Hi I'm having a crappy week so I thought I write something funny. It's sort of an interview with different character and OCs. I'm going to start off with Isane. She's one of my favorite characters even though you don't see her often I still like her. I also put in my OCs from my story "Love in the Seireitei". The first captain to be interviewed is one of my favorite captains Byakuya. Also Byakuya might be a bit OOC, but only a little bit.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. I only own my OCs.

Now let's begin. ^^

Bleach

Captain Interviews

Chapter 1

Isane Kotetsu walked through Soul Society with her paper and brush in hand. She couldn't believe that Yachiru wanted an interview from Byakuya for the Shinigami women's association. She took a breath as she approached the sixth squad with her questions. She took a breath as she knocked on the door softly.

"Yes?"

She took a breath, "I'm from the Women's Shinigami Association. I'm lieutenant for the fourth squad Isane Kotetsu."

"Come in,"

Isane swallowed at the smooth sound of Byakuya's voice. It was no wonder that so many women sent in letters requesting for his interview. The man was quite elegant especially the way he talked. She slid the door open walking inside the office of the sixth squad. She looked around noticing that Renji was gone.

"Where's Renji I mean Abarai-fukutaichou?" Isane asked. She noticed the slight twitch of his eye at the mention of Renji's name.

"In the human world with either Kurosaki or Ishida completely neglecting his duties as usual," Byakuya said coolly.

Isane could feel a certain chill at the sound of his voice. /No wonder so many people steer clear of Byakuya and his infamous rage. /

She took a breath, "Ok well I'm sure you know that many women have asked the Shinigami Women's association for an interview for our monthly magazine. I'm glad that you agreed to it so shall we begin?"

Byakuya nodded, "Yes begin,"

"Ok, I want to thank you on behalf of the women's Shinigami association for you interview. Now first question: What's your favorite food?"

"Anything spicy,"

"What's your favorite color?"

"Silver,"

"What do you like to do when you relax?"

"Drink tea while reading a book,"

"What are some of your hobbies?"

"Calligraphy, flower arranging, cooking, and watching the koi in my pond,"

/I didn't know that Byakuya liked cooking. This is interesting. / Isane thought scribbling her notes on the answer sheet Nanao made for her.

"Do you have any favorite flowers?"

"Chinese bellflower it's a nice flower."

"It is Hanatarou bought me some for my birthday to brighten my room, but now back to the questions." Isane said taking out the sheet Yoruichi, Yachiru, and Matsumoto created. She took a breath, "Your first kiss?"

"Hisana,"

"Your second kiss?"

Byakuya raised an eyebrow, "Why is that necessary?"

Isane flushed lightly, "Our readers want to know." /Especially after the rumors going on about you and Kenpachi. The one couple no one saw coming. /

Byakuya sighed lightly before answering softly, "Kenpachi," He looked up at her shocked face as he gave a small smirk, "Yes the rumors are true."

"Hell yeah they are,"

Isane blinked watching Zaraki Kenpachi stroll in the office walking over to Byakuya. He leaned down towards Byakuya's lips being stopped by two fingers, "Didn't I tell you not in the office."

Kenpachi leaned back giving his normal crazy smile as he leaned towards his ear, "You weren't saying that yesterday."

Isane watched in amusement at the light flush covering Byakuya's cheeks. He glared at Kenpachi as he hissed, "Don't you mention that especially in front of guests."

Kenpachi looked over at Isane watching the slight red on her cheeks as she watched them interact. He grinned, "I know you, your Yachiru's friend. Don't you know Yumichika, Ikkaku, and Michiru too?"

"Yes I know all of them. Ikkaku and Yumichika are always in the fourth squad. It's nice to see you again Kenpachi-taichou." Isane said.

Kenpachi frowned, "I told you just call me Kenpachi. I hate that title it's too stuck up."

"You should expect people to call you that. It is your title." Byakuya said.

"I don't get off on it like my friend over there." Kenpachi said beckoning towards Byakuya.

"I'm not your friend." Byakuya said coolly.

"That's right you're not my friend you're my little pretty flower." Kenpachi said whispering the last part in his ear watching in delight as Byakuya's cheeks tinted red.

"What did I say about that nickname?" Byakuya hissed through clenched teeth.

"Hmm, not to call you by the name in public or in front of others," Kenpachi said as Byakuya nodded, "Yes, yet you insist on calling me that anyway."

"Because watching you blush is so much fun." Kenpachi growled in Byakuya's ear. He watched in amusement as Byakuya shifted slightly in his seat. Isane giggled softly it was funny watching the calm and collected Byakuya start to unravel. Byakuya tried to give Isane a glare, but it died the minute Kenpachi kissed his cheek. It was amusing watching Byakuya fall silent as he looked up at Kenpachi. His face a mixture of anger and shock as Kenpachi laughed, "Hey um…"

"Isane,"

"Yeah Isane put this down on that little sheet of yours. Byakuya loves to get massages and when I mean massages I mean full body massages. He really loves it when you nibble his ear like this." Kenpachi said leaning over. He nibbled Byakuya's ear as Byakuya closed his eyes biting his lip to keep himself from moaning out loud.

