Here we go! Another story!
You might be wondering, yet another!? What happened to all the ones I've been meaning to update?
And to that, dear readers, I will just assure you that updates are coming! This fic is completed, and I'll be updating daily with the chapters.
This story is for Misslane, who wanted a small story and got...16k words instead!
She liked it, so I hope you all like it too!
Emma Swan was cursed.
It had been a peculiar thing. One day, everything was fine and dandy; when the clock chimed midnight, and she turned 18, she was no longer visible.
Literally. For the past ten years, she had been utterly invisible to the entire world.
"Maybe you're so good-looking, the world isn't ready for it," her best friend and roommate, as well as the only person who knew she still existed, Ruby Lucas, quipped when she had found out.
Emma had leveled her with a glare for it. Or rather, she would have, if she had been visible. "Not funny. And I'm glaring at you, just for your information."
Ruby had cackled. "Oh yeah, I can feel the invisible lasers making a gaping hole between my eyebrows."
Leading a normal life while invisible was…difficult to say the least, to not say outright impossible. She couldn't make any friends, and the few times that Ruby had tried to help her had only resulted in screams and/or running. Some were a bit more interesting in their reactions, like those who believed it to be a good ventriloquism joke, and the poor girl who claimed she would get Ruby exorcised, returning to douse her with holy water.
So she stayed locked up in their loft, experiencing the world from her windowsill. The only time she left the house was when she went downstairs to the radio station that she operated from the main floor of the building. Just because she was invisible, didn't mean that she had to live as a hermit. So she hosted the town's radio station.
Her voice still functioned wonders, so nothing stopped her from taking control of Storybrooke's only radio station, SYBE 108.7, where she played everything from Top 40 hits, or even themed musical extravaganzas like Friday Night Oldies, where she allowed the geriatric to relieve their glory days through music.
Her true success though, was with her love advice hour hosted every night at midnight. Listeners would call in with romantic problems that they had, and Emma would offer advice in return. Granted she didn't have much personal experience - the whole invisibility thing killed her chances - but she had read books, heard stories, seen people from her window, and had Ruby's numerous stories engraved in her brain, so she knew enough to get her through.
The town was large enough that listeners who called could be completely anonymous, but she still had a few who disguised their voices just in case. Emma didn't mind though, she got to interact with new people every day.
"Mary Margaret, if you tell me to call that ridiculous love advice show one more time, I am grabbing one of your birdhouses, and throwing it over your head," Regina threatened.
She wasn't actually threatening her, but she did want her friend to ease up on this insistence that Regina's love life could be somehow revived by this bizarre talk show.
"Oh come on Regina, what have you got to lose?" Clearly Mary Margaret wasn't too fazed with the threat, since she didn't let up, her hopeful eyes and dopey smile still on at full blast.
"My time and my mental sanity?" Regina dryly quipped. "Why would I want to seek help from someone who hides behind a pseudonym?"
Mary Margaret frowned. "A pseudonym? What makes you say that?"
Regina let out a scoff. Typical of her friend, taking everything at face value. "No one can have such a perfect name as Emma Swan, perfect for romantics since swans mate for life. Not to mention that I checked the census, there's no one with that name living here. Ever. In fact, the station's ownership is under the name Ruby Lucas, the gossipmonger waitress at Granny's Diner. She also hosts the weekly events hour on that radio show. So either Ms. Lucas disguises her voice and pretends to be this Emma Swan, or there's someone living here illegally in this town."
"For someone who hates this radio station, you certainly have done your homework," the schoolteacher quipped, a knowing smirk on her face.
"I didn't say I hated the station, I just think the advice show is bogus. And in a town like Storybrooke, it's not like we have many options regarding radio station varieties," Regina was quick to retort. "I'm just taking a vested interest in this town, as part of my role as mayor. Plus, I have Henry, what more could I need?"
It was true that the son she had adopted a few years ago, after her last attempt at romance fizzed, was the light of her life, but clearly, her friend still thought she should get back into it.
"Sure, whatever you want to believe, Regina." Nonetheless, when Mary Margaret held out the card with the radio's number, Regina begrudgingly took it.
"Maybe the problem is that you've both forgotten what attracted you both to each other in the first place. Remind him of that, hold a romantic dinner and enjoy yourselves. Just because you're domesticated doesn't mean the fire has to die out, okay?"
