Based on a prompt sent to me by barmy-owl on tumblr: Ron and Hermione buy three wheels and give Harry the third one to see if takes the hint. Also Ginny has a new picnic basket and won't stop talking about it.
Harry entered the crowded pub and let out a string of curses as he unwound the scarf around his neck. The heavy snow outside had him in a foul mood, not to mention the fact that Ginny was supposed to have returned from Ukraine yesterday but missed her portkey and was delayed by several hours. The only things keeping him sane were his two best friends who seemed to be engaged in a heated 'debate'. Hermione's word, not his.
They stopped as soon as they noticed him, but continued to shoot each other meaningful glares. He plopped down at their table and swiped Ron's Butterbeer from him.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"What were you two bickering about this time?" he asked exasperatedly.
"Ah…" Ron awkwardly fumbled for words while Hermione just rolled her eyes.
"Never mind that, Harry," she said dismissively. "Ginny home yet?"
"No. She missed her portkey. She should be here in about an hour. Although there's no telling how long she'll stay."
"She's been gone a lot lately, huh? You must miss her," Hermione said sympathetically.
"Yeah, she had one free night, what, a month ago?" Harry replied sullenly.
"26 days," Ron supplied promptly, much to Harry's bewilderment. "I mean, give or take a few…"
Hermione cleared her throat, throwing Ron another withering glare.
"Yes, speaking of missing -"
"We got you a present!" Ron said brightly, cutting her off mid-sentence.
Hermione narrowed her eyes and spoke louder
"As I was saying, ever since –"
"Here you go!" he slapped down a parcel on the table.
"Ron! You are being-"
"Go ahead and open it!"
"This is ridiculous."
"Ah, I'll just open it for ya, mate," Ron began tearing up the brown paper.
Harry almost got a whiplash from trying to keep up with both of them. Ron continued to tear up the package determinedly and Hermione put her head in her hands with an exasperated noise, mumbling something about it being the worst idea he ever had.
"Aha!" Ron triumphantly held up the contents of the parcel, three black wheels. Ron set one in front of Hermione and one in front of himself, then held out the third one to Harry.
Feeling mounting confusion, Harry reached out to take it from him. Ron was looking at him expectantly, while Hermione cast anxious glances between them.
"Uh, thanks?" replied Harry, only feeling more perplexed when their faces fell.
"I told you he wouldn't get it," Hermione nearly hissed at Ron who looked disappointedly down at his own wheel.
Brows furrowed, Harry examined the wheel in hands, trying to understand what they were trying to tell him. Looking up at them, he saw them trying to have a conversation through looks and glances alone. He looked between them and then down at the wheel and felt his confusion begin to ebb. His eyes widened comically and he gasped out loud.
"The third wheel!"
They immediately ceased their silent exchange in favour of casting him an apprehensive look.
"Now Harry, don't be upset," Hermione began, but Harry cut her off.
"Upset? Why would I be upset? I get it now!"
"You do?" Ron asked dubiously.
"Yeah mate. Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"
"Well-"
"Although I have to admit, the wheel is kind of genius."
"It is?" Hermione put in, incredulously while Ron puffed out his chest and gave her a superior look.
"I'm so happy for you two," said Harry, almost near tears.
"Uh, you're not angry?"
"Are you mental? Why the bloody hell would I be angry?"
"Well, we thought…maybe…" Ron rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"Well, you thought wrong, didn't you?" he playfully slapped Ron's back. "I couldn't be happier!"
"Uh, Harry?"
"I mean, back in first year, if anyone had told me that you two would one day be married and expecting a kid, I would've never believed them," Harry went on excitedly. "But here you are, starting a family!"
"Wha-"
"Although Hermione, do you think the butterbeer is such a good idea?" he said, suddenly noticing the half empty glass of drink in front of her.