"Kenpachi…" Byakuya warned, but Kenpachi just smiled at him.

"What is it Kuya-kun?" Kenpachi said watching in delight at the slight pink appearing on the usual pale skin.

"Kuya-kun? Is that a pet name?" Isane asked.

Kenpachi nodded, "It sure is. He really loves that name, but only allows me to call him that. I'm sure you've heard about the person who made a mistake and called him that."

"I remember that, that person was almost killed. It was the biggest news that day." Isane said.

Kenpachi smirked, "Because that name is only for me."

"Wow so I can safely say that those rumors are true." Isane said writing her answers down.

Kenpachi nodded, "Yep sure are,"

"Well I have a couple more questions for you Byakuya. What would you do if you found the culprit who has been stealing your koi?" Isane said.

"I would deal with that person myself and show them the consequences of trespassing on my lawn." Byakuya said.

"You just don't want anyone to see the grass stains you have on the back of your robe." Kenpachi said as Byakuya's eye twitched.

Isane stifled a giggle as she asked her next question, "Many people say that you and Renji have a thing going on. What do you say about that?"

"How can I have a thing going on with Renji when he can't choose between Kurosaki and Ishida?" Byakuya said as Kenpachi laughed, "I always thought he would go for Ichigo. The way they fight all the time…"

"I do too, but if I go on about my theories we'll be here all day. Next question what would you do if someone tried to kill Kenpachi?"

Byakuya looked at Kenpachi then back at Isane, "I would like to meet the man foolish enough to do that, but I wouldn't have to worry about anyone in the Seireitei doing that."

"Damn right," Kenpachi said.

"What was the nicest gift you ever received?" Isane asked.

"Hmm, a pocket watch from Hisana and a bottle of aged sake from Kenpachi." Byakuya said.

"Told you, you would like it," Kenpachi said.

"Shut it," Byakuya said.

Isane stifled another giggle, "If you were shipwrecked on an island who would you want to be there with you?"

"Hmm…" Byakuya said as he looked at Kenpachi again then back to Isane, "I would want to be there with Rukia and Kenpachi. The two people I can tolerate."

"Aww you're so sweet Kuya-kun." Kenpachi said kissing him on the cheek again.

Byakuya blushed as he frowned at Kenpachi, "What did I say?"

"Hmm about kissing you in public or trying to do you in a public place. Like that time after our captain's meeting or our sparring match…" Kenpachi started being silence by a gloved hand over his mouth and a slightly flushed Byakuya, "Don't mention that Kenpachi and you don't write that down." He said glaring at an amused Isane.

Isane smiled as she nodded, "I already forgot it Kuchiki-taichou." /Kuchiki-taichou is pretty kinky. /

"Now are there anymore questions?" Byakuya asked shifting slightly in his seat.

"Hmm one more if you could be an animal what would you be?" Isane asked.

"Hmm I would be cat. There's an elegance about them that I like." Byakuya said.

"Thank you for participating Kuchiki-taichou. Do you have words for our readers?" Isane asked.

"Yes stay out of my backyard." Byakuya said glaring at Isane who smiled sheepishly at him.

"Sorry we promise not to build another pool in your backyard." Isane said. /I better tell Yachiru to get rid of the plans for now. He's on to us. /

"Is there any questions for me?" Kenpachi asked.

"Yes, but I have to come for you next time Kenpachi. Our readers asked for an interview from Byakuya first. You're next though." Isane said.

"Ok sounds like fun." Kenpachi said smiling.

Isane giggled, "I can't wait. Well I better get going the meeting is going to start soon." She stood up bowing to Byakuya, "Thank you again Kuchiki-taichou."

Byakuya nodded, "It is no problem."

"It was nice to see you Kenpachi." Isane said smiling.

Kenpachi smiled back, "Nice to see you too Isane. Make sure you come around the 11th squad sometimes."

"I'll be sure to. Well see you later. Thanks again," Isane said bowing again before walking out the room.

/I can't believe I got Byakuya's interview. Matsumoto and Yoruichi won't believe this. / Isane thought sighing in relief.

*~*~*

Back in Byakuya's office Byakuya let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Kenpachi smiled, "I can't wait for my turn. That sounds like fun."

"I can't believe you told her that." Byakuya said softly his voice laced with anger.

"Told her what? That you like to fuck in the backyard and that one of your favorite places is the office we have our captain meetings at." Kenpachi said smirking as Byakuya glared at him.

"No one needs to know that." Byakuya said.

"Don't worry I won't tell the world how kinky you are Kuya-kun." Kenpachi said.

