I

Have you felt like you were falling? For someone? On something? To your death? I would say I felt all, but the death one. I've fallen for plenty of people before, only to have them not return them. Why can I say? I'm plain and ugly. I've fallen over and on things before. I've always been the boring person no one wanted to talk to. That was only because no one took the time to actually speak to me. Once you're considered ugly, no one wants to speak to you. Middle school was such a harsh place for me. I'm not wanted. I wonder what high school is going to bring for me. Home is better. My mom loves me, my siblings respect me and my dad is over-protective me. It must be because I'm his only little girl.

My name is Kim Crawford. I was born on January 1st to raising artist, Joe Crawford and a multimillionaire fashion designer, Linda Crawford. I have two brothers. Jason, who is three years older than me and Keith, who is only four. My mom was born in Ireland. She had blonde hair and really nice blue eyes. She had a button nose and was really beautiful. My father was an English-Scottish man with a mother from Scotland and dad from England. He was a ginger with beautiful brown eyes that shone with happiness. He was once voted the sexiest man alive. My older brother had blonde hair and green/blue eyes, while Keith had inherited the ginger hair from my dad and the blue eyes from my mom.

And me?

I was plain old Kim. I had my mom's blonde hair, except I was more of a strawberry blonde. I had my dad's eyes but I had freckles and wore oversized glasses for my vision. I could've rocked the style if I hadn't dressed the way I did. I looked like a boy. I had cut my hair so that it was short. It kinda looked like the type of hair style Miley Cyrus had, but I couldn't rock it with my style. I dressed in boy clothing. It was baggy and looked like I had no meat on my body.

That's the problem. I'm very insecure.

My thighs were too big in my opinion, so I wore my brother's old clothing. And my chest? I hated it. It was too big. And my butt was pretty big, but I thought it made me look fat. Everything about me makes me want to hit myself and start all over. I wish my entire life was dream, so that when I wake up, I'm just a baby. I know it's real and I hate it with a passion.

I stood in front of the mirror gazing at myself. Today I was wearing a pair of old khaki pant with a large sweater. It was all baggy and looked weird with my awful looking combat boots. I tilted my head to the side and wiped off the makeup I applied to my face. After it was all off, I looked at myself and sighed. Ugly, was my only thought. "Kim! Time for school!" I heard my mom.

I sighed and nodded. I grabbed my bag and ran down the hall to the front door. My mom was standing by her car smiling. "You look beautiful, Sweetheart," She whispered gently.

She opened the door for me and I got in the back. I saw Keith smiling at me and I returned it. Jason looked at me and nodded. I sent him back a small nod and mom began driving. "Keith, how was your first day?" She asked.

We had just begun school yesterday…my day was awful. Keith replied saying full day kindergarten was awesome. "Jason, how about you?" She said, "I heard you beat up another boy."

Jason nodded proudly. "He was making fun of my little sister, mom. What was I supposed to do?" Jason asked.

Mom sighed and shook her head. "You need to learn to talk things out," She said, "Kim?"

My entire family knew I liked to stay by myself and I'm glad they did. "As Jason said…people were just making negative comments about me," I whispered.

She sighed and shook her head. "This world nowadays. They judge by face. If you're pretty, you're able to fit in. If you're ugly, everything in your life will be ruined. But the question is: what is the real definition of beautiful and ugly?" Mom asked.

Jason smiled at me. "It's what in your heart that makes us so beautiful or what makes us an ugly person," He answered, still staring at me, "Kim's beautiful."

I frowned. "No I am not. I'm the ugliest thing you'll ever see," I said.

My mom winced at my comment and shook her head. "No you are not." She pulled into Keith's school's parking lot and got out with Keith. "Stay here."

We nodded and she walked our brother into the school. "Kim, I hate the way you think of yourself. Don't let those freaks comments get to you," Jason said.

I sighed. "I wish I could, but it's so hard. I hear it every day. It's hard to ignore now, Jason," I said.

Jason frowned and sighed. "I can't argue with that, but I hope this year will be the best year you'll ever have."

I nodded and the driver's door opened. Mom got in and smiled. "Let's go. Next stop, high school!" She cheered.

Jason smiled and I frowned. I'm going to hate it.

Jack's Interlude

My dad pulled up to the curb of my newest high school. I smiled and looked around. "Happy son?" He asked.

