September, 1976
James Potter was changeable. It was the nicest adjective Lily Evans could find for him, alongside bloody confusing.
It was September 1st, and she was waiting on the platform, gazing through the crowds and determinedly not thinking about the times mum had waved her goodbye on it. If Alice would just show up, it might be a little easier. When she saw, through a large puff of dense smoke the train gave out, a figure marching with some determination towards her, she had the idiocy to hope it was her tiny and very feminine figured friend. The person headed in her direction was about 6ft tall and had broad shoulders.
Long, swinging hair though. Very girlish. Lily wasn't looking forward to the addition to her party of one, but hey, Sirius Black was nothing if not a distraction from the mire of her thoughts.
"Evans. Spiffing to see you again. Simply top notch," there was the broad smile and dark, shadowy brown eyes with lashes unfairly long for a boy. There was that thick black hair hanging past his ears, and a tiny scar beneath his right eye.
"What do you want, Black?" Lily asked. Not too harshly, but she could do without being poked by his 'humour' right now. Sirius' grin fell a little bit, and he shuffled his feet, hands thrust in pockets, and he looked at her shoulder.
"I um … Look, I know it's none of my business but Moo- Remus told us about your Mum," Lily gave him a very sharp gaze, one that clearly told him to step the fuck back. But Sirius didn't really do that as a rule. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I really do understand about family … problems. So if you ever needed to talk to someone, I'm here, I guess,"
That was really not what she had been expecting. A usual 'I'm so sorry and I pity you so much' was precisely what she thought was coming her way, again, but no. He didn't say he was sorry like he could have done something. He phrased it differently. Giving him another scouring once over, Lily nodded.
"Right. Thanks. I can't really talk about it right now, I'm just trying to get along," Sirius gave a slow incline of the head, obviously thinking she'd got the wrong end of the stick. Lately, she hadn't felt like making people feel better about themselves, but she needed him to know she appreciated it. "But, when I can … I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?"
"Deal." The winning beam was back, accompanied by a quirk of the brow. "Fancy sitting in our compartment today, Evans? You can bring your gaggle of skirts if you like; we'll have a riot,"
And she smiled. It felt like an age since the lightness in her chest had curved her lips up into something genuine and warm, but that was her reaction now. She still shook her head, though.
"Thanks Black, but I'm not sure if a Marauder riot is what I need right now. It was nice of you to offer," he rolled his eyes dramatically, trying to look disappointed as he huffed,
"Everyone always needs a Marauder riot, Evans, I simply do not know what you're thinking. I'll forgive this once for your misjudgement. Maybe next time eh?" Lily was about to say she'd think about it, and possibly comment on the fact that Sirius was wearing a very muggle Rolling Stones t-shirt and pair of ripped jeans, when, low and behold, James Potter came careering up to his best friend just in time to shatter her mood.
The smile was crushed by a set jaw and the lightness skimmed into a billowing feeling of blackness, like seeing James had re-opened a void she'd been trying to ignore all summer.
James had his hazel eyes darting anywhere but her beneath his black rimmed square glasses. Deep brown, utterly unruly hair brushed tips against his forehead, tops of his ears, the sky. His lanky, tight frame made his seem skinny beside his friend, who was glancing between them like a mouse caught in a cat fight, but his razor edged cheek and jaw bones attracted attention to his face like a spotlight. Lily was staring at it now, but her gaze kept getting rebuffed to his long, straight nose that his glasses perched precariously upon.
"We'd better go, Padfoot. Moony's here, he's got us a decent compartment, up the top," James had his body turned towards his mate, so he'd have to purposefully twist his head to look at Lily. She was fuming. That bloody coward was too scared to even look at her.
Sirius seemed to be sensing the dangerous mood. "Alrigh'. Later Evans. Remember what I said about talking," he gave a quick, but sweetly meaningful smile, before stepping back, clearing indicating James should acknowledge Lily's presence.
Which, shockingly enough, he did. He managed to meet the imperious glare, and hold the hostile stare of the girl was the chin thrust high and arms wound tight over her chest. He ran a hand over the back of his neck, but didn't let it slip into his hair.
