I don't own Hetalia. Everyone knows that though. These disclaimers are actually rather pointless. Anyways, enjoy the crappy story!

The time was... I guess now... Yeah!

After the various wars that America had gone through, he was very hungry, and his men were as well. Problem was, America's soldiers were deported all over the world, so they developed many different taste buds. For example:

Italy, WWII

"Oh man, I'm kinda hungry."

"Dude, we all are!" 2 American solders were standing guard at a building they had just taken over as a base.

"Well, my brotha's, I think I have just the thing for you!" America walked up the the men standing guard and held up a plate.

"Woah! What is that stuff?"

"I dunno, but when I stayed with Britain, he told me that Italy was a very good cook. I'm more inclined towards a good burger, so here."

"*Nom* Hey, this is pretty good!"

"We got stuff like this at home, right?"

"Uhh..."

Yeah, like that.

"Eitherway, America didn't have the tastebuds that matched the cuisine of other countries, so he had to take some things from the other cuisine and change it up a bit. Much to the discontent of the other nations.

"Yo, Italy! Romania!"

"It's-a Romano you dumb-f*ck-a!"

"Oh, hey America! Do you-a need something?"

"Dudes, check it! I got something I think you'll like!"

"Um, alright, but it-a better not be another-a god damn Mario Game! Japan showed me and Italy, saying he modeled it after my-a glorious MOOSTACHE-A!"

"Uh, no. You guys are gonna dig this!" America took the brothers and brought them into his house.

"So, you know how you guys eat pizza and spaghetti and stuff?"

"Che?"

"Well, I made something wonderful so that you guys don't have to bust your backs making pizza dough and shredding cheese and stuff!"

"But, cooking is-a the fun part-a!" Italy pouted, but Romano was interested.

"Wait, I can-a do less work-a! Tell me! TELL-A ME ABOUT THIS-A WONDERFUL DISCOVERY!" Romano was smiling as he saw America go into his freezer, and pulled out a flat box with a picture of a pizza on it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... FROZEN PIZZA!" America held the box in front of Romano and Italy.

"...What-a the f*ck is-a that?"

"Ve~?"

"Dude, it's pizza! Here, lemme show you how you make it." America opened the box and popped out a hard pizza."

"So basically, it's-a rock pizza with-a no fresh ingredients?" Romano was scowling, as he saw America pop the pizza into the oven. He turned the oven on for 20 minutes, and turned to Romano.

"C'mon man, it's still pizza!"

"Fratello, as least he's-a not doing anything to pasta!"

"Actually, I made it easier to make italian food too!"

"Che!?"

"But first, we gotta eat some of this awesome pizza!"

"Well, what-a the hell do we do while we-a wait?"

"We can always play video games."

"Fine, what do you-a have?"

"Well, I got this game called Great Robbery of Cars."

"America, that's-a just a bad rip off of Grand Theft Au-"

"Shut up! We can't talk about proper copyright! At least, not without China!"

"Well, let's-a just play!" America turned the game on, and gave Italy and Romano controllers. Romano got the hang of the game pretty quickly, but Italy just plain sucked.

"Ve~ how do I-a shoot the rocket-a launchers?"

"You-a need to click this button, idioso!"

"Oh. How do I carjack?"

"You click that button while near the car, dude."

"Ah. How do I-"

"SHUDDUP-A!"

*Ding*

"Oh, the pizza's ready dudes!" America paused the game, and ran into the kitchen. He got a plate, and took the pizza out from the oven. As he put the pizza on the plate, Romano looked at the pizza.

"Well, it looks-a more appetizing now, I guess. I-a still say it will taste-a bad!"

"Ve~ Romano! You-a might like it though!"

"Yeah! C'mon, let's eat!" America cut the pizza with scissors, and gave a slice to Romano and Italy.

"*Nom* It-a doesn't taste-a too bad, right Fratello?"

"*Nom*" Romano chewed the pizza, closing his eyes and taking note of every bit of flavor.

"So, how do you like it?"

"America, I'm-a surprised! It isn't as bad as I thought!"

"Really!?"

"No... Its-a WORSE! I mean, the ingredient's aren't fresh at all, the meat has preservatives you-a can taste, the vegetables aren't-a juicy, and the pizza dough tastes like a PUTTANA'S VAGI-"

"Fratello, this is a T rated-a story! You-a can't say that!"

"So what? There was hentai references-a in the one where China-"

"Dude! This is good pizza!"

"It's-a not fresh! I demand-a fresh pizza!"

"Fine dude, just chill. Imma tell you what. I'll call up a pizzaria, and you guys can have some freshly made pizza!"

"Ah, Pizzaria? Me and my idiot-a brother have those at-a home too! I hope you don't-a f*ck this up" Romano gave America the phone, and watched with Italy as America called up a pizza place.

