"God, the stars are amazing tonight." Kyle shifted in the grass and turned to glance at Stan. "Don't you think?"
Stan glanced up from his phone, distracted.
"Hmm, yeah. I heard there's going to be a meteor shower tonight or something." He looked back at his phone.
Kyle's heart fell a little when he saw Stan engrossed in his phone. It was the daily little things that really tore him up inside, he noticed. He'd often heard that the devil was in the details, and he couldn't help but think that He was playing a part when Stan ignored him like this, or simply refused to notice how he felt.
Not that he'd made any declarations or anything crazy like that. He pined from afar, but Kyle had always hoped that that would be enough. He was starting to realize that inaction in this situation was both very wise and incredibly fucking stupid if he actually wanted something to happen. At the same time, the thought of rejection killed him inside, and if a thought was enough to destroy him, he couldn't imagine what the action would feel like. Apocalyptic, probably. Sighing, he turned to look at the stars again, loving the way they glowed and throbbed in the tides of black and blue.
Kenny was strumming an acoustic guitar on a bench nearby, and Kyle tried to figure out the tune. He waited, trying to piece it together before saying anything. Cartman was standing near the edge of Starks Pond, a beer in his hand. Kyle continued to listen as he tried to figure out the tune and it was driving him crazy because he knew what it was; it was too familiar for him not to know.
He glanced at Stan again and saw that he was still stuck in his phone, and Kyle wanted to make a snide comment about him not being all up in his phone when he was inside Kyle just the other night. It was the usual situation; they had waited until the whole house had gone to sleep, Kyle huddled against Stan in his little twin bed, and when all the lights had gone out, Stan's hand had slowly closed over Kyle's thigh. He'd pulled him close and Kyle had been so ready, his mouth already wet before their mouths had reached one another in the darkness.
Kyle closed his eyes against the memory, and he could almost feel the way Stan had slid inside of him, so carefully that it bordered on being exquisite, and he almost sighed remembering. He didn't know why Stan couldn't acknowledge the things they did together in the dark when they were out in the world, and he never got the impression that it was a shameful secret to him, but it was a secret nonetheless. Kyle was always telling himself that the next time he did it would be the last time, but that never seemed to be the case when Stan was reaching for him after the lights went out.
He could even remember the first fumbling encounter they'd had, when their innocent cuddles had turned into kissing, and then Stan's hand had snaked inside of Kyle's boxers, igniting him until he had no choice but to put out the flame. After all, Stan had been the one to start it. Kyle lay back on the grass next to Starks Pond and brought his fingers to his mouth, biting down at the memory and trying to fight the feelings in his body; the heat in his aching skin. Kenny continued to play the simple melody on his guitar and Cartman was still nursing that same beer, standing at the edge of the water and looking across; the moon silvering the water so that it looked like it'd been frosted.
"Hey, you guys, I have to go," Stan said suddenly, and he was standing from the grass and brushing off the seat of his jeans. Kyle fought back the urge to tell him to stop, biting down harder on his finger. He sat up and almost reached out his arms to Stan, begging him, but he fought back that urge too.
Stan came over and ran a finger down Kyle's cheek, and it was so gentle but he still almost broke apart, and Kyle realized that any gesture from Stan in that moment was enough to push him over the edge. He just looked up at him, and he knew the stars were swimming in his eyes as they dissolved into longing. Kyle clutched at the hem of Stan's shirt and somehow he knew that was enough to convey to Stan that he wanted him to stay.
Stan backed away anyway, saying something about having to meet up with Wendy because she was upset; he needed to talk her down from the ledge. Kyle watched him drift away across the field until he was lost in the inky trees, and he just sat there staring into the grass. For a crazy moment he wondered if he looked like the girl from Christina's World but then decided it didn't fucking matter anyway; there wasn't any house in the distance that he cared about, because it probably wouldn't have Stan there waiting for him.
Feeling reckless, Kyle crawled through the grass and over to Kenny, who was still playing the song that was going to drive Kyle crazy. He wanted to scream at him to stop playing until he could figure out what the fuck it was; until he could figure out anything, but he clamped his mouth shut. Instead, he reached for Kenny's beer and knocked it back, sputtering and coughing when he realized it wasn't Coor's Light, but something else entirely.
"What the fuck is this?" He gasped, annoyed that Kenny, after getting over his shock, had started laughing hysterically at him as he heaved and coughed into the grass.
"Dude, that's gin! What the hell were you thinking?" He set his guitar aside and leaned over, laughing so hard tears were falling down his face.
"Well, who the fuck puts gin in a goddamn beer bottle? Are you for real, Kenny?" Kyle shrieked, still sputtering.