"Hi. Um, Remus said he'd meet you in front of the Prefects compartment at 11? Is … Is that okay?" Lily was nonplussed. Totally. James Potter was stumbling over his words. James fucking Potter was looking so uncomfortable, she could almost feel sorry for him. If only she hadn't been so god damn heartbroken, she might have tried to be comforting.
"Yeah, that's fine," he dropped his gaze, shoving that hands into the pockets of his jeans. Muggle jeans. Lily frowned, but added a soft, "thanks."
The word made him glance back up, and it hovered between them, a peace offering neither of them was able to extend, to pull out until it was real. They lingered on either side of it, equally confused, until James, with a pained expression, murmured,
"I'm so sorry, Lily," and turned away with a half-smile that made those big, almost green but still kind of chestnut eyes look more sad.
He and Sirius walked side by side, motions fitting together so smoothly they looked like two parts of one being, and Lily watched them until they were engulfed by smoke, heart beating too hard and images of Severus and her mother making her head spin.
I'm so sorry Lily.
What the hell for? And why did those words make her chest seem tighter, the air around her thicker.
"Was that Potter and Black?" Oh, thank Merlin for Alice. Lily sighed with heartfelt relief as she turned to face her best friend, who was standing behind her in her usual power-pose stance, all short and spiky brunette hair and rich, huge chocolate eyes that continually smiled. The girl gave a cheeky teeth showing smile as she looked at Lily, trolley beside her.
"Yes," Lily breathed, leaning to hug Alice, the familiar feeling of strong arms wound tight around her easing the discomfort of the losses she was being reminded of. Although Alice was nearly a whole head smaller than her, Lily knew she would never have the power packed into that slight body.
"What on Earth did they want?" They pushed their trolleys towards the train, weaving between the bodies of students and parents alike. Each time they passed a mother, Lily's stomach twinged.
"Remus told them about my mum. Black came over to say I could talk to him about if I wanted, and Potter just showed up to come get him," at a door in the train, they stopped their trolleys and Lily stepped in, taking the heavy trunks as Alice handed them to her. Tucking them into the nearest shelf, they moved further into the train, and among crowds of fast talking students cramming the corridors. "I think Potter knew too, because he said, 'I'm so sorry' as he was leaving,"
Lily tried to pass her last comment of lightly, but Alice gave her a shrewd look before returning to her occupation of scanning the packed space for any sight of Marlene, Mary or Dorcas. So far, there was none, and they remained in the gap, out of the flow of the pupils.
"Maybe he was apologising for last year?" The smaller of the two suggested, not taking her eyes off the hall, but Lily snapped her own to her friends face, unease increasing.
"I don't … he already did that. I don't know why he would again,"
"Maybe he thought you might listen now?" Alice's tone was calm, but Lily knew her well enough to detect the hint of amused reprimand it hid.
"I listened the first time," she defended, and now Alice gave a snort.
"Does listening and then yelling count? I'm not too sure," now Lily let out a little almost-a-laugh-breath, making Alice glance up, smiling encouragingly.
"Okay, maybe not. But I did listen. I just didn't really care,"
"Oh, we could tell, don't worry about-"
"Mary!" Through throngs of heads milling about, Lily caught sight of a viciously blond bob losing tendrils of hair, and cut of Alice's sarcastic comment by stepping out into the mass of people, yelling and holding up her hand.
"Lily!" Came a returned shriek, and then a warm, rich voice calling,
"Come up here, we have a seat!" telling her Marlene McKinnon was up there too. Alice stood behind her and Lily had to duck and shove her way through the crowd that didn't seem to be diminishing, even though it was 5 to 11. When they reached the end, and were about to cut into the next carriage, and hand grabbed Lily's elbow and tugged her rather roughly through an open door.
"Merlin, that crowd was suffocating," Alice whined, but Lily had already flung her arms around the neck of Marlene, and wasn't listening.
Marlene was tall and slender and curvy, with lavender eyes shaped like cats, her skin the colour of dark milky coffee. She was all smiles and sweetness and continually smelled like vanilla, and Lily breathed the comforting scent in with her nose against the soft, sharp cut black hair that fell to her shoulders.
"Oh, Lil," Marlene sighed, squeezing her gently.
This is an incomplete version of the first chapter in what I hope to make a story of sixth and seventh year Marauders Hogwarts. Chapter for each month.