I set myself up.
I sat down with my legs crossed on the hard ground.
I pulled the letter out of my pocket and re-read it.
It rustled in the light wind and I hoped someone would come find me.
I looked at my watch. In the light of the moon it read 3:12.
Perfect. I had time to read my letter one more time.
Guys,
Soon enough it would happen anyway
Time will pass and you will join me
I'm with my best friend and I'm happy
I couldn't live like this, without him here
Because what you said was true
That if he went down, I'd go too
Ponyboy Curtis, 20 July 1967
Checking my watch again the time read 3:14.
I breathed out slowly, relaxing.
I put the letter in the pocket of my jacket.
I was wearing Soda's old navy sweat-shirt with the sleeves cut off.
He gave it to me when I got back from Windrixville.
I had the jeans I was wearing when Johnny died.
And the shoes mum and dad got me before they left too.
I stood up and went to stand in the middle of the tracks.
I saw a light up ahead of me. I'm coming, I thought.
As it got closer I thought of Soda, Darry, Two-Bit and Steve.
And as it got closer I shut my eyes tight.
The whistle grew louder and the screeching of the wheels hurt my ears.
As my body slammed into the train I was alive for one more second.
And for that one last second of my life I thought, stay gold because I couldn't.