"My father does, for one, but really, you should've asked first, dude. It's only polite." Kenny picked up his guitar and started playing again, that same infuriating melody.
Kyle could feel the heat from the gin coursing through his stomach and discovered that he liked it, even if he hated its caustic flavor. He stared at the bottle and reached for it slowly.
Kenny stopped playing, amused.
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
Kyle answered by taking another big swig, and as the fire traveled through him he started to cough so hard that tears were coursing down his face. He didn't care; he loved the burn because at least it hurt less than dealing with Stan's bullshit. Kenny just shook his head, grinned, and continued to play. On the shore, Cartman looked back at them, his expression annoyed. He'd been moody the entire night, even for him.
"What's his problem?" Kyle asked, taking another drink; a smaller one this time. He was glad that he hadn't had any dinner, and he hoped the alcohol would hit him like a fucking steam shovel.
"Baby boy's hopeless in love," Kenny replied, smirking. He pushed his hood back and Kyle could see how the moon shone on his rough blond hair, making it glow a milky white that was almost ethereal. The sight made him catch his breath for a moment but then he took another drink, and the fire quickly obliterated the moon's power.
"What do you mean?"
Kenny shook his head.
"Let's not talk about it right now. I don't like dealing with him when he's in a savage mood." He winked at Kyle and continued to play. The gesture made Kyle's stomach burn the same way the gin did. He lay down in the grass and clutched the bottle to his chest, taking another sterile sip, and he almost moaned as the alcohol started obliterating his pain.
Kyle drank until his head was swimming and murky like the pond, and he fell into the sky where the stars cradled him and lifted him up above everything; keeping him safe.
He came to later and as he blinked his eyes against the haze covering them, he saw that the moon and stars had shifted position. Kyle couldn't tell how much time had passed but he felt disoriented all the same. Sitting up, he was bleary eyed and heavy headed, and he looked toward the shore to see that Cartman was gone. Kenny, however, was still on the bench strumming the same song as before. Recognition suddenly shot through Kyle's head and he crawled over to him, and he rested his hand on Kenny's knee, surprising him.
"Moon River." He said, simply. "You're playing Moon River, aren't you?"
Kenny nodded, grinning.
"I knew you'd get it eventually. I wasn't holding out hope for Stan and Cartman to know it, but I figured you would."
Kyle sat back on his heels and rubbed his face, trying to process everything; the night, the stars, Stan being gone, Kenny's decent guitar playing. He peeked between his fingers and saw that Kenny's jacket was open, and he could see that he was wearing a tight white undershirt; a wifebeater.
"What's got you playing that? Were you watching Breakfast at Tiffany's again or what?"
"It is my favorite movie, after all," Kenny shrugged. "Besides, I have the mean reds, and I'm pretty sure you do too."
Kyle peered at him.
"What do you mean? What do you have to be afraid of?" He looked around again. "Where the hell did Cartman go?"
"To Butters' house, of course," Kenny replied. "He called Cartman and he went a' running. Naturally."
"Wait, what?" Kyle rubbed his face again. "Kenny, what the fuck are you talking about right now?"
"It's the reason I have the mean reds, Kyle. I've been waiting for Butters to call me for months, but I'm pretty sure that's a call that's never gonna come." He looked at him. "I'm sure you know what that feels like."
Kyle bristled.
"I have no idea what the hell that's even supposed to mean."
"Where's Stan tonight, Kyle? Not with you."
Kyle felt instant tears well up in his eyes at this comment, and his chest felt like it'd been shot through. He stood up but he was unsteady on his feet. Before he knew what he was doing, he was tugging off his light jacket and pulling down his jeans, throwing the articles of clothing in the grass. He stripped until he was just in his boxers and a flimsy white t shirt.
"Kyle, what the fuck are you doing?" Kenny asked, and he finally looked a little unsettled.
Kyle was glad to see that he wasn't always so impassive, and he stared at the wifebeater Kenny wore under his coat. Against his will, his mouth watered a little. He started walking toward the pond.
"What would Holly Golightly do in this situation, huh? What would she do if she got fucked over?" He asked.
Kenny was silent for a moment, watching closely as Kyle walked closer to the edge of the pond; his eyes capturing some of the deep blue of the sky above their heads.
"I'm pretty sure I don't know," he finally replied.
"Whatever, she'd do something crazy to make herself feel better. She'd go to Tiffany's first thing in the morning and look longingly in the windows. She'd go there even after she'd been out all night, before the city had even woken up." Kyle looked out at the water. "Well, I don't have Tiffany's but I have the pond."