I nodded. I was kinda hoping to be in high school. I wanted to see if I could find that one person who I'll decide to be with for the rest of my life. "Yeah, I hope I love this year," I replied to my dad.

He smiled and patted my shoulder. I smiled and got out. "See ya, Dad," I said.

He smiled and saluted me a bye. I closed the car door and walked towards the school. As I was walking, I spotted someone being bullied. My sudden instinct was to go over there and stop it, but my friends had seen me. Wait – those bullies were my friends. "Yo! Jack, over here!"

I walked towards them and they pushed a small girl in to me. I caught her before she could fall and looked at her in the eyes. She had the nicest brown eyes I've ever seen. They were protected under her oversized glasses. I smiled at her and she frowned. My smile disappeared as soon as she frowned. She's beautiful. Why is she frowning? I thought in confusion. She had the most unique beauty. I've never seen it before. "Dude, this is Kim. She's such a nerd," Jake, my 'best' friend said.

I smiled at her once more and looked a bit scared. I helped her stand up properly and watched her back away from us. "Hi, I'm Jack Brewer," I said.

Kim frowned and walked away. "Of course you don't know me," She whispered.

I raised a brow. What did she mean? "Excuse me?" I asked in surprise.

She shrugged and began walking away. We all followed her. "Hey! What did you mean by that?" I asked her.

Kim ignored us and kept walking. "Hey, Kim!"

I grabbed her forearm and she looked at me weirdly. "Yes?" She snapped.

I flinched. How did she go from shy to angry quickly?

End of Interlude

I couldn't believe what was happening. Jack Brewer, the cutest boy in my grade – in others' opinion – was talking to me. I tried walking away from him, but he was making it impossible to. I looked at him in his chocolate brown eyes and narrowed mine. "Yes?" I snapped.

Jack let me go and flinched. "Um, I wanted to know what you meant by 'of course you don't know me,'" He said awkwardly.

I rolled my eyes and clenched the straps of my bag tightly. "Answer him!" His friend Jake said.

I sighed and looked up at him. "Honestly, I thought you'd at least know my name. I've been in your class since I was in kindergarten," I said. "See you around."

I turned on my heel and left, not waiting for a reply. I stormed down the hall to my first class. I walked into the art room and sighed. Well, here goes nothing, I thought. I opened the door and stepped in. In the front, there was a girl with braces shyly staring at me. I waved awkwardly at her and she smiled. "Friend!" She squealed.

She ran to me and hugged me. "Friend?" I asked awkwardly.

She let me go and nodded. "You waved! No one ever waves at me!" She said, "I'm Shy Naomi Courtenay."

I nodded awkwardly and she smiled. "No awkwardness. You'll have to get used to me," She said.

She guided me to the same desk she was sitting at and sat me down. "Thanks?" I said uncertainly.

She smiled and sat beside me. "No problem." She poked my cheek and gasped. "Are these real?" She asked referring to my cheeks. I nodded. "You have no cheekbones?" I sighed and shrugged not bothering to answer that question I thought was stupid. "I have the highest cheekbones in my family. My brother can't even compare."

I raised a brow. "Brother?" I asked.

She nodded, "His name is Jack Brewer. We have two different names because our parents were never together and I went with our mom and he went with dad."

I groaned and banged my head on the table. "Met him already?" She asked. I nodded. "Don't worry. Jack's such a sweet boy. He's always tender, gentle and sweet to his girlfriends. He isn't annoying once you get to know him well enough."

I took what she said in. I mean, he did run after me and didn't treat me like his friends. He looked at me differently too. I felt special the way he looked at me, I thought. I looked at her and shrugged. "I don't know…we barely talked. I mean, I bet you he already forgot my name. Even after he chased me too," I said.

She sat back and smirked. Suddenly I wished I could read minds but at the same time, that smirk made me think otherwise. Shy looked at me and her smile faded. "Um, I don't mean to be mean, but why are you so quiet?" She asked.

I shrugged and took out my notebook. I looked at the board and began copying down the notes on it. "Oh, you're them," She said, although her voice was void of any disgust. I knew what she was talking about. I was a nerd. Plain and simple, I was a gigantic nerd. "That's so cool! I've always wanted a friend like you!"

I looked at her and raised a brow. It was then I noticed she had sea green eyes, unlike Jack's chocolate brown ones. Her hair was as red as my brother's…she must be a natural red-head then. I shrugged and returned to writing the note. "So, what's your name?" She asked gleefully.

"Kim Crawford."