"Harry, I'm not-"
"Yes! Yes. She's pregnant. And she shouldn't be drinking." Ron declared loudly and accidentally spilled the butterbeer all over the table in his haste to remove the offending item from her possession.
Hermione merely closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here.
"Have you told your mum yet?" Harry asked, only slightly puzzled by their odd behaviour.
"Uh, no! No we haven't," replied Ron, pulling out his wand to Scourgify the tabletop.
"Well, good luck with that. I don't want to be around when you do," he said, chuckling. Molly had the tendency to go a bit overboard.
Ron gave him a weak smile, but Hermione seemed to have had enough.
"I'm getting a headache. I think we should go home. Ron?" she looked at him pointedly.
Harry looked at her, surprised as she suddenly stood up to leave.
Ron looked flustered and nodded.
"Bye Harry," she said with a tight smile, and began walking out without even waiting for Ron to pull on his coat.
"Don't mind her, Harry. You know, hormones," said Ron, and Harry nodded in understanding. Unfortunately, Hermione wasn't quite out of hearing distance yet and she came back to drag Ron out by his ear.
"See ya later, mate," Harry called out after him and chuckled to himself.
"Harry, I'm trying to tell you something here!" Ginny cried, looking extremely put out.
Harry had been going on and on about Ron and Hermione and had missed several anvil-sized hints she'd been throwing out. She had woken up rather early to prepare for the day despite having had a late night. Harry however, wasn't picking up on her mood or her hints.
"Right! There's a bun in the oven, you've only said it about ten times. I've got it Gin! I'm getting it, see?" he replied, walking to the kitchen.
Ginny smacked her forehead, exasperated. Her husband was completely clueless. She was going to have to go with something even more obvious.
So an hour later found her trying to convince Harry to go on a picnic with her.
"Did I tell you about how they told me?" he was saying for about the fifth time that day. "They were so flustered. But the wheel was a brilliant idea!"
"Harry, look! I brought a new picnic basket," Ginny tried in vain, to get her husband's attention.
"That's nice, Gin. Oh, you should've seen Ron's face when he handed me the wheel, he looked like he was about to explode."
"It's called a barrel picnic basket, perfect for a great outdoor experience!" she said dramatically. And not a little desperately.
"He was so red. And he was sweating too. The wheel-"
"Argh, will you shut up about the wheel already? What on earth is so great about a bloody wheel, Harry? I'm trying to tell you I'm pregnant!" she finally cried.
Harry gaped at her like a fish out of water. For a long, long time. She tapped her foot impatiently.
"Well? Are you going to say someth-?"
The rest of the sentence got lost in the sudden kiss he planted on her lips. He lifted her off her feet and let out a whoop as he twirled her around.
After much laughter and tears, they finally calmed down enough to talk coherently again.
"I was beginning to think you wouldn't notice until I actually gave birth!" said Ginny, breathlessly. "I was going to wait for you to open the picnic basket and discover for yourself, but I don't think you would've gotten the hint anyway."
"Hey, I'm really good at getting hints!" he protested.
"Is that so? Because I really don't see how I could've been any clearer than the bun in the oven reference," she said, reaching into the picnic basket to pull out the box of sandwiches from under a tiny Holyhead Harpies onesie.
"Oh!"
"Yeah, oh," she replied wryly, helping herself to a bacon sarnie.
"I'm sorry. I was just excited for Ron and Hermione," he grinned. "Hey, this means both you and Hermione are pregnant!"
"Yes. Um… about that, love," she began hesitantly. "Why do you think they handed you a wheel, of all things?"
"Don't worry, I was confused too. But it's obvious once you get it,"
"Oh?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.
"Yeah. Wheels represent the circle of life, right? And they handed me the third wheel. You know, baby makes three?" he explained to her with an air of knowledge and confidence.
Ginny nodded slowly with her lips pursed. Those cowards.
"I see. So obvious."
Harry nodded, looking rather cocky.
"We should floo over and tell them our news," she replied with a smirk.