Slowly he waded into the water until it was up to his waist, and when he turned around he saw that Kenny was still watching him. Kyle laughed and enjoyed the sensation of the gin still swirling in his blood; enjoyed the way Kenny watched with his heart in his eyes. He dipped into the water all the way until he was floating on his back, and he wasn't just being drenched by the pond, but by the night sky opening up over top of him; the stars pulsing like golden heartbeats worlds and worlds away. The moon lay on the water and he almost thought he could touch it, and felt like he was as intoxicated on the water he was floating in as the gin coursing through his body.
He floated like that until his mind started to clear a little, but thoughts of being in Stan's bed were filtering back to him. The way he gripped his hips and held him close, the way he whispered against Kyle's ear as he came; everything. He clenched his hands under the water and wished they were wrapped up in Stan's hair. Vaguely, he could hear Kenny continuing to play Moon River, and after awhile he was entranced and making his way back to the shore; feeling almost hypnotized as the music lured him in.
Kyle slowly walked toward Kenny and as he did he could feel his eyes on him, trailing all over his body. He was aware that his boxers clung to him, and his thin white t shirt was see through and completely frail; hiding nothing. As he walked closer, Kenny put the guitar aside and spread his legs like he was ready for anything, and Kyle's mouth watered again. He stopped right in front of him and Kenny reached out and gripped Kyle's hips with just enough force to show that he was serious, and he drew him closer until he was standing in between his legs.
With an almost practiced grace, Kenny slowly slid Kyle's boxers down his legs and Kyle stepped out of them, flicking them aside. His hands drifted to the hem of his t shirt and he started to pull it up, but Kenny put his hands out to stop him.
"No, keep it on," he said, softly. "I like the way it looks, all wet against your skin. Come here."
Kenny reached up and cupped Kyle's face, drawing him into a kiss that tasted like gin and heat, and their tongues were melding together as they sighed into each other's mouths. Kyle hadn't realized how much he needed this until he felt Kenny's hands on him, and he gave himself over completely.
Kenny pulled away and looked up into Kyle's eyes, his own full of their own furious longing.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Kyle could only nod as he watched Kenny pull his cock out of his jeans, and he marveled at its size, and he was almost afraid. But when he saw him stroke it softly, his fists clenched at his sides and he didn't want to wait another second. Carefully, he straddled Kenny and as they kissed deeply, their mouths wet and hungry, he slid down onto Kenny's erection with tiny little pulses, gasping against Kenny's lips with every inch. Kenny's hands tangled up in his t shirt and pulled him close, and Kyle arched into him when he had sunk down all the way, and he didn't even want to move; for fear that the moment would be broken.
"I'd be lying if I said I'd never wanted to try this," Kenny said, smiling. His voice had changed, become huskier, and Kyle reveled in it.
"Really?" Kyle asked, panting softly. "I never would've guessed, honestly."
"You're more like Holly Golightly than you realize, Kyle. Everyone wants to fuck the manic pixie dream girl. Didn't you know that?" Kenny snapped his hips up and thrust into Kyle, surprising him. He moaned and wrapped his arms around Kenny's neck, trying to steady himself.
"I'm neither a girl nor manic," Kyle replied, managing to sound prim even in light of current circumstances. "And I'm pretty sure no one would ever consider me pixie-ish."
Kenny laughed and nuzzled his neck.
"Fine, you're a dream, then. Although I would have to argue about you being like a pixie. Now be quiet so I can focus."
Kenny's hands gripped Kyle's waist as he moved him up and down on his cock, grunting as he pulsed his hips upward. Kyle loved feeling so small in Kenny's hands, and he enjoyed the fact that Kenny could pump him up and down with very little effort. He draped his head on Kenny's neck and panted as a delicious friction built up between them, and all at once the gin and the stars and Kenny's musky cologne all culminated into one beautiful, overwhelming experience.
"I'm gonna go soon," Kenny gasped, holding Kyle tighter. "Is that okay?"
Kyle just nodded and held Kenny closer. He nipped at his neck and felt himself clench around Kenny's cock almost without having to think about it.
This was enough to make Kenny come, and he was moaning as he filled Kyle up with his heat, rocking his hips back and forth in dizzying little strokes that made Kyle drool against his shoulder. After he stopped pulsing, he just held Kyle's close as the night winds blew around them, feeling blessedly cool against their sex-hot flesh. Kyle pulled back and kissed Kenny chastely on the lips, almost like he was thanking him for being so indulgent with him.
"Not to sound completely lame or whatever, but I guess we are just two drifters off to see the world, right?" Kenny asked, his face decidedly more relaxed after coming.
Kyle just cocked his head, confused.
"Like the song? Moon River?" Kenny said, and he blushed.
Kyle just laughed, understanding.
"Sure, Kenny. And there's such a lot of world to see, huh?"