What About Now, a law and order: svu fanfic

What about Now (a song fic)

What about Now (a song fic)

It wasn't easy. I'm not going to say that it wasn't a bumpy ride. I never thought that I would ever fall in love, or that anyone would see through the wall I had built around myself. I didn't want to care. I pretended that it was okay to live above the law. I did whatever I want, because it was easier to pretend that nothing was real. I buried my feelings. I buried my emotions and I buried my conscience. But then I met you. Somehow, something deep inside of you woke me up. It shocked me that you went searching for me. I was blown away that you somehow had the strength to trust me, even after everything I did to you. At first I didn't understand it.

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

For some reason you cared about me, even when you had every reason to hate me. That was all that I needed to give me the strength to change.

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

Sometimes I still can't believe it. It is almost too good to be true. You had every reason to hate me. You had every reason to kill me. Why didn't you? What was it that you weren't saying?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

But I have to let you go. You are telling me that you are in love with me but I want you to have a better life that I can give you. Do what you have to do, Olivia. At first I thought you were just this stubborn, sexy cop, but there is so much more to you than that. You taught me what it meant to have a purpose. You taught me what love really is. Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes.

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

All broken hearts heal. I know that mine will, and I know that yours will. I am not the only one who loves you. I know you think you are supposed to be with me, but can't you see how much Elliot loves you? Choose me, if you want. Or choose Elliot. But you can't have it both ways, Liv. Choose one of us. Choose before it's too late. I can handle a broken heart. I have before.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

But I cannot deny the truth. I am in love with you. There is so much light inside of you. Whenever I see you, your face brings a smile to my face. All I want is for you to be happy. I don't care about myself anymore. I just want you to have everything you want, everything you need. I want you to be safe and happy because of all the people in the world you definitely deserve it.

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

I remember that day, a couple months after you went searching for me. I asked you what you wanted, and why you were bothering me. You told me that you weren't here as a detective, you were just here to talk. You told me that the only thing you wanted is for me to apologize, and that you would never bother me again. But then you told me that you were pregnant with my baby. Something woke up in me.

You left, but I went looking for you. I told you that I was sorry. You told me that you believed me, that it was hard but that you believed me. I remember the day, a couple months after we started hanging out, that you told me that you were in love with me. It didn't work out in the end, I know, but I still love you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

But a couple years later you called me. You told me that you wanted me to be a part of your daughter's life. You confided in me, and told me that you always hated not having a father and you didn't want your daughter to have to grow up that way. You told me that, yeah, it was a bumpy ride, and that you felt like you felt crazy because you were about to say this, but that you were still in love with me. At the time I was in Chicago, but I immediately bought a plane ticket back to New York.

When I arrived you hugged me and told me that it didn't matter anymore; that it didn't matter how we met. You told me that you couldn't stop thinking about me, and that Elliot was more like a brother to you and that some things happen for a reason and that you finally got over your anger. We started dating again. A year later, you asked me to marry you. I said yes.

Because it isn't too late. Sometimes it is hard to express how we feel in words, especially when the truth is crazy.

Our daughter is five years old now. She hasn't asked us how we met yet, and maybe she never will. But it will always be true. Our life is so ironic, considering your job and who I am and who we are now, a married couple. Yeah, it's ironic. So ironic.