A/N: well, here's my new fic…..I guess you could say it's a sorta combo betwixt and between the movie and the cartoon Beetlejuice. I'm gonna try and stay faithful to both, but please don't get upset or whatever if I deviate from the plot.

Maybe just offer constructive criticism. That'd be cool. Anyway, be prepared for fluff, oodles of clichés, some dirty immature humor, and perhaps, and this is a big perhaps as I'm not too sure yet, some hardcore smut.

I'd also like to point out this is the first het non slash thing I've written, but the lil plot bunny just wouldn't leave me alone. Seriously. I think it was stalking me. Happens all the time. I've gotten used to it, being followed by fuzzy lil plot bunnies each one begging for attention and each one cuter than the last. Ah well, cest la vie.(I hope I spelled that right, French is not my forte)

Lydia stared into the bathroom mirror, trying desperately not to peek at the little stick of plastic in the container on the edge of the sink. Like if she did, she'd ruin it. The seconds ticked by, ever so slowly, until the alarm jangled, signaling the allotted time had passed. She let out an undignified little yelp of surprise, nearly dropping the timer. The jury was ready to read the verdict out. Guilty or not. Though they all knew it was so much more than that.

Equal parts dread and excitement mingled and rolled together in the pit of her stomach, making her feel like throwing up, crying and giggling all at once. Lydia however, was not enjoying the sensation. Steeling herself, forcing her hand not to shake, she opened the lid and read the answer. The answer that would change their lives if positive, and be something of a disappointment if negative. Though, and here she smiled wickedly, they could always keep trying. Her dark brown eyes widened as she read the word printed oh so neatly in the little window.

Pregnant.

Outside the bathroom, he jumped as her heard an excited whoop. A grin curled up the corner of his lips, and he braced himself as the door flew open and he was tackled, her arms about his neck. She kissed him on each cheek while she spoke.

"Honey" *Kiss* "Oh honey, we" *Kiss* "Are" *Kiss kiss* "Pregnant!"

"Are we really Lydia?" he asked, teasing her. Lydia stepped back, looking at him through a veil of her long black hair, arching an eyebrow. "Ollie, would I honestly be out here kissing you like this if we weren't? You think I like to proclaim something like that for kicks?" "I don't know, you might. You've always been a little odd," he kissed her forehead as he said it, his hazel eyes soft and looking at her fondly. "If I'm a little odd, you're positively weird, sticking around me so long," Lydia grinned. "It's 'cause I love you so much," Ollie answered. She shoved his shoulder lightly, before twining her hands in his soft brown hair. "I love you too," she pulled him in for a kiss.

Lydia Deetz and Oliver "Ollie" Hawkins had met in college in a photography course, both in their freshman year. They had been assigned the same film developing station, and sparks had flown over the chemicals. Upon graduation, Ollie had proposed. He had been sure she would say yes, but she had hesitated. She wanted to marry him so much, but, she wasn't sure how he would react to her 'little secret'. Her rowdy, raunchy, live wire of a little secret in a black and white striped suit.

So, never one to lie about something so huge, Lydia sat down with Ollie over coffee, and gave him the full story. Everything from the first meeting at the Maitland's, to a year later when she'd called him again, near desperate for a companion, to all the years of friendship that followed. And he sat there, listening intently, sipping his coffee. He'd asked for a few days to soak it all in, while she waited nervously. Would he believe her, would he think her crazy? Would he dump her? He did none of them; instead he took it in stride, believing her. He had always been open to such things, and Lydia wouldn't lie to him. And if she would, she wouldn't come up with something so outlandish. Lydia had never been more relieved. Although Ollie's acceptance often made her wonder what she had done to deserve him. He was perfect.