The man on the other end of the line seemed ecstatic. "Yeah, that sounds perfect, thank you so much, Emma!"
"Not a problem. Wish you all the best!" Emma pressed the 'Call End' button on her console and spoke one more into the microphone. "Got a burning question about your own love life? Call me now and we can figure out whatever conundrum you've got. Meanwhile, here's a fresh hit for you."
Emma turned her mic off and sighed, segueing onto the song. Lately, Storybrooke's love scene was greatly lacking in problems. She should be happy, it meant that the people were more satisfied, and their love lives were flourishing, but it also meant that Emma had plenty less callers.
When the phone rang, she scrambled to answer it, hoping it wasn't a prank caller. "Welcome to Storybrooke's Advice Hour, I'm Emma, are you calling for love advice?"
"No, I was calling because I decided to spend my remaining monthly quote of minutes," a very bored voice deadpanned.
Emma wasn't offended, and responded, "Alright then, glad you decided to spend your minutes with me then. I'm oddly flattered. Also, you're not on air, so you also don't have to disguise your voice."
"If it's all the same to you, I'd stay like this," the caller curtly said. Then, as if thinking about it, she added, "Why did you answer the call if you're not on air then?"
"Prank callers," Emma succinctly explained. "Now, if you want to hold for a minute, I'll get back on air and you can tell me all about your dilemma."
Regina was most definitely not doing this. Waiting on line to tell a perfect stranger her romantic problems. But she was, she so was.
"Alright, and we have a caller waiting on the line, so give a warm welcome to caller number 5! Caller, you're on the air."
"…Hi," Regina awkwardly greeted.
She heard an innocent chuckle. "Hey! Alright, so fire away! What ails your romantic life?"
Letting out a deep sigh, she gave a shaky laugh. "Where to begin. My friend actually was the one who insisted I come here, she seems to believe you can help."
"And you're sceptic of that fact?" the host responded, sounding amused.
Regina let out a strangled noise. "Well I wasn't ready to put much stock on a helpline."
"Oh but this is much better than that! But I digress. Your problem?"
"It's been a while since I've been on a date," Regina blurted. She was so thankful there was no visual part to this, because she felt her cheeks flame just by saying the words. "My last three attempts at having a love life ended rather disastrously. I thought it must be something with me, so I just gave up on that, and decided to live my life without it. However, said friend thinks that my life is lacking, and that I should get back into it."
"Well, as a hopeless romantic myself, and a self-proclaimed giver of love advice, I'm all for it, you might find yourself wanting it, should you find the right partner. And even then, you can experiment, get yourself out there as 'single and ready to mingle'."
"Yes well, I'm afraid I don't really know how to go about it. I'm just afraid to get hurt again." She wasn't sure how detailed she could get, but she was sure the host would get the idea.
It seemed her message got through. "Gotcha. I still think that your best method would be to try it out. Go to the Rabbit Hole and try to flirt, or maybe make a dating profile and see if you make meaningful conversation. Give people a chance to surprise you. It won't do you any good to be afraid."
Regina sighed, gritting her teeth. "I'm not afraid. And don't you think I've tried that? I wouldn't be here if it was so simple, now would I?"
"True, but I can't know what you have or haven't done. And perhaps for starters, biting other people's heads off won't really help you in that department."
Letting out an indignant huff, she hung up. How did this woman dare to say something like that to her? As if she was some kind of idiot.
Back in the studio, Emma was left blinking. So much for that. "Well listeners, I guess that was that! Caller number 5 has hung up, and we are near the end of the hour, so I will leave you playing some tunes for the night. Good night, and until tomorrow!"
After signing off, she trudged up to the loft glumly. It was the first time someone had rejected her advice and hung up on her, and she didn't know how to feel about it. Sure, she could've been a bit more diplomatic about it, but the lady didn't need to get snippy and hang up.
The next day, Regina was a woman on a mission. After dropping off Henry at school, she walked over to Storybrooke Radio, making her way to the door. Much to her surprise, it was locked. She tried to bang on the door, but no avail.
Grumbling, she whipped out her cellphone, and tapped the radio app. She tuned in to the station, and heard the supposed Emma Swan talking.
