I Thought I Knew Him
A Covert Affairs fan fiction
By: Amanda Croft
Spoilers: 1x07 "Communication Breakdown"
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Covert Affairs, but I do fortunately own my interpretation of Annie's thoughts.
Summary: I would have sworn that I knew August 'Auggie' Anderson; turns out I didn't know him at all.
I thought I knew him. I really thought I knew Auggie better than almost anyone else. Granted I didn't know everything about him. In truth the facts I didn't know about him about him far outnumbered the facts I did. I knew he came from Illinois and a pretty big family. I knew that he lost his sight due to a bomb he was too curious about in Iraq. I knew he was a charmer and a ladies' man. I knew he was a genius with anything electronic. I knew he was once a top notch field agent and still had an instinct for it better than almost anyone I know. I knew that he was the calm voice in my ear that got me home when an op went bad and pumped me up whenever life got to be too much. I knew how he took his coffee and his favorite alcoholic drink and his favorite type of muffin. I also knew that he wasn't as happy go lucky as he always portrays. That is essentially the extent of the facts I knew about one August Anderson.
But despite that I could have sworn that I knew Auggie. I knew the kind of person he was on the most basic level. I knew his heart and his spirit. I knew he is loyal and caring. I knew he is a good man that truly respects life and love and women and people in general. I knew how he thinks. I knew implicitly that I could trust him and he would always be on my side. I knew he would always back my play even if he thought I was wrong – he would argue with me later, but he would support me.
I thought I knew him, but maybe I didn't know him at all.
When I found out about Tash and that part of his past; I found out that he was probably as heartbroken over her as I am over Ben and had never said a word! How is that fair? I had told him more about Ben than I had anyone, including Danielle. I knew he was lying when he downplayed his relationship with and feelings for her even before we ever left the DPD. After I saw them interact I knew I was right and that their relationship was so much more than "having fun". I found out that he broke up with her according to him – despite being in live with her – because the agency said so. That really made me question what he knew about love. You don't break up with someone you are in love with, do you? I knew that he was patriotic and loyal to the CIA, but to break up with someone you love over the Agency? Maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought.
There was also the issue of Liza Hearn. She was threatening to destroy the CIA and everyone in it. She could ruin a lot of lives and posed a major threat to the safety of the world – though maybe that's a little over dramatic. Her leaked information had compromised officers and missions. And she was calling Auggie! At first I figured he had been venting, kind of, and had called her about his mission with Tash. To my surprise he told me he was dating her! My first thought was that he was kidding, no way was he dating Liza Hearn, but that only lasted a moment until I saw the seriousness on his face. My next thought was betrayed disbelief as I accused him of being the leak. He promised me he wasn't but I think I would have preferred he was in that moment over the truth. The truth was that he was using a relationship with her to find who the leaks were. I thought I knew him, but in that instant I felt I didn't know him at all. The Auggie I knew would never use someone like that.
And then he ran with Tash and my doubts started to grow. He was abandoning me and his life, and his work, to help her escape. When I found his bread crumb my faith in him and myself was restored. He was just running her. He was leaving clues for me to follow him and help him. He was not a traitor or whatever else Jai was thinking, he was doing his job. He knew I would show up when he didn't call in to work, and he knew I would find his clues, and he knew I would back his play whether I agreed with it or not. Because he knows me and knows I know him; that's just the way that best friends are. I refused to stop believing in him when he needed me to follow his lead and help him get home safe and successfully complete the mission. Jai could doubt and undermine and criticize all he wanted, I was done doubting what I knew about Auggie.
When we found him on that train with the code and without her, I knew that it hadn't necessarily been his choice. I looked at his face and listened to the way his voice wasn't quite right, and I knew that this time she had broken his heart but he would survive. I knew that he would never openly admit how much he was hurting and that if I wanted to help him, it would have to be covert. I knew that with time, we would be ok.
After he was debriefed and had turned over the code, I met him in his office in my own version of an Auggie support system. He told me his plans with Liza Hurn, and I knew that he felt in whatever it was that still made him a damn good field agent this was the best way to end it. I knew that as an officer of the CIA he would do whatever was necessary to protect the Agency and all of the people in it. I knew that as a man, he hated what he was doing and why he was doing it and that he felt he had no choice. I also knew that no matter what, I would support him and back his play, because after everything we had been through in the past four days, I knew that I knew Auggie Anderson and nothing else really mattered at that moment.
Author's note: My muse loved this episode Annie's reactions to Auggie's situation and I started writing this half way through it, so forgive me if it's not great. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. As always, I look forward to any questions, comments, suggestions, or constructive criticism.