The two had been married a year after graduating from college, in October, and moved back to Lydia's hometown of Peaceful Pines. And now, three years later, they were going to have a baby! Neither of them could be happier. There was just one thing to take care of. Well, two actually. Not only did Lydia have to talk to her best friend, she had to decide if she would stay at work. She had been asked to be a sort of counselor for the dead, as she had an affinity for them, and help them through the process of being dead. It was Juno's idea, but with the coming baby…

"Are you going to tell him?" Ollie asked. He had never met him. According to Lydia, he hadn't taken it well her getting married to Ollie. Something about losing his best friend really upset him, and hearing how well she got along with Ollie, well, that was just the icing on the cake. They hadn't seen much of each other since, not really. "I suppose I should, shouldn't I? He's so not going to be happy though. Not even for me, of if I tell him he can be like, godfather or something," Lydia sighed, brushing her hair from her face. "Sorry hun. But still, he deserves to know, doesn't he?"Ollie said coaxingly. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll be in a bit." "I'll stay inside. Don't want to give him a reason to be angry." "True, very true. He never gets angry at me, but you, he would have no issue with. And you don't want that. You really don't." "Just be careful Lyd."

Ollie watched Lydia carefully make her way outside. On the rare times she met with him, it was usually outside on the rope and wood board swing they had hanging from the thickest branch of the tallest maple tree outside. As the weather was warm still, that's where she went now. She moved so gracefully, giving no sign that she was carrying a little person in her belly; not even a belly bump showed under her over sized t-shirt that she wore for pajamas in the summer. He personally couldn't wait to see, though he knew she'd start to get annoyed with it after awhile, and then the cravings and such. Ollie would relish it. Strange but true.

Lydia perched on the swing, arms looped about the ropes supporting it. Vines were starting to climb up them, giving it a soft, earthy scent that calmed her no matter what. Some days she'd just sit and watch the vines creep over her hands as she held them outspread. But not tonight. Tonight, she tilted her head back to see the moon floating through the brushed velvet sky alight with glitter and sparkles, and opened herself to the night. Her voice started off low at first, rising in strength with each uttered phrase.

"Though I know I should be wary, still I venture someplace scary. Ghostly hauntings I turn loose, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!!!"

The air seemed to shift and ripple, and the wind whipped her hair around her face. She heard him before she saw him, a wild cackling laugh. "Beginning to think you'd forgotten me Babes," Beetlejuice popped out of thin air and landed in front of Lydia. A snap of the fingers and a swing next to her appeared and he plopped himself down on it. "Now, you know I could never forget you Beej," Lydia grinned at him fondly. "I know but would it kill ya to call? I'm lonely over there by myself," he pulled a sad face in an attempt to coax her to visit more often. Lydia bit her lip, nervous for the first time in a long time around him. She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth slightly, looking at her knees. "Lyds? What's up Babes?" Beetlejuice noticed something was bothering his friend. "BJ, I'm not too sure I'll be able to visit much more," she said softly.

Well, if that didn't hit like a ton of bricks. She hardly visited anyway. Now she might stop completely? He stole a glance at her, noticing the soft little grin she wore, how she seemed to be drifting in a daze as she kicked back and forth on the swing, scuffing up little puffs of dust from where the grass had worn away from years of feet dragging. He fidgeted on his swing, knowing she would elaborate eventually, but struggling with his impatience all the same. In the mean time, he looked down the hill to her parents' old house, empty and cloaked in dust now that they had moved out, moved to New York. The silence stretched out, longer and longer until Beetlejuice thought he would go crazy…or well, crazier.

"I'm pregnant."

Literally, Beetlejuice's jaw hit the ground with a thud. He picked it up, slamming it into place again. "You're what? Pregnant? Like, going to have a baby? You, and…and…him?!" Beetlejuice gestured wildly towards the house, where Ollie was inside waiting, hopefully with ice cream. "Yeah, me and him. A baby. A little person," Lydia smiled down at her stomach, where her son or daughter was growing.

Saying Beej was less than pleased would have been an understatement.

