Here's the first chapter of a new Dawsey story. I had it in mind for some time but the season premiere encouraged me to finally write it down. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Enjoy reading,

Miss Eliza

It was an exhausting shift and all Matt wanted was to drink a cold beer in front of the TV before he would go to bed. Only to wake up the next morning and miss her. That was all he was doing lately. Missing his wife. Gabby. She was his everything. When she left, his heart broke into a million pieces. He almost couldn't stand the pain and maybe Severide was a little bit right when he said that he acted like he had a death wish. But there was nothing he could or wanted to do. He had called her earlier this day and she seemed to be happy helping all these people in need. She was beaming and he had realized that it was a bad idea to go to San Juan to get her back. Matt sighed and opened the door to his apartment and walked inside. Suddenly he heard a noise and steps and he couldn't believe his eyes. His beautiful wife was standing right in front of him. He couldn't help but smile.

"Gabby? You're back?"

"I am." Gabby smiled at her husband and followed his eyes to her bags. She could see his smile fade away when he saw her paramedic jacket on top of the bags.

"Those look more like leaving bags than staying bags." He really didn't want to get his thought confirmed but Gabby nodded.

"Yeah… They've asked me to extend again." She could see the hurt in his face and it broke her heart once again.

"How long?" He almost didn't have the strength to ask.

Gabby looked at her toes. "It's a permanent position."

Matt felt like he got hit in the stomach. He couldn't say anything, just nodded, when Gabby continued to speak.

"I can't describe to you the amount of aid they need down there. It's like the bells went off every single minute. And they've asked me to lead a unit, directing two dozen men and women, doctors, nurses, engineers, lawyers, people who are giving up everything just to help."

Matt didn't say anything. He just looked at her and she could see the pain in his eyes. She didn't want to cause him that.

"You could come with me…we could go together." Hopefully she looked at her husband, who took a minute before he shook his head.

"I'm a Chicago guy" His voice almost broke. "You know that"

"Yeah, I know." Gabby saw the tears in his eyes and she couldn't fight her emotion anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Matt… I had no idea it would turn into this, when I left. I just thought…"

"You were meant to do this." Matt interrupted her. "All your training, your years as a paramedic, your time as a firefighter, it led you to this. I'm just lucky I got to walk alongside you as long as I did."

Tears were rolling down their cheeks and Gabby moved over to him, standing right in front of him.

"Thank you"

"I'm proud of you" Matt looked at his wife and she could tell it was the truth.

"I've never known anyone as good as you, Matt Casey. And I never will." She made one last step forward and he took her in his arms. They were clinging on each other for dear life. Gabby buried her head in his chest and Matt caressed her shoulders, her back. Suddenly Gabby pulled back a little bit and looked up to him. Oh how much she loved this man. Leaving for Puerto Rico felt right and yet so wrong. She didn't think when she leaned forward, pulling him into a passionate kiss and Matt didn't do anything to stop her. Their lips moved in perfect sync, their hands were all over their bodies. They didn't say a word. Both of them knew that this wasn't a good idea, that it would only led to more heartbreak. But none of them had the strength to stop it. All they both wanted was one last kiss, one last touch. Matt didn't stop Gabby when she started to pull his shirt over his head and she didn't stop him when he unzipped her pants. They just didn't stop. Gabby took a few steps backward in direction of the bedroom and Matt followed her, guiding her through the door into the room and to the bed. They continued to undress each other until there were no clothes left. Their hands were discovering their bodies as if it was the first time. Only that they knew exactly how to turn each other on. The setting sun bathed the room in a golden light when their bodies became one. They made love passionately and the whole time none of them dared to speak. Afraid of ruining this beautiful moment. Afterwards they fell asleep in each other's arms like they had done a million times before and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