She squealed and began playing with my hair. "It's so soft," She whispered.

I looked at her weirdly and she blushed. "Sorry, I have the tendency to be extremely weird," She murmured.

I rolled my eyes and looked at my notebook again. You don't say, whatever your name is again, I thought. I looked at the board and resumed copying the note down. "You don't say much do you?" She asked.

I looked at her and squinted my eyes in annoyance…well, that and the sunlight through the window were bothering me. I sighed and picked up all my stuff and moved to the front of the class. The minute I sat down, I heard weeping from behind. I looked back and saw the girl putting up her binder that read 'SHY' in large, cursive letters, to cover her face. I sighed and pulled out the chair next to me. Shy dropped the binder down and looked expectantly at the chair. I patted it awkwardly and she ran with her stuff to sit beside me. If anyone says that this'll be the start of an awesome friendship, let me just say I hope your words bite you in your rear end.

.:::.

"Shy, don't touch that," I whispered quietly.

She laughed and poked at her lunch on the table, leaving my stuff alone. "Sorry! I was so curious that I had to!" She squealed.

I rolled my eyes and kept reading my book. "Hmm," I hummed.

She looked over the top of my book to see what I was reading. "Is it good?" She asked.

I sighed and closed the book. I placed it on the table and dug into my lunch. She pouted, but smiled after a while. "Can we sit with my brother?" She asked excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. "Knock yourself out. I'll stay here though," I replied.

Shy sunk in her seat before standing up. "Alright…I'll see you after school?" She asked.

I shrugged and continued eating my lunch. She walked away with her lunch in a very slow and sad manner. I rolled my eyes at her dramatic self. Hey, don't blame be me if I am trying to push her away. I've never had a friend before! I don't know how to act around people who try to talk to me at school. Before I knew it, the chairs at my table were being sat in and lunches being placed on it. I thought I was invisible. I looked up and saw Shy beaming at me. I looked around and saw that she'd brought her brother over…with his awfully loud friends. I glowered at the table and stood up. "Where are you going, Kim?" Jack's voice asked me.

I sighed; I did not want to be involved with people like them. So I apologize if my snappy attitude alerted them. "None of your business," I hissed lowly.

I gathered my stuff and walked away from the table. I felt their eyes on me and felt extremely awkward. I sped up my walking as I hurried to one of the only quietest places in the school.

.:::.

I sat down in the library nibbling on my sandwich when someone sat down beside me. I looked to my right and hung my head in shame. "They were trying to talk to you," He said.

I pouted and looked at my older brother. He just didn't understand all the crap that has happened. "I know, but you don't get it. It's hard for me to talk to people. I'm not even normal. You know that I'm nervous or scared when I start blurting out random facts…I can lose friends doing that, Jay," I whispered quietly.

Jason shook his head and looked at the ceiling. "Remember when I told you it isn't good to be a social retard?" Jason asked me. I nodded slowly and he laughed. "Well, you're a social retard."

Ow. That stung. I looked at him and pouted. "What the hell is a social retard anyways?" I questioned.

He sighed. "Er, someone who lacks in talking to people," He replied. I sent him a glare and he pretended to ignore it. "Kimmy, if you become any more socially retarded than you are no one will talk to you."

I blew a strand of hair from my face and sunk in my seat. "But Jay, I don't like talking to people!" I whined quietly.

I know, I'm quiet everything. But I'm smart too! Does that help? Not to Jay. "And Kim, people make fun of you for that," Jason whispered at my level. He kissed my forehead and stood up. "Now, tomorrow you'll try to be nicer to them."

I nodded and before I knew it, Jay had taken my glasses and raced out of the library. Dammit, I thought, those were my last ones too. I reopened my book and continued reading. I only looked up when someone had sat in Jay's previous spot. I looked up and saw Jack smiling brightly at me. "Hi," He said.

I nodded at him and made a move to leave. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down. "Um…so, that was kind of rude," He said.

I shrugged and closed my book. "And I'm not a nice person, there we go," I whispered.

His mouth fell open. What was he expecting, an apology? If so, he isn't getting one. I sighed and rolled my eyes when he wouldn't speak. I made a move to leave; again, he grabbed my wrist, dragging me back down. "No…don't leave yet." I sat in my seat and pouted like a little kid. "Er, Kim, I'm trying to be nice to you," Jack whispered.

I rolled my eyes. "Trying? Are you telling me you aren't a nice person?" I questioned him slightly.

