She is All There is too him
She is all there is to him. She is like a drug. He has an addiction to her and can't get enough. She's the only girl he's ever loved, and that's scary. Considering how many times he's had sex. He used to play girls. He used to date more than one girl at a time. Now he doesn't. He's only hers. She won't have it any other way. Quite frankly he won't either.
They've been going steady since junior year. He used to laugh at the guys who went "steady". He was sure his old "friends" laughed at him too. At first he'd not wanted to see her. He'd just wanted to get into her pants. She told him no not till she felt comfortable. That's why he'd first dated her, to sleep with her. He went to dates with the intent that things would get passionate and turn into more. While on these dates he found himself falling in love with her. It scared him and embarrassed him that he had only dated her to have sex with her.
They sat under the bleachers on a nice windy Chicago day. She was wearing a blue sweatshirt and blue jeans looking very good indeed.
"I'm Cold," she complained in a cute way.
"Figures," he laughed. She hit him playfully. And he kept laughing.
"Well maybe if I had a more considerate boyfriend who offered me his coat then we wouldn't have this problem," she told him.
"Then what would your boyfriend do he might get cold." He pointed out. She pouted and he handed over his jacket. She smiled and he asked her, "Don't I get a thank you?"
"Thank you for not letting your girlfriend freeze. Question?" she asked.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Why do you like it so much under here?" she questioned sweetly.
"I don't know. It's just like my own little world you know?" he answered.
"I'm welcomed in your little world?" she whispered.
"Anytime." He responded and kissed her.
That was when he'd realized it. That he loved her. He started avoiding her then. He stopped taking her on so many dates. He tried to fall out of love with her. That didn't go to well. When he did bump into her, seeing him didn't bring a smile to her face. She got scared and ran away from him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she asked him one day in the parking lot. She was wearing a cashmere sweater and a black skirt.
"I didn't know you were talking to me." He snapped.
"Oh don't give me that bull you've been ignoring me." She screamed.
"No I haven't." He muttered.
"Liar." She replied.
"I don't lie." He mumbled.
"I remember you once told me ignoring someone was real shitty, and your doing it now?" she yelled.
"Well I'm a shitty person." He replied.
"Why?" she asked.
"Why…?" he said begging her to continue.
"Why have you been ignoring me?" she questioned.
"Because I love you." He answered.
"Liar." She whispered.
"I don't lie." He told her and kissed her.
They had stayed together since then. Even though it had frightened him to love her it frightened him more to lose her. They hung out together all the time and after about six months she lost her virginity to him.
They had been watching American Graffiti. She had told him every time she watched it, it reminded her of him.
"That reminds you of me? That kid reminds you of me?" he asked.
"Yes, except your cuter." She told him.
"I'm insulted." He returned with a smirk.
"Why? This is like my favorite movie." She said.
"It's like my least." He said in a false girly voice.
"You know you're really hot when you make fun of me." She smiled.
"Your that in love with yourself?" he questioned sweetly.
"Oh yeah." She whispered and kissed him it got passionate.
"Are you sure ?" he asked her quietly and she nodded.
After that they'd been even closer. He thought it was impossible. They remained close and they continued having sex until that one fateful day.
"I think I'm pregnant." She told him.
"Your what?" he asked.
"Pregnant." She whispered.
"Oh." he said quietly his world was crashing down around him.
"I'm not sure though." She told him.
"Well I guess we should uh find out," he said uncertainly.
"Yeah we should." She agreed and they went to buy the pregnancy tests.
She wasn't pregnant. They weren't going to be parents. After that though she hadn't wanted to have sex anymore because she didn't want to take the chance. It was hard turning back in that kind of relationship. They were once again screwed. He knew there was no hope, but holding on was all he could do.
"John, what happened to us?" she asked.
"I don't know." He replied.
"Will we ever be the same?" she asked.
"I doubt it." He replied.
"Well I suppose this is goodbye." She whispered.
"No, marry me." He responded.
"This is completely ridiculous." She said.
"It's not." He whispered.
"It is." She responded.
"Please marry me." He begged her.
"I can't. I can't." she shakily replied.
"You can." He pressured.
"I can't. I got to go I'll see you." She decided.
"Don't go." He begged.
"What else am I supposed to do?" she asked.
"Marry me." He repeated.
"I'm only eighteen." She told him.
"I know your age." He muttered.
"I can't. I'm going. I have to. Bye." She repeated and walked away…
"I love you." He whispered and walked away not wanting to see her reaction.
He had forgotten how to live without her in his life. He didn't know how to get by without her. Without Claire Standish he was nothing.