When Gabby woke up she looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was almost 6 am. Gently she pushed Matt's arm away so she could get up. He was still sound asleep. She looked at him and a single tear was rolling down her cheek. As quiet as possible she collected her clothes and went into the living room to get dressed. She really didn't want him to wake up. After getting dressed she took her phone out of her purse and called for a taxi. Gabby sighed. It was the hardest thing she had ever done but she knew she had to leave. She grabbed her bags and placed them next to the back door in the kitchen. Before she left she took a piece of paper from the desk in the living room and wrote a note. When she saw the taxi arriving she carried her bags outside and closed the door, taking the apartment in one last time. She turned around and walked towards the taxi. The driver got out and helped her putting her bags in the trunk. He wondered why this beautiful woman was so unbelievable sad. She looked like she had to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. He noticed a wedding band.

"Where do you want to go, ma'am?"

"O Hare, please" Gabby got into the car.

"Everything alright?" The driver tried to make small talk.

"Yeah…yeah…it's alright." Gabby looked outside the window to avoid any conversation. All she wanted to do was to tell the driver to turn around but she couldn't. She knew it would only let them into the same dead end again and she never wanted to go there again. They had said very bad things. Hurtful things. They had talked it all out before she left for Puerto Rico the first time but she could tell it wasn't okay. There were serious cracks in their relationship and she knew that love wouldn't be enough to fix them. Sure they loved each other but that didn't seem to be enough. Leaving to do something meaningful was the right thing to do. It had to be. She told herself. Otherwise Matt would have woken up to held her back, right? But he didn't. He probably was still asleep.

The taxi arrived at the airport and Gabby got out. The driver helped her to load her bags onto a trolley and she made her way into the terminal. She never looked back. She checked in, went through the security checks and boarded the plane without looking back once. But when she sat in the plane, looking outside the window, seeing the city becoming smaller and smaller underneath her, she broke down.

When Matt woke up he immediately realized that something was wrong. He looked to his right and saw an empty spot. Pushing back the sheets he got up and grabbed his boxers from the floor before entering the living room. There were no more bags. The apartment was empty. She was gone. The realization hit him like a knife right into his heart. At first he wanted to get his phone and call her but as he walked into the kitchen he saw her note.

My dearest Matt,

I'm so sorry for leaving you like this. But I had to go. I love you more than life itself and I always will. Last night was everything and more. I'm so sorry I didn't say goodbye to you in person but the truth is, I would have never had the strength to go, if I had woken you up.

Goodbye my love, my everything,

Gabby

Matt couldn't believe that she had left him like this. Sneaking out of the apartment like a thief. But deep inside he knew that she was right. She had to do this. But why did it hurt like hell? Why did it feel like his heart was ripped out of his chest? Tears were falling down his face as he walked back into the living room. Matt sat down on the couch, the note in his hands. Reading it over and over again, trying to make sense out of it. But he couldn't. He had managed the last few months, clinging to the hope that she would be back. But this time she had left for good. She wouldn't come back. Never. That was when he finally broke down. He cried for almost an hour, until no tears were left inside him. Then he got up and took a long hot shower, trying to clear his head. But he still felt like he was hit by a train. He got dressed into jeans and a shirt. The note was still on the coffee table. He grabbed his keys and the note and put it into his wallet. Matt closed the door of his apartment behind him and got into his car. After a short drive he got out and knocked onto a very familiar door.

After the plane had landed in San Juan, Gabby got her bags from the conveyor belt and walked through the passport checkpoint. On the other side Chief Hatcher was waiting for her.

"Gabby Dawson. Nice to see you again." He shook her hand. "I'm glad you took this chance and I'm sure you'll be the best leader we can ask for."

"Thank you." Gabby faked a smile. "I'm really looking forward to this challenge. There's so much we can do here. It really feels good to help."

"Come on. I'll show you your new workplace and take you to your new apartment afterwards." Chief Hatcher took the trolley with her bags and they left.

"New apartment?" Gabby was curious. She used to sleep with the other first responders in an old gym.

"Yes. Since you're a white shirt now, you get your own apartment. It's very small though. Only one bedroom. But at least some privacy."

