Dr. Spencer Reid and the Terrifying Bug Bites

Reid groaned as he got out of the car, and immediately pulled his vest off and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. Morgan had the same reaction, but no extra clothes to pull off.

"What is that?" He complained.

"Humidity." Reid returned. "And bugs!" He slapped his arm.

The deputy sheriff came to meet them and he grinned.

"All I can say is, welcome to Ohio. Sorry about the weather."

"And bugs!" Reid repeated, slapping at another.

"Comes with the territory," the deputy explained. "Come on down. It's a bit of a hike. Hope you dressed for it."

During the 'bit of a hike'—that turned out to be half a mile of terrain that you couldn't even use an ATV on—Reid got seventeen bug bites. And he noticed every one. The hike was punctuated by the sounds of slaps and mild curse words. Morgan seemed to have some magical quality to him: either he didn't feel the bites or the bugs were smart enough to stay away. Reid only wanted that same luck for himself.

At the scene, Reid was trying in vain to examine the body, but he couldn't.

"Hey, Reid, you shouldn't scratch those, you know it only makes it worse," Morgan said helpfully.

"Thanks for the advice. I'm sure I couldn't have gotten by without it," Reid bit back, and continued to scratch.

During the next few hours of research and brainstorming, Reid kept scratching. And people kept noticing.

"Hey, you okay? You sound distracted," Penelope had even noticed! Over the phone!

"Just—just a couple bug bites," Reid explained. "Now can you run those names?"

"Certainement, mon ami. Au revoir," Penelope assured him.

"Thanks." Reid hung up the phone and returned to the victim's living room, where he and Prentiss were interviewing the roommate.

"What about repairmen?" He asked as he sat down. "Have you had anything done?"

"No, but—are you okay?" The girl broke off in the middle of a sentence, when she noticed Reid discreetly—he'd assumed it was discreetly—scratching his leg.

"Just a bug bite," he said brightly. "Now, back to repairmen."

"Six orders," Rossi affirmed and the girl at the counter punched it in. "And soon."

"Will do." She chirped. "Six drinks as well? Small, Medium or Large?"

"Let's go with Large."

When Rossi was done, and had been handed six cups, he made his way over to where Reid was standing. "Help me fill these. I'm assuming that you'll know what everyone else will want."

"Of course I do," Reid assured him, stopping his scratching for a moment to take three. "Prentiss and JJ will want Diet Coke, Morgan will want Dr. Pepper and Hotch likes anything but Orangeade."

After filling them, they were waiting for the rest of the order, when Rossi noticed Reid's actions.

"Hey, you need something for that? We can stop somewhere."

"Nah, we need to get back so we can eat lunch and give the profile. I can pick something up later. But thanks for the offer."

Rossi took Reid's cue and dropped the subject.

"The person we are looking for is a white male," Hotch began. Reid scratched his arm.

"We suspect that he…" Morgan continued, and Reid phased out, trying to reach a bug bite on his leg without attracting attention.

Prentiss had picked up when Morgan stopped. "We advise that…"

"Reid?"

Reid jerked to attention in the middle of scratching his neck.

"Oh! Right. We believe he is a kleptomaniac. He literally does not see these women as humans, just objects. We…"

During the moments he was talking, Reid scratched his neck, his left arm, his right arm and barely restrained himself from scratching one on his hip. This was not pleasant.

JJ came over after everything was over. "I can get you something for that," she began, but Hotch reentered the room, in a hurry.

"We have a lead," he announced, and exited again, leaving them to follow and forget about JJ's offer.

They were spending the night at a Bed & Breakfast. The town wasn't big enough for a proper hotel, and the Bed & Breakfast was mainly used by the townspeople for getaways and weddings. Because of that, it did have plenty of rooms and no one had to double up.

Tammy, the owner, was very helpful, answering any questions they gave her, and making dinner for them all.

The food was excellent, everyone agreed to that but Reid. He was too busy rubbing his leg against the table, thinking that it was less noticeable than using his hand to scratch it.

He might have been wrong.

It was later when Reid heard a knock at his door and walked to open it.

Hotch was standing there, one hand behind his back. "Now, the drugstore in town closed an hour ago, and Tammy didn't have any calamine lotion either, but…" he withdrew his hand from and gave Reid an orange box. "I have been reliably informed that if you make a paste of baking soda and water, it has the same effect."

Reid, slightly embarrassed, took the box. "It was that obvious?"

Hotch laughed at the question. "Yes, it was," he informed Reid, trying to keep the smile off his lips. "And don't worry, tomorrow you can be inside all day."

"Except when I walk to the car."

"Yes, except then," Hotch admitted. "Good night."

"Good night, Hotch, and," Reid smiled. "Thanks."

Hotch shook his head, still grinning and went off to bed.

Reid felt triumphant. Finally, a way to conquer the bug bites! He only felt foolish that he hadn't thought of it first…

A/N: Ah, bug bites. The only down side to summer. I know that I can certainly relate to Reid's predicament, but it really wasn't inspired by me. Just an idea that popped into my head. I tried to get his reactions close to those in 'Painless' when his phone keeps ringing, but with less anger and more frustration.

How was Reid this time? Was he himself?