"Hello? Pizza Cottage? Yeah, it's Alfred again. Can I get the usual please? With extra cheese please? Thanks dude! Okay, the pizza's coming soon!"

"I heard that if we don't-a get it in 30 minutes, it's-a free."

"That's right dude!"

"I say we-a cover your front pavement in-a tar so he get's stuck in it!"

"I tried before dude, and they know that I'm cheap. Nowadays, they just send Japan to deliver the pizzas."

"What? Why-a would they do-a that? Ve-"

"He's a ninja, and he gets the pizza here super fast. In fact, the pizza should be on the table just about now." Romano and Italy turned to the dining table, and saw that there were 2 flat boxes on the table, with steam coming out of them.

"Well, it-a smells better."

"Dudes, have you ever tried a New York Style Pizza?"

"Che cosa?"

"Well, it's a flat crust pizza, and you gotta fold it to eat it."

"Sounds-a dumb."

"It's not dude. And it's WAY better than frozen pizza."

"Well, anything is-a better than that-a crapola!"

"Dude, just try the pizza! I know you're gonna love it!" America opened the first box and revealed a pizza pie with cheese and pepperoni.

"Nice and simple-a, with-a no vegetables for you to-a ruin, huh?"

"Eat the damn pizza Romano!" America started eating a slice with happiness, while Romano eyed the pizza.

"I've only seen so much-a cheese on one of my sicilian-a pizzas, and there was enough crust to balance that out, But this, are you-a trying to gorge me to-a death on this pizza?"

"Ve- it's not-a to bad! At least there's no cheese in-a the crust!" Italy ate the pizza unti he had the crust left. When he bit in, he was disappointed.

"There is-a cheese? Aww..."

"Dude, the cheese in the crust is awesome! You gotta try it Romano!"

"No, I-a refuse to eat this! My pizza is-a way better than your pizza!"

"Like hell it is! Fine, then try this!" America reached into the second box, and pulled out what appeared to be a piece of pie. Pie filled with tomato sauce, cheese and pepperoni.

"What-a the f*ck is-a that!?"

"It's a Chicago Deep Dish Pizza! It's like an actual pie made of pizza!" America gave the slice to Romano, and Romano only looked at it before refusing it.

"Are you-a trying to-a give me diabetes!?"

"Fine then, more for me then!" America took the slice and started eating it.

"You're pizza is-a so weird!"

"Um, America?"

"Oh, Italy, you were so quiet most of the time. You okay bro?" America saw Italy flinch nervously.

"Well, I couldn't-a help but-a think, what did-a you do with-a pasta?"

"Oh, well my man, I got just the thing for you!" America reached into the cabinet and pulled out a can.

"I give you, SPAGHETTI-OS!" Romano spoke up

"Wait, so Spaghetti-os is-a the only thing we-a don't censor?"

"America, what's-a in that can?"

"Dude, pasta!"

"But, you need to boil it!"

"Not anymore dude!" America opened the can and put it into the microwave. He heated the can and gave it to Italy."

"Um, I don't-a think I want to-a try this, ve~"

"Just-a try it! I had to-a suffer through 3 kinds of pizza mutilation!"

"Well, I guess that-a it won't kill me." Italy picked up a fork with spaghetti-os on it, and moved it closer to his mouth.

5 Minutes Later

"VAFFUNCULO PUTTANA! VAI ALL'INFERNO! NON MI PIACE! PERCHE AMERICA!?" Italy was throwing the can's contents at America, who was dodging them as fast as he could.

"Dude, I never saw Italy this angry!"

"I only-a saw this-a go down once! When Turkey took his-a pasta when Italy was with that Holy Roman Empire bastardo!"

"V-A-F-F! CULO!" Italy was running towards America, ready to punch him.

"Italy, stop-a this right-a now!" Romano was trying to hold Italy back, and lifted him up over his shoulders."

"You grease ball! I'll-a rip out your intestines and make a better pasta then that mierda! And I'll-a use your blood as sauce!" Romano pulled Italy out of the house and left. Even as they left the house, America could hear Italy screaming.

"Mierda, Romano! It tasted just like it!"

"It's-a okay brother. The mean man won't-a hurt us anymore-a." America sat down on is couch.

"Whew! Man, I never knew Italy could go so ape on me like that! I gotta watch some TV to forget that!" America turned the TV on and started to watch a show called Game of Chairs, a horrible parody of Game of Thrones. Then, a commercial turned on for a place called Panda Express. America looked at the TV, and started smiling. He picked up the phone and waited."

*Ring Ring*

"Wei?"

"Yo, China! You gotta come over! I need to show you something awesome!"