"Great, just great! What about me Babes? Just gonna toss me aside for this new set up you got? Years of friendship gone, down the toilet, just like that? Just for your darling hubby and this new little 'bundle of joy'?" he air quoted. "Don't use air quotes at me! And, I mean, I was going to ask you to be like, god father, or Uncle Beej, if you wanted," Lydia murmured. He scoffed, a harsh grating sound. "That's it? Thought I'd be fine with just playing Uncle BJ, showing up at Christmas and birthdays, listening to the screaming whining little thing?" "I'd though, that since you're my best friend…" "Oh really? Am I Lydia?" He used her whole first name, never a good sign.

It spiraled out of control from there, and she banished him, before storming inside, tears standing out in her eyes. "He's not going to meet the baby. I'm not talking to him ever again!" she swore vehemently. "I take it things didn't go well?" Ollie asked gently. "No, not at all. He just couldn't accept that I wouldn't be able to see him much. My life doesn't revolve around him. So, we just won't tell the baby about him. Ever," Lydia urged. Ollie could have protested that she'd maybe change her mind in the morning, but she was upset. She'd basically just broken up with her best friend. He couldn't argue with her. Not now.

And so the months passed. Lydia's stomach rounded out until she couldn't see her feet anymore, and she was forced to deal with back aches, kicking from the baby, and weird cravings at all hours of the day and night. Until nine months were gone, and May fifth, Crowe Marie Hawkins was born. She looked just like her mother, but for her father's dark hazel eyes. She had tufts of fuzzy black hair, a button nose, and a ready smile. Until she was hungry and let it be known that she was. She was positively doted upon by both her parents, given toys and books, and when she was old enough, she was allowed to help decorate her room. Until, when she was ten her perfect happy little world came crashing down around her.

Ollie slouched across the desk in the attic, what he and Lydia liked…had liked to affectionately call The Tower. It was a combination office, dark room, nursery, ghostly therapy room, whatever they'd needed it to be. It had a sweeping view of all the lawn, and some of the bordering houses. Even with the windows open, the weak sunlight filtering through, it felt more like a dungeon than a tower. Ollie felt like he was suffocating, like he couldn't get a steady breath. Each gasp rattled in his lungs, and burned his eyes. The last of the funeral goers were trickling away, their grief left behind like some thick choking cloak, adding to his and Crowe's. Speaking of the little girl…

Crowe sat on the front steps, watching various relatives leave, her right leg in its thick white cast stretched out before her. As he watched, she picked up her short little crutches and hobbled into the house. She hadn't spoken since he'd brought her home. He knew she blamed herself for…for the accident. She felt that if she hadn't made sure Lydia made good on her promise of a girls' day out, the accident would never have happened. They would never have gotten smashed into by the flipped over 18 wheeler, which sent them spinning into oncoming traffic and stuck between the median and a fully loaded Hummer, upside down. Crowe wouldn't have nearly died…wouldn't have had to watch her mother die.

That had been roughly a month ago, and the month had been complete and utter hell on both of them. A rift formed between them, one bourn of silence and guilt filled eyes. What made it so much worse was that Lydia's 'patients' weren't taking it well that they no longer were getting the help they felt they deserved, and were turning malicious. Ollie started to believe the Crowe was sensitive to the spirits, and they frightened her, because she no longer wanted to sleep alone. Her simple, whispered explanation was that she missed her mommy, but he could see in her eyes, something scared her. And he would do anything, anything to protect her.

A scream tore Ollie from his melancholy musings, and he stumbled in his haste to reach the kitchen. Crowe was huddled under the kitchen table, arms over her head, as the china plates and bowls flew out of the cabinets and shattered into pieces against the floor, table, and walls. She looked like she'd gotten caught a few times, as blood trickled from her cheek and hand. "Daddy make it stop!" she cried plaintively, eyes screwed shut. "Stop! Stop it right now! Leave her alone!" Ollie yelled as forcefully as he could.

Mercifully, the china stopped, and fell to the ground, bursting into shards. He gathered his daughter up into his arms, rocking her, trying his best to calm and soothe her as she cried into his neck. He had to do something, anything, and the only one he could think of with the haunting in this state was him. Lydia had said to never ask him for help, he'd regret it. But what choice did he have? He had to protect Crowe.