Exiting the app, she tried to again see if she could force the door open. Nothing.
"Morning, Madam Mayor!" Regina gave an uncharacteristic little yelp and jerked her head to the sound. Sidney Glass.
"Mr. Glass! What are you doing here?"
Sidney bounced on the balls of his feet, hands clasped behind him. The town's newspaper editor was quite an odd man, but harmless really. He was like a lost and misguided puppy. "I'm just walking around, searching for a good story. And yourself? Trying to get inside the mysterious radio station?"
Regina was prepared to deny it, but then she thought better. The next best person to consult in terms of gossip was the man who saw everything and reported diligently.
"Actually, yes, I was a bit curious on the host, this Emma Swan."
"Tell me about it." Sidney chuckled. "You and the rest of the town are befuddled. She just showed up one time about four years ago, and no one has ever seen her in all that time."
"You're telling me that in four years, no one has even seen a hair of her?" Regina found that hard to believe. Not even in movies were people that good. Everyone slipped up somehow.
"Not a one."
"That's impossible."
Sidney chortled. "Impossible to you, but believe me, I once tried to stake out the place for two days. Only one who came in or out was Ruby Lucas."
Regina slowly turned her calculating eyes to the station once more. "Intriguing. Thank you Sidney."
The older gentleman gave a bit of a bow and left. Under her breath, Regina muttered, "I think it's time to uncover what exactly is going on with this radio station, and who exactly Emma Swan is."
Leaving, Regina was headed to the diner. She needed answers, so that's what she would get, one way or another.
Once inside the establishment, Regina saw that thankfully, the place was through with the rush, and the few patrons there didn't seem to be in any hurry, so she could monopolize one waitress' time. She walked over to the counter, and sat down, grabbing a menu, taking a disinterested gander at the fare being offered.
"Good morning Madam Mayor, can I take your order?" Perfect, Ruby was standing right behind the counter, a thousand-watt smile on her face, ready for Regina to start her subtle questioning.
"You know, I think I'll just have a coffee," Regina said, putting the menu down. "Afterwards, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions?"
"Sure! Let me get your coffee and I'll be right back," Ruby nodded and went to fetch the coffee pot, as well as a mug with the logo for Granny's Diner emblazed on it.
She poured the generic coffee sludge onto the cup, and Regina made a mental note to not actually drink any of it if she still wanted her intestines intact.
"Alright, what's on your mind?" Ruby asked, setting the mug in front of her and looking expectant, hands splayed over the counter.
"That radio station of yours..." she began inconspicuously. But even then, the waitress' demeanour shifted ever so slightly.
"What about it?"
Regina continued as if she didn't notice. "I've been curious on the station host, Emma Swan...I haven't seen her around town."
Ruby gave a tentative quirk of her lips, clearly trying to appear nonchalant. "Oh yeah, she keeps to herself really."
"Is that so? Must be quite something if no one has ever seen her in four years?" Regina countered, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh I'm sure that's not the case," Ruby was quick to respond, shaking her head ever so slightly.
"If that's true, why do I not have any record of an Emma Swan living in this town?"
Regina had her there, and Ruby closed her mouth in resignation. Something wasn't right here. Still, she pressed. "Is there any chance I can meet her? I'm finding myself intrigued by Storybrooke's mysterious, and apparently illegal, resident."
Ruby shook her head. "Not much of a chance, she's a bit reclusive."
"Reclusive is one thing, dear, another is to refuse to meet with anyone and live their life in total isolation."
"She'd rather not meet. It's a personal preference." Ruby was now sporting a frown, resolute in her answer. She was really not comfortable with the direction this questioning took.
"Very well then." Regina placed a few bills for the coffee and a tip - considering she did take the waitress' time, even though it was for naught - and left the diner, the still full mug on the counter, in front of a very worried Ruby.
And that's this chapter for today!
Regina's very determined to see this Emma who pushed her buttons...which is easier said than done.
I hope everyone enjoyed this first chapter!
Also, to remain true to the whole radio host vibe, chapters will be named after songs, and if you want, you can have a listen to the playlist with all the songs, the link's over on my profile by clicking through to my 8tracks. Not too spoiler-y, but if you want, you can just listen after the fic's complete!