"Sounds great." Gabby started to feel a little bit better. The thought of doing some very important work cheered her up.

"Excuse me, Dawson." Chief Hatcher looked at her while he put her bags into the CFD van. "But you look like hell. Did you have a terrible flight?"

Gabby shook her head. "No, the flight was nice."

"So it's something personal?"

She just nodded.

"Okay, I don't need to know the details but let me tell you one thing: You need to have your head in the game here. Hundred percent. If that's not the case you need to go back to Chicago and work your problems out. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Chief. My head is in the game. I already worked everything out." That was a lie but she didn't want to deal with it now.

"Glad to hear that."

They got into the van and Chief Hatcher started the engine.

Back in Chicago a very tired Kelly Severide heard a knock on his front door. "What the hell…" He cursed, put on a shirt and walked into the living room to open the door. When he did so he saw his best friend. Looking like a thrashed puppy. He moved aside. "Come in."

Matt walked inside and sat down on the couch. Kelly took a seat on the armchair in front of him. "What the hell happened to you, Casey? You look like shit, pardon my French. And the fact that you're showing up at my apartment at" He looked at the clock on the wall. "8 am on a Saturday tells me that something must have happened."

"Gabby was back when I came home last night." Matt rubbed his face.

"And by the look on your face I assume that she didn't came back to stay."

"No, they gave her a permanent position. She packed her bags and left for good."

"Wow." Kelly hadn't expected that. "Did you ask her to stay?"

"No" Matt shook his head. "She had already made up her mind. That wouldn't have been fair to her."

Kelly rolled his eyes. "And here we go again. You think this is fair to you?"

"Kelly, I love her with everything I have but you should have seen her. She was so happy helping these people. I am proud of her and it would be wrong to stop her from doing what she loves."

"Matt Casey, you're a so much better guy than me." Kelly had to laugh. "So you let her go because you love her?"

"Yep." Matt sighed. "I only wish it wouldn't hurt like hell."

"Give yourself some time to heal and you'll be fine." Kelly comforted his bro. "The pain will never go away completely but you'll learn to live with it. Part of you will always love her."

"I guess I have no other choice." Matt leaned back into the couch. "Do you have plans today?"

Kelly shook his head. "Nope. Stella is working at Molly's the entire day. We could go fishing."

"Great idea but let's take your boat and not call the chief."

Kelly laughed. "Not ready for some papa Boden talk, huh?"

"No. Not yet." Matt got up from the couch. "Let's pack our things. A boys fishing trip sounds like a good therapy right now."

In San Juan Gabby opened the door to her new apartment and carried all her bags inside. There was a small living room with a kitchen and an adjoining bedroom with a little bathroom. It had everything she needed. She unpacked her bags and got settled on the couch. Work started tomorrow so she had this day to become acclimatized again. Gabby grabbed her phone from the coffee table and dialed Brett's number.

"Gabby, hey…how are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm back in San Juan. Matt told me you wanted to speak with me."

"Yes. Gabby, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. It was totally uncalled for. You were going through hell and I yelled at you."

"It's okay, Sylvie. I'm not angry at you."

"Just tell me you didn't leave because of me"

"I didn't. It was so much more. Don't beat yourself up. I'm fine now. I'm happy."

"Glad to hear that. I hope you'll find what you're looking for. I miss you."

"Miss you too, Sylvie. I'll call you again in a few days, okay?"

"You sound sad, Gabby. Are you sure, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Let's talk in a few days. Bye."

"Bye Gabby"

Gabby hung up the phone and snuggled into her blanket on the couch. She thought about her last night with her husband and her heart felt like a solid rock in her chest. Tears started to roll down her cheeks again and she sobbed. She looked at one of her favorite pictures of them on her phone. Matt was holding her in his arms in front of the Christmas tree. Stella had taken this picture last year. There was so much love in their eyes and she had to throw the phone away to avoid to break down again. She needed to be strong, to have her head in the game like Chief told her. She couldn't deal with her broken marriage right now.