise but, I'm sure that's what I feel for him. You once asked me if he was 'the love of my life'; well, he is, I just know it."

"I'm so happy that things might be going your way at last. I'm really pleased for you son."

"Thanks Mum."

Part Four – Returning

Aaron waited impatiently with Paddy at the airport. Soon, he would be reunited with Jackson after months of separation.

Aaron looked at Paddy and spoke "Rhona not coming?"

"Sorry, no. She wanted to be here but had to go on a call-out, someone's got to keep the business running I suppose!"

Aaron did not reply, too many thoughts were running through his head. He knew, from Jackson's last message, that his boyfriend had been working hard to regain control of his legs, but it was still an uphill struggle. Then he saw Hazel and Jackson making their way towards him; Jackson was still in a wheelchair. At first, Aaron's face dropped. Then, with a few yards still separating them, Hazel passed two walking sticks to her son. Jackson, with every ounce of effort he could muster, forced himself out of the chair into a rather unsteady standing position. He then took a couple of faltering steps towards Aaron, who by this time had tears of joy streaming down his face. Aaron ran towards Jackson, threw his arms around his lover and gave him a huge kiss, not caring who was watching or what they thought.

"I w-w-anted to do this," Jackson said; with a sob in his voice, "for you!"

"Oh, my baby!" cried Aaron, "I am so, so proud of you!"

Jackson was overcome with emotion. Not only had he managed to walk towards his boyfriend, but Aaron, for the first time ever, had called him "my baby". This was quickly turning into one of the best days of his life!

Jackson was still tired. With the combination of his exertions, plus the jet-lag, he slept for hours in his own bed. Aaron was on his mattress next to his lover, having never left his side since he arrived home.

When Jackson woke up, he looked for Aaron, but he was not on the mattress.

He called out "Aaron!"

As quick as a flash, Aaron came bounding down the stairs with a worried expression on his face.

"You OK babe?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just woke up and you weren't there!"

"I was just upstairs getting a drink. Want one?"

"In a minute, how long have I been asleep?"

"Ten hours solid!"

"Wow! I guess I could sleep for England after that trip!"

"I was watching over you, it's so good having you home; I've missed you so much."

Aaron approached the bed and bent to kiss Jackson. It was a long, lingering kiss, trying to make up for their time apart. Jackson had been so tired that they had barely kissed since the airport, now they had a lot of catching up to do.

After the kiss, Aaron spoke softly "I've missed that too!"

"Well, you've got me all to yourself from now on, that is, if you still want me!"

"Are you kidding? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, isn't that what they say?"

"Listen to you, getting all poetic!" laughed Jackson, "You haven't been replaced by an alien while I've been away, have you?"

"You sarky git! I know I've never been one to talk about my feelings, but it's different with you, I can relax, I don't have to pretend."

"I know; and I love that you can relax with me. I get to see a side of you that no-one else does. Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"No, well, not since you woke up anyway!"

"I'll put that right then! I love you babe."

"I love you too, more than you know!"

They kissed again, more passionately than either of them could remember.

When they broke the kiss, Aaron spoke again "Listen Jackson, I've done a lot of thinking while you've been away."

"That's dangerous!"

"Stop it! I'm being serious! Well, what I was going to say was, why don't we live together permanently? I want to be with you, all the time."

"Me too, you know that. But it's going to be a long, hard slog to get me back to normal again. I still need a lot of treatment, plus I don't know how long it will be before I will be able to walk unaided."

"But I want to be by your side, to help you, to share your ups and downs, come what may. I once told you I'd never let you down and I meant it."

The tears began to fall from Jackson's big brown eyes. Aaron hugged him, "What's the matter?"

"You!" Jackson sobbed, "I don't deserve you! In the past, I've pushed you away, thought you wouldn't be strong enough to cope; and all the time you've been like a rock! I was so wrong and I'll never try to push you away, not ever again."

"You soft lad!" Aaron said, as his own tears fell from his baby blues, "It's me that doesn't deserve you!"

"I guess we deserve each other!" Jackson moved his head towards Aaron and was immediately rewarded with a soft, warm kiss.

Their lips parted. "I think that," Aaron said, softly, "what we both deserve is a bit of happiness!"