Byakuya smirked, "Oh you won't will you…" he stood up going towards Kenpachi. He pushed him down in the chair as he straddled his waist, "I have to make sure you keep quiet."

Kenpachi shivered at the silky tone Byakuya's voice took as he wrapped his arms around his waist, "How will you do that?"

"I have my ways…" Byakuya said as he leaned down pressing his lips against Kenpachi's in a searing kiss. Kenpachi smiled in the kiss as he tightened the hold around Byakuya's waist; the kiss becoming rougher and rougher by the minute. Kenpachi groaned lifting Byakuya and pushing him against his desk. He knocked all of Byakuya's papers on the floor. Byakuya broke the kiss, "Damn I was working on those reports." He growled glaring at Kenpachi with hazy eyes.

"Believe me after today you'll do nothing, but sit down." Kenpachi purred as Byakuya moaned softly.

*~*~*

Isane made it to the office, meeting Matsumoto along the way. As they walked inside Isane realized she left her brush in Byakuya's office. Matsumoto offered to go back with her to get it.

"I can't believe those rumors about Kuchiki-taichou and Kenpachi are true." Matsumoto said.

"I know I couldn't believe it myself. It was pretty awesome seeing it first hand." Isane said giggling lightly.

"I can't believe Byakuya actually blushed. That's so cute." Matsumoto said smiling.

"You shouldn't call Kuchiki-taichou by his first name." Isane said shaking her head.

Matsumoto waved it aside, "It's fine he can't hear us."

Isane shook her head, "You're just as bad as Yachiru-chan."

Matsumoto laughed as they approached Byakuya's office. They heard some muffled sounds behind the door Isane looked at Matsumoto in concern.

"Do you think everything is ok in there?" Isane asked.

Matsumoto shrugged, "I don't know I think so. Should we check to be sure?"

Isane nodded, "We should Kuchiki-taichou could be in trouble."

"Ok," Isane said as she nodded. They eased towards the door trying to make out the sounds. They blushed instantly when they heard a breathless, "Kenpachi…" Accompanied by a breathless, "Again…Byakuya…"

"On second thought I think I'll get my brush tomorrow." Isane said walking away quickly with an agreeing Matsumoto.

*~*~*

Meanwhile inside the office Byakuya heard four sets of footsteps leaving he looked up, "What was that?"

"Who cares?" Kenpachi said crushing his lips against Byakuya's as he moved his hips. Byakuya groaned softly in the kiss falling victim to pleasure once more.

*~*~*

At the meeting Yachiru squealed happily, "THESE ANSWERS ARE GREAT! GOOD JOB ISANE!"

Isane smiled, "Thank you madam president. I'm glad you like them."

"I'm surprised Kuchiki-taichou agreed to this interview. These answers are good. They'll work great for this month's issue." Nanao said.

"THEY'RE MORE THAN GOOD! THEY'RE GREAT!" Yachiru squealed happily as she jumped into Isane's lap.

Isane smiled patting Yachiru's head as she handed her some candy, "Thank you again madam president. Now that we've done Byakuya who should we do next?"

"I say Ukitake-taichou. Who knows how many secrets he has..." Matsumoto said smiling mischievously.

"Don't you dare say that about my captain! He's a good man!" Kiyone exclaimed jumping out of her seat.

"I didn't say he wasn't I just I think he would have some interesting answers." Matsumoto said her mischievous smile not fading.

Kiyone fumed, "Don't you…" she started when Isane placed a hand on her shoulder, "Kiyone, please, calm down."

"But Isane she's accusing my beloved captain of hiding some sort of infamous secret." Kiyone said pointing an accusing finger towards Matsumoto.

"What? He is a man isn't he…" Matsumoto said giggling behind her hand.

"I agree I think she's on to something for once." Haineko said.

Matsumoto groaned, "I hate that we have to include you into our meetings now."

Haineko shrugged sticking her tongue out at Matsumoto, "Hey it's either that or I call Kazeshini and we have some fun."

Matsumoto waved it away, "Fine, fine, do what you want. Anyway who should we do next?"

"I say Toshirou he did come third in our polls." Nanao said adjusting her glasses.

"Nah I say Shuuhei I mean he is acting captain now. So it would work." Rukia said.

"I say…" Isane started when Yachiru popped up, "I SAY WE DO MY KEN-CHAN NEXT!"

"I did tell him I would come to him next." Isane said.

"Ken-chan would love it." Michiru said as Sushi nodded in agreement.

"I agree it sounds like something Kenpachi would do." Unohana said.

"Then it's agreed we ask Kenpachi next." Nemu said.

Yachiru cheered, "YAHOO! I can't wait to hear what my Ken-chan has to say."

"Me either," Nanao said pushing up her glasses.

Now this was just something silly I wrote to try and cheer up my crappy mood. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Tell me was it funny or should I just keep it as a one shot. Well I hope someone gets a laugh from it. Until next time or as Gin would say bye-bye.