Author's Note: It's a small teaser chapter, I know but this is the beginning of my long-threatened, annual HP Christmas story. This story is meant to take place sometime during the new war…so I'll endeavor to say during Order of the Phoenix. This is not a Dark Prince story. I don't own Charles Dickens' wonderful story nor do I own JK Rowlings' wonderful characters but enjoy how I butcher them anyways. Happy Holidays!

Disclaimer: "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended,

That you did but slumber'd here while these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme is no more yielding then a dream."

-Midsummer's Night Dream

The Christmas Conspiracy

By: Lady Erised

Chapter One: Gathering of Spirits

"Marley was dead, to begin with.

There is no doubt whatever about that.

The register of his burial was signed by

The clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker

And the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it.

And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change

For anything he chose to put his hand to.

Old Marley was as dead as a doornail.

This must be distinctly understood or nothing

wonderful can come of the story I am about to relate…"

Severus Snape looked up from his leather bound tome at the sound of a soft rapping on his door. He thought idly for a moment that it was Albus Dumbledore, the school's Headmaster, calling on him to drag him to the Christmas Staff Party. This had become a yearly event for both the Potions Master and the Headmaster, one that was approached with hidden affection and feigned angst by both parties. Snape set his face into a grim sneer and buried himself deep into his chair, preparing himself for that most loved of hobbies: tormenting Dumbledore.

"Enter." He growled, and looked down to mark his spot.

The door opened timidly, not at all like Dumbledore's confident stride, causing Severus to look up again. There stood not Dumbledore, but Minerva McGonagall, her small hands wrung together in front of her making her appear small and nervous in his dim light. Snape frowned, closing his book, and sitting up as she was joined by the hulking figure of the Groundskeeper Rubeus Hagrid, and the slender pale figure of Remus Lupin.

"Who's dead?" He deadpanned.

"Oh Severus," Minerva hissed, looking away from him. "Don't say such things."

"What else can I do when you darken my door?"

"You can help us." Remus said in his normal aloof manner. He folded his arms over his thin chest, nodding. "With Albus."

"What's he doing?"

"It's what he's not doing that frightens us!" Hagrid chirped.

"Oh?" In all honestly, Severus couldn't care less what the Headmaster was doing, (at least that's what he could pretend) but knew he would not be free of these irksome spirits until he had heard their plight. He made a motion for his decanter, refusing to stand and pour however. To do that, would be to admit he wanted their company.

Remus shook his head at the glass Hagrid offered to him. "He's locked himself in his room."

"Gift wrapping presents no doubt…"

"No. Locking himself in." Minerva murmured. "Refusing company, or anything."

"The Staff Party's begun…" Severus began uneasily as he rose. He had to admit the news was disturbing at best and in truth, downright frightening. Albus Dumbledore was a pillar and an especially important one now that the war had begun again. He didn't like the mental image of such a pillar stumbling under the weight of his own burden. "Are you sure he's not just biding his time for an entrance?"

"He's sent Remus and I away when we've come to bring him." Minerva added softly. She took a step forward, brushing Snape's arm. "The Board of Governors are upstairs too. If Dumbledore doesn't appear soon…in his usual upbeat mood…I fear what Lucius will turn this into."

Snape frowned, and glanced idly at his chair, where his book rested undisturbed. He inhaled quietly, mainly to gather some strength together for the madness he was about to undergo. Still, his childish idea did give him the smallest amount of joy.

After all, how many times did he of all people get to the herald of Christmas cheer?

"I have an idea." Severus murmured softly, and on command, the others came to the alert. "But I'll need your help."