In the Neitherworld, Beetlejuice scanned the business section (the obituaries to most people), not really expecting anything of interest. His eyes flicked back though to a familiar sounding name. "No, no no no no no! Lyds!" A heartbroken cry rose up from his chest, wrenching itself from his lips until it echoed off the walls. How could something like this have happened? His murky eyes read and re-read the article, not willing to believe it. A car accident. A flipped over big rig, slammed into the median and stuck between a Hummer, upside down. Daughter barely survived. What they failed to mention was where Lyds had gone. Beetlejuice would have liked to think that if she'd come to the Neitherworld, she'd come right away to him. Even if she was still mad at him after about ten years. But she hadn't. Which meant…which meant she had gone on…she didn't want him anymore, didn't need him. She'd forgotten him. Even though his heart didn't beat anymore, it could still break, and was breaking as he crumbled up the newspaper, and floated sadly to curl up on his couch.

If he slept, he didn't know. It seemed like no time had passed since he'd lain down, and suddenly he was awake, and hearing painfully familiar words chanted uncertainly. Someone was summoning him, and for a minute, just a minute, he thought it was Lydia. That it had been a cruel trick, and she was really alive still. But no. This voice was male. Beetlejuice followed it; he had no choice really, and appeared out of thin air in front of a haggard, but also familiar looking man.

Ollie took in the sight of the self proclaimed ghost with the most, questioning once more if this was the right decision. The man looked even more unkempt than Lydia had described, and in a state of great pain. He must've heard. Well of course he did, according to Lydia, the dead kept an eye on the living, and had their own grapevine and rumor mill.

"You! What do you want?" Beetlejuice spat. "I…I need your help. Desperately," Ollie answered pleadingly. The ghost snorted derisively. "My help? What could ya need my help for? Seem like you're doing just fine." They both glanced at the messy state of the Tower. "L-Lydia told me not to contact you, but I think you're the best for the job I need," Ollie plowed on despite the look in Beetlejuice's eye. "That so? And what job would that be?" "I need…the spirits she was helping have turned malicious, even attacking my daughter. I was wondering if you could remove them." "I'm guessing Lyds never told you. I'm a bio-exorcist. I get rid of the living. Why would I want to get rid of my own kind?" Beetlejuice leaned against the far wall, arms crossed across his chest. "Out of friendship for Lydia?" Ollie suggested hopefully. "Oh, you mean that friendship she just dropped for you and your kid?" the other man said scathingly. He floated across the room, looking out the window down at Crowe as she sat on the swing. She'd gone outside once again after the ordeal with the china. He felt a little twinge of something at seeing her cast; she did look a lot like Lyds after all, so it was almost like seeing Lyds hurt. But it was quickly squashed by a purely vindictive idea. On that would hurt the entire family. Which sounded just fine to him.

"Ok Ollie, I'll keep the ghosts out. On one condition," Beetlejuice flashed him a greasy crooked grin. "Name it," Ollie said promptly. "Your daughter." "Pardon?" "You're daughter. The little girl. She marries me, I keep the ghosts out. Sounds fair to me," he shrugged like it was nothing. "But she's only ten!" Ollie protested sharply. "I can wait...what's the legal age? Eighteen? Eight years then. Not like I'm going anywhere," Beetlejuice cackled evilly. Ollie still wasn't convinced. "Look, I'll sweeten the deal. I'll see to it the ghosts stay out even while I'm not married to her. And I'll leave you two alone until she's eighteen. After that though, she's mine. And the ghosts remain outta yer hair after that. Fair enough?" Ollie hung his head. It was, but it seemed so wrong. He had said anything. It was the lesser of two evils from his standpoint. "Fair enough," he said resignedly, shaking Beetlejuice's hand. It was worse than shaking hands with the devil after signing away your soul.

A/N: so, what did you think? Was it good, bad? Can I improve or should I just scrap it now, quit while I'm ahead? Clicky the little review button and let me know. Me likey reviews. They give me a happy. Thankies.