If you know how to play chess, this story will be funny and enjoyable. If you don't know how to play chess, it'll still be pretty funny.

"Ha!" Classified shouted.

"Ha!" Corporal shouted back.

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Shut up!" Short Fuse yelled. "I don't care who won your stupid thumb-wrestling match!"

"Well you wouldn't, you don't have thumbs," Classified commented.

"And I won!" Corporal announced. "Ha."

"No, I won. Ha."

"I won, ha!"

"Ha!"

"Ha!"

"Vat's the point!" Eva shouted suddenly looking up from her game of Minesweeper on the computer. "Play again, let's see who vins."

"Don't encourage them!" Short Fuse yelled.

"It's on!" Classified shouted, slamming his fist on the table. Corporal did the same and resumed another thumb-wrestling match, Short Fuse watching them in annoyance as Eva turned back to her game. The match was over in several seconds, when Corporal won, pinning down Classified thumb.

"I win!" he exclaimed in excitement.

"No you don't, I'm your leader, I decide who wins," Classified said, shaking his thumb and trying to get feeling back into it after Corporal had crushed it. "And I say that I win. Ha."

"But I won!" Corporal argued.

"Calm down boys, I know how to settle zis," Eva said, once again turning away from the computer.

"How?!" the wolf, bear, and seal asked simultaneously.

It was clear several minutes later, when Corporal and Classified sat at the table, a chess board in the middle of them. Classified frowned and moved a Pawn on a board.

"Is it gonna work?" Short Fuse whispered (that is, if he could whisper) at Eva.

"How should I know, I'm not an expert," she replied, then smiled. "No, wait, I am."

Short Fuse mumbled something under his breath in disapproval and turned to watch the game, as Corporal moved a Pawn of his own on the board.

This scene went on for several minutes in silence, until Corporal managed to get one of Classified's Pawns out.

"Ha!" he exclaimed. The wolf frowned, and immediately counter the bears action and got out one of Corporal's Pawns.

"Ha!" Classified exclaimed.

It was several minutes, and several Pawns, later that Classified got out the first 'important piece'. He knocked Corporal's knight off the board with a satisfying 'Ha!'

Corporal looked at the board steadily, and then moved his rook in the direction of Classified's King.

"Check," he said in satisfactory.

"Not check," Classified countered, taking out Corporal's rook with a Bishop. "Ha!"

"Ha," Corporal mumbled.

The game went on for about twenty more minutes until all the pieces left on the board were Corporal's Knights, Classified's Bishops, and of course, thier Kings and Queens.

"How's Corporal going to manage loosing?" Short Fuse whispered to Eva.

"He's probably not going to lose, he's doing pretty good." Eva commented.

The chess match continued for several more minutes, until all that was left on the board was the Kings and Queens. Corporal took his turn, moving his queen.

"Check!" he exclaimed in great satisfaction. "Ha!"

Classified looked at the board, his face in a frown as he searched for a good move. He saw one and smiled widely. He took his queen and moved.

"Check," Classified said, as Corporal looked back down at the board for another move.

The bear moved his King out if the way and looked on at the wolf for the next. Classified, in a quick swift movement, took his queen and moved it across the board.

"CHECKMATE!" Classified shouted, in success. "I win, because no one wins against the leader!"

Short Fuse clapped his flippers as Corporal looked at Classified in a rising anger.

"GRAAAAAGH!" Corporal shouted in frustration. He smashed his fist in the table, breaking the chess board. Short Fuse's clap got slower and Eva burst into laughter. The bear pulled back his paw in embarrassment.

"Ha?" Corporal said, as Classified looked at him with a frown.

Thank you, I don't own any of the characters. Please review!