-John, open the door – Screamed Karkat.
-No
-Seriously John, open the door – This time Dave was talking.
-No
-John… - The blonde said softly.
- Leave
-John, open the door
-No…
-John…
-NO, now, leave! I don't want to see you two!
-Do whatever you want to – Dave turned on his heels and leave, head down, he couldn't hide that he was concerned, after all he have a lot of the blame.
-Karkat, leave you too.
-No
-Karkat, leave, I don't want to see nor hear you. I don't want to have you around.
-No, John, I'm not going anywhere, I perfectly know that you want to hear my voice, see and have me, don't fool yourself
-No, I don't want it, I just… I just want you to leave; I don't want to see your face again… Not now, not ever, so… Please, I beg you, leave me alone. – John's voice broke in the half of the sentence.
-John…
-Karkat… P-Please…
-… John… I… -Karkat sighed and rested his head on the bathroom door, John could hear sobs… But they could be his… He didn't know, the only thing he knew is that his chest hurt, no, his heart hurt, a lot… He couldn't believe what had happening just a few moments ago, who is he kidding? He believed it, after all he saw it with his own eyes, what he couldn't believe is how it could happen; He all the time thought that everything was fine, because everything was going fine until that moment… No, anything was fine, if everything had been fine, any of this had been happening anything was fine, everything was wrong, is wrong and will be wrong, everything is a mess, Why the hell he didn't realize it before?! He wouldn't have suffered that much, wouldn't be in the bathroom of his own home crying, wouldn't be heartbroken, he would not be even there.
-KARKAT GO AWAY-
The albino only looked at the door one more time and walked away. John heard as he walked away more and more, until he no longer heard anything. John washed his face and went to his room, only to get his stuff, just being in that house made the memories came to him and he didn't want to remember anything now… Rather never. There was no sign of Karkat or Dave that made another sigh escape the lips of John. The silence was killing him, but that didn't matter, he was already dead inside.
He tried to sleep, but he couldn't, a lot of thing were crossing his head, everything had happened so fast, it felt so unreal, but it wasn't, it was real, really painful.
o-O-o
-You're a idiot…
-Yeah…
-Seriously, Dave, how… How the hell you dare to do something like that?! Are you that stupid? Have you ever stopped to think only of yourself!? I doubt it, OMG!, Dave! You're…
-Yeah, yeah, Jade, I know, I'm the biggest asshole, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! Just leave me alone… Do you… Do you think I'm not feeling bad?!
-And the why…
-I don't know, ok? Itjust… Happened.
-You're not that stupid, Dave.
-Ok, ok… It just… It just crossed my mind and I did it, I never thought about it… and I never… I never thought that… That John would see or something.
-You were in his house, his and Karkat's house, it is so damn obvious.
-But he supposed to be buying stuff.
-You are not a idiot, you are an asshole, a really huge one.
-I know… - Dave sighs, he's feeling bad, so damn bad… He never should did that, he was not a idiot or a asshole, he was and is a bastard… - But I did it and I can't fix that.
-Yes, you can, and you know it.
-Yeah…
-Are you going to do something? Right? Because you know how horrible John is felling right now, right?
-I… I think so… But…
-You're a coward, aren't you?
-Fuck it, Harley, how the fuck you…
- I know you better than you know yourself, Dave.
-You're a weirdo
-And you're…
-I'm what?
-You're a…
-A bastard?
-An idiot.
-Whatever, Bro's home.
-Oh, ok… Bye
-Bye.
Dave sighs, he never has feel something like that, How it's called? Oh, right, blame. A lot of blame, a painful blame, it's making feel Dave so horrible inside.
-'Sup.
-Hey Bro… Dinner?
-Pizza
-Cool.
After ate some pizza, Dave goes for a walk, he wants to clear his mind, but he can't, he can still remembering the face that John had in the moment he saw them, it was so… So… So No-John… It was the first time he saw those blue eyes so dull, surprised and hurt… So hurt, that hurt that he felt hurt too. The blonde was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't realize that he collided with someone, until he felt the cold and hard concrete.
-Who the fuck was – Oh, it's you Dave…
-Oh, hey there Vriska – Says Dave emotionless – What do you do here?
-Nothing important, I'm buying stuff for Tavros and Gamzee…
-Wow, wow, wow… When the hell you, the spiderbitch start to be that -Dave couldn't finish because Vriska had already struck a strong fist.
-Since always, asshole.
-And… W-Why was that…?
-You have a lot of things to pay, and no, not with me... I'm just giving you a preview of what you deserve -Says Vriska while she leaves.
-What the fuck is wrong with her?! – Murmurs Dave, recovering his cool, and keep walking, this time, paying attention to where he was, but he wanted not to do that…
-John… - Say quietly.
And yes, there was the black haired boy, in a café, he doesn't look like he had live the worst experience of his life, no, he looks normal, like everything is fine in his derpy happy life, but that was only a first glance, anyone who know John even a little know that John is not John without a smile on his face and that derpy look of his… And for who know him better, they can say, only looking at his eyes that everything, every-fucking-thing was all mess up in his life, he was not happy, he was not the happy boy that everybody loves.
-I'm sorry… So sorry… - Dave says quietly, with the hurt and blame that no one had ever heard in his voice, no one listen, not even John knew he was close and he knows that, he only said those words because they born from his heart, his ironic, cool and hurt for blame heart.
o-O-o
Karkat is nervous, after what happened, he was in the limbo, not knowing what to say nor do… He only knows that John wants to talk with him at a near café, what does he want to talk about? He doesn't know…
Karkat arrives a little late, but only for the nervous; as he arrived he could see the blue-eyed boy and came near him.
-John, I… - Tried to say Karkat, nervous.
-Karkat, sit down, please. – John interrupted giving a couple of drinks of sips to his coffee – I cited you here because… Well, you know, all of this happened to fast, don't you think? Because I do – Karkat just nodded.
-But, You know? That doesn't matter anymore… It hurt, I can't lie I cried what I didn't cry in my 23 years of life, but it doesn't matter anymore…
-John, W-What… What do you mean?
-Everything is over, Karkat; in the moment that… you know… that happened… Since then it has all over, I'm moving tomorrow morning. I hope you to be happy with Strider, he's... a good person or well, I think... I don't even know anymore... Just... Good luck you two.
Sentenced John to stand up and go, the red eyed just stared at the space where previously his lover...No, ex-lover...
-Puff… Don't you dare… DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, JOHNATHAN FUCKING EGBERT TO FUCK WITH ME– Karkat yells, calling the attention of all the local and also John's, who was about to cross the door of the café.
-Pardon me?
-What that fuck?! Do you think that there is something between that fuckass and me? John, please! I know you're stupid, but, fuck's sake, I didn't know that you are that stupid… Do you really think that… - Karkat paused – That I'll change you for him? – Says softly Karkat, looking right in those blue hurt eyes.
-But you already did it, Karkat… And there is no more to do.
And there was, that look, that fucking look, so full of pain, misery… of… sadness…
-Nothing… Nothing else matters anymore Karkat… If… If you don't want to be with Strider, it's fine, and if you want to, it's fine too… You're free; I'm not going to be between your decisions, so goodbye Karkat… I wish you the best… -And then John left, everyone keeps looking at the boy who is still static there, looking at the void left by the another boy. It was all over and he knows that, Dave as well do… Everyone do… Everything is… all… over.
Any mistakes please say it to me, English is not my first language.
Karkat Vantas, John Egbert, Bro, Dave Strider, Jade Harley and Vriska Serket (Also Tavros Nitram and Gamzee Makara) (C) Homestuck
Homestuck (C) Andrew Hussie
24/02/14