How can I successfully complete my evil scheme, on an empty stomach, thought Phil?It was eight o'clock and Phil Tuckerman and his mother were waiting around the dinner table for the father to arrive home. The dinner was getting cold and Phil couldn't take it any more! Finally, he blurted out, "Can I eat dinner now?"
"No, not now Phil. You're father will be home any minute now, and stop wining like a little kid, for heavens sake, you're how old now?" said Phil Tuckerman's mom, Martha.
"I'm fifteen years old, and even though I've stopped growing I still need to eat my veggie's to keep my brain focused when I'm doing my homework. You know, so I can get good grades," protested Phil.
"Nice try, honey, but I've seen your grades before, and waiting a little bit longer for your dad to come home shouldn't be such a"
"Honey, I'm home from work," said Eric Stumble, Phil's step dad.
"Yes! Finally!" Phil shouted with joy. He scarfed down his meal, and walked upstairs to finish his homework. "Ugh…" sighed Martha
"What's wrong?" asked Eric, trying to sound concerned when he could really care less about what his wife thought.
"It's just that I think you and Phil don't spend enough time together. You're always home late and he's always doing homework or 'thinking in his room', as he likes to call it. You two should go to the county fair tomorrow, it is a Saturday after all," suggested Martha.
"Yes, but I have work, and I don't think we have anything in common, and… …What? What's with the face?" asked Eric
"Oh, nothing, I am just upset and disappointed in you because you don't want to spend any time with your step-son. I mean, I can't force you to spend time with him or…"
"All right, all right! I'll take the day off and go to the fair with him. Just let me finish my dinner in peace and I'll go talk to him," said Eric.
"No, you're going up now," Martha, said in a stern tone.
"Fine," Eric mumbled as he stomped his way up the stairs.
Ok, my homework is done, thought Phil. Now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to rule the world. Hmmm… I know! I'll go through one of the old books that Eric, or 'Daddy' used to read to me to bed. Ok, now lets see. Oh! The Little Villain that could Rule the World? No that's just a stupid little book. Oh, how about… no never mind. Wait! This is it! Ten steps to success! Ok, Step 1. Knock. Knock. Ugh. "Who's there?" asked Phil.
"It's Dad," said Eric
"My dad is dead, so who is this?" said Phil being smart.
"It's your new dad, Eric. Now let me in!" Eric said impatiently.
"Oh! That dad. Come on in," Phil replied, and quickly hid his book under his thin and uncomfortable pillow. Eric came in with a corny smile that said, "Mom sent me up here to talk to you, and so lets get it over with." Eric's bottomless green eyes were sad and gloomy when they met with Phil's sinister chocolate brown eyes. "What do you want?" asked Phil in a disgusted voice.
"Your mom thinks we should spend more time together, so I'm taking you to the carnival tomorrow. Doesn't that sound fun?" asked Eric in a voice that only preschool teachers use.
"Actually, no, it doesn't sound fun. I've out-grown carnivals for quite some time now, and don't plan on going to one. Especially not with you, so if you don't mind leaving now. I was in the middle of some very important business before you interrupted me."
"Nobody talks to me like that, and we are going to the carnival tomorrow whether you like it or not! Understand?" Eric yelled.
"Loud and clear, Grumpy Pants! Now if you don't mind," Phil said as he was waving his hands and shooing his step dad out of the door. Finally! Thought Phil. Alone at last! Now I can concoct a wicked and mischievous plan to rule the world. OK! All I have to do is follow step one of my book. Step one: Make a list of people you hate and your reason why.
People I Hate and Why
Classmates- they make fun of my 'poor clothing' and my 'gruesome scent'
Eric- tries to be nice but fails and I think he's hiding something
Mom- doesn't let me do whatever I want (I despise that woman)
Rest of the world- I am the supreme mastermind of the entire world and most people know little of me (how dare they)
"Ugh! Never tell me to go up there again! Ever!" Eric cried to Martha.
"Oh, calm down. You've known him for three years now and you're scared to go up to his room? You're a grown man, for crying out loud!"
"I'm fully aware of that, Martha! But, Phil just doesn't seem to appreciate me as a dad, and I have given up trying to please him. I don't see the point in trying to 'bond' with him," complained Eric. He gently set his head on the table and sighed heavily. Martha walked over and started to stroke his greasy black hair.
"I know it seems difficult at first, but once you two really get to know each other, it'll be worth it," said Martha in a soothing voice.
"Yeah I know. I just have to give it some time. I think I'll go take a nice long walk. It's nine o'clock now, so I should be home around ten if I walk through the park."
"Ok, honey. Watch out for cars. Bye!" Eric would go on one of these 'walks' just about every other day. When he says he goes on these 'walks', he really goes to the bar that's just around the corner that's opened up all night long. Eric never drinks too much, or else he'll lose control of himself.
One time, he had too much to drink and strangled Mr. Tuckerman to death because he stole Martha away from him. But that was many years back, and it still gives him the shivers when he thinks about Mr. Tuckerman coming back to haunt him. Even though Eric claims that walking calms his nerves and all of that mumbo jumbo, he dose love the hushed tones of England at night. Especially after it rained and you can hear the last bit of drops falling from the gutters on the cold paved road.
Phil thought that his little room (or attic) was too small and humid for him to think clearly about ruling the world. So, he decided to lower himself from his bed sheets that were attached to his bed. Once he safely made it to the ground he ran as fast as he possibly could (which wasn't that fast). After he was about a block away from his house he slowed down to a stroll. Phil was finally able to think clearly, until he saw his step dad walk into a bar.
He didn't know how to react to this, so he did a few summer-salts over to a nearby mailbox, trying to act just like James Bond, but he ended up looking like a real nut case. Once he got behind the mailbox, Phil decided to get down on all fours and sneak into the bar to figure out what Eric was doing there.