His eyes clouded over with anger and my fear was spiked. "A group of gorillas is called shrewdness," I blurted out.

Jack's anger immediately disappeared as he started laughing. I blushed and looked down at my lap. Well, he isn't angry anymore, I thought. "There's only 69 years between the Battle of the Little Big Horn and the drop ping of the first atomic bomb," I blurted once again.

Jack's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Those were…random," He stated amusedly.

I blushed and laughed nervously. I began picking at my already clean nails. "Can you not be rude to Shy? She never had friends before and she'd be happy to get to know you," Jack whispered, "you don't have to like me, Kim. I don't care, but don't hurt my sister…please?"

I sighed and looked at him. "Sorry. I just never knew how treat people…friends were the one thing I never had before," I whispered.

Jack beamed happily. "This is a good thing! You and Shy can become the best of friends!" He exclaimed, earning a shush from the librarian.

I nodded. "I guess…"

He smiled and stood up. "I'll tell, Shyanne," He said before stalking off.

Well, there goes my invisibility streak.

.:::.

So, it turns out she wasn't a bad person. I could see myself as one of her closest – if not – her bestest friend. Shy was actually worth talking to. She was loud and every talkative, but she was the opposite of me and I liked that every much. It turns out that she and Jack were born within one year (hey! I asked if they were twins). Jack was born in February and she in November. It's really cool, seriously. Their mother's name is Jackie Courtenay – who I found out works for my mother and was my mother's best friend, apparently – and their father was the ambassador of Spain and wasn't really around for Jack or Shy much. In other words, both depended on each other as their motivation. It's actually sweet once you think of it. It's like my family…minus three and you got the two. Another thing about Shy is her art. It's incredibly beautiful. Had I known early she had drawn all the murals for our middle school, I'd congratulate her (although I did earlier. Better late than never).

Right now I was waiting for my mother to come and pick me up, when a sleek black car pulls into the school's parking lot. They parked their car (seriously? I had no clue who it was) and the driver's door opened. The first thing I saw was ginger hair and a wide smile. That was enough to make me jump up. "Daddy!" I squealed gleefully.

I ran into the artist's arms and he hugged me tightly. "Ah! A misst ye sae muckle!" He exclaimed in his Scottish accent.

I smiled even wider (if possible). "I missed you too, Dad!" He let me go and I got into the passenger's side. "Is Jason at home already?" I asked. He nodded and I smiled. "How was the art convention in Paris?"

He smiled and looked at me before driving off. "Ah, a pure like it(1)!" He exclaimed.

I smiled. Even though my dad's dad was British, he had been raised in Scotland all his life. "Whit's new, Kimmy?" He asked me.

How did I not develop an accent? I live with a mother from Ireland and a dad from Scotland. I must've skipped out on it while my brother's didn't really. "Mom's new clothing line sold millions, Jason has a new girlfriend and I have a new friend," I replied.

My dad ruffled my hair affectionately and I smiled. "Ah, congratulations! Haur ye gae(2)!" He exclaimed, tossing a little gift on my lap.

I smiled and opened it. I lifted up a diamond necklace and smiled at my dad. "It's beautiful! Thanks, Da," I whispered.

My dad smiled and I put on the necklace. "What'd you buy the rest?" I asked excitedly.

He winked at me and put his right index finger to his mouth. "Shh, it's a secret." I laughed at his weirdness and nodded. "A ring, a hockey jersey and a for the youngest, a new race car track."

I smiled and rested my head back on the seat.

A loue me da(3).

.:::.

Shyanne's Interlude

I officially love school. How did it happen? Why did Kim apologize again? Oh yeah, my brother is awesome and I love him so much! Right now I was approaching the stairs of my porch when the door opened. My mom walked out, revealing her black hair and sea green eyes. I smiled widely and ran up to greet her. She hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead. I took a step back to look at her. she guided me into the house with her. I took off my shoes and followed my mother into the kitchen. She sat in a seat around the island counter and looked at me. "How would you, Jack and your father like to well reacquainted again?" She asked.

What did she mean?

Too much? Or too little? Anyways, hiya! I was going to update Love or Loss but thought to myself 'will it make any sense?' your choice. I don't know if any still likes the book, so yeah. 1-This means I like it. 2-Here you go. 3-It means I love my dad.

R&R, I love Coffee Crisps! They're the best damn shit out there! :p