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Summary: When Ziva becomes emotionally disconnected, Tony struggles to repair their family. Unfortunately, in order to re-establish a connection, it's going to take more than a restart button. (Tiva baby)

Chapter 1

Tony lay on the couch, snoring lightly with his arms wrapped securely to his chest. With all of the excitement from the first half, from good defense, fast breaks, and amazing dunks; he dozed off during the halftime show of the college basketball game.

First, there were a few whimpers and slight movements of his mouth.

Next, the whimpers increased and he began to squirm.

Then, the whimpers turned into full blown cries.

Tony was startled awake as he wrapped his arms a little tighter to his chest out of reflex. He looked down and was met with green eyes, the same as his own, but slightly watery.

"What's the matter buddy?" Tony asked his one month old son. He gently rubbed his back, but the crying continued. Tony glanced at the TV and saw that Ohio State University was losing to the University of Michigan by 12 points.

"Yeah, I would cry about that too." He looked down at his son again. Tears were rolling down his little cheeks. "What's wrong Kai?" He felt his diaper. "You're not wet." He lifted the baby up gently and smelled the diaper. "And you still smell good."

The agitation was evident on the infant's face.

"You must be hungry." He concluded. "Let's go get mommy."

Tony felt his mood damper a little bit. He felt apprehensive about bothering Ziva. Would it actually be considered as "bothering" if it was something that their son needed? She had been pretty erratic with her behavior lately. He knew that things took time and that this was a phase that she was going through. But, this "thing" whatever it was, was taking a toll on him also.

Holding Malachi to his chest, he walked from the living room, through the hallway, to their bedroom door. He didn't even try to turn the knob, because he knew it was locked. She had been doing that a lot lately too; running to their bedroom, locking the door, and staying in there for hours.

He knocked on the door and waited.

…

Inside the bedroom, Ziva sat on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, her back against the bed. Her chest was heaving up and down, her head shaking from side to side, as tears rolled down her cheek and Hebrew prayers fell from her lips.

She had been at this for a few hours, cursing herself and then praying. Instead of reaching that divine effect of relief, it just made her feel wearier, if that was even possible.

Finally, her tear ducts were starting to dry up and her eyes were sore. She felt a tightness in her chest as her heart beat frantically. She almost began to panic until she realized that the heart that was beating so loudly in her ears was actually Tony knocking on the door.

"Come on Zi, open up please. He's hungry."

She could hear the anxiety in his voice and the anxiety in the baby's cries. She willed herself to get up off the floor and walk over to the door.

Tony could hear the door being unlocked and when it opened, he was met with a dull, emotionless stare. It was kind of like she was looking past him instead of looking at him, and that hurt. He noticed the dried tears and the red and swollen eyes, but he didn't say a word. Tony held the baby up, still trying to soothe him as he passed him to her. He didn't let go until he was sure that Ziva was holding him securely. She turned away to go back into the room.

"I can come in-" He was cut off by the door closing in his face. "if you want me to." He finished. Taking a deep breath and sighing, Tony leaned against the door frame and waited, just like he always did.

…

Ziva sat on the bed, with her back against the headboard. She prepped herself to breastfeed and then the crying finally ceased as Malachi began to drink the nourishment from his mother.

Ziva always dreaded the first few minutes of breastfeeding because Malachi always had trouble latching on. He would only latch on if he had eye contact from her. And she couldn't stand the staring contest between emerald green and almond brown irises. Whenever she looked into his beautiful green eyes, she got lost in the precious gift that was her baby. The precious gift that she felt she did not deserve.

So, whenever he latched on, her eyes would turn away and find something else to look at. Even now, she found the ceiling to be somewhat interesting; with the way it was flat and painted.

…

Tony was still leaning against the door frame. He had finally put his hands in his pockets to stop them from fidgeting. He doesn't know why he seemed nervous. His son's mother was feeding his son. That was nothing to be nervous about. It's natural actually.

What wasn't natural however, was the nervousness he felt when she close the door. Her behavior was strange but he didn't believe that Ziva would bring any harm to their son.

Would she? No! Stop it! She wouldn't do that! She loves him! Does she?

Tony shook his head and just chalked the nervousness up to being an over-protective dad. His hands started to fidget again in his pockets.

…

When Malachi finished, Ziva fixed herself and then held him to her.
She reasoned to herself in her head that she was only holding him close so she could burp him. But the warmth of his little body to her felt like a hug.

After he burped, Ziva pulled him back to look at him. A tear escaped as she choked back a sob.

"Ani Mitzta'eret tateleh." (I'm sorry darling.)

Malachi just stared back at his mommy. He made gurgling noises and began sucking his fingers, completely oblivious to the sadness around him.

Ziva walked to the door and opened it. She handed Tony the baby without looking at him and retreated back to the room and locked the door.

Tony sighed again. He didn't like this non-communication with her. He looked at Malachi and then smiled.

"You ready to get back to the game, Kai?"

Malachi made a sound and Tony laughed and kissed his cheek as if he understood him.

"Our Buckeyes have to beat the Wolverines if we expect to keep our reputation and dignity."

He sat on the couch and turned the TV volume up. Ohio was only down by 2 points now.

"Good, we're catching up!"

Tony gently rubbed the baby's back. He wasn't sure if Ziva burped him or not.

"You know, back in the day when I was a Buckeye, we made it all the way to the Final Four..."

…

Ziva listened against the bedroom door. His voice was muffled a little through the door, but she could tell that he was entertaining and enjoying their son. Another tear slid down. She couldn't help but feel that Tony was more deserving of moments like that than she was.

Extra0rdinary