Disclaimer: I don't own Super Junior. Bleh.
A close but unclear relationship results in an unrequited love and breaks both hearts and friendships. Yesung/Siwon
Okay, first let me just say that I have NOTHING against Siwon. In fact, I think he's a cool guy. Really, but I had to pick one of them to be the... one you're not supposed to feel sorry for and after eenie meenie miney moe, it ended up being Siwon. This story probably isn't very good, seeing as it's my first try at a not happy/silly/stupid Super Junior story... Love it anyway? :/
Yesung crept around the corner. It was late at night and yet, he couldn't sleep. He crept into the other members' rooms, one by one, completing his nightly ritual. Throughout the past few nights, none of them had woken up and found Yesung in their room touching their philtrums. They thought he had finally snapped out of the habit, but really, Yesung had just gotten much better at it.
Tonight, he saved his favorite member's room for last. Slowly, he creaked open the door and stole in without a sound. Standing at the foot of the bed, he saw his sleeping beauty, whose face was bathed in the moonlight that shone through the gap in the curtains. That sleeping face was holy and angelic, just like the bible he treasured so much. While admiring his aesthetics, Yesung was hit with a familiar pang of longing.
How he wished so much to be able to release everything, to confess his love to this man he'd admired for so long… But, Siwon did not show any signs of affection at all. Yesung just could not bring himself to face Siwon, and so, he avoided him.
With a sigh, Yesung turned away from the sleeping face and left, without subjecting his person of affection to his strange nightly habit.
The next day, Yesung watched as Ryeowook brought in a friend he had known since middle school. Siwon, being the gracious gentleman he was, immediately got up and offered his seat to the newcomer.
The following day, Yesung watched as the newcomer once again showed up at their dorm and sat down next to Siwon at the breakfast table. Siwon didn't greet anyone else.
The day after that, Yesung watched as Siwon and the newcomer took off for a day around the city. They left without saying good-bye.
Yesung approached Ryeowook, the only person who knew of his secret love, a few moments after the door had closed behind them.
"Wookie…?" He asked tentatively. Ryeowook looked up from his book with a slightly sad expression on his face.
"Yesung. What's up?" Yesung was startled by the look. Putting his own worries aside for the moment, he asked Ryeowook if everything was okay.
"… I feel like I've been tossed aside. I know Darius and Siwon get along well, but it would be nice if Darius also remembered that I existed… I feel sad… because well, I'm the one who introduced them to each other, aren't I? But don't mind me, things will work out. How are you?"
"I think we have similar problems. Well, Siwon never greeted me in the mornings to start with. At least, not exclusively. Sure, he said good morning to everyone at the table, but he never singled me out…"
"Yesungie…? Are you okay?" Only then did Yesung realize that his eyes were getting moist.
"A-ah… Wookie, sorry. Um… just pretend this didn't happen. Ever." He hastily rubbed his eyes. "It just feels like… I'm not important. To him."
"It does seem like that, doesn't it… But don't worry Sung, Siwon does care about you. He cares about us all. I just don't know why he doesn't show it…"
"Yea…"
A few weeks later, on Super Junior's next day off, Yesung watched again, as Siwon left with Ryeowook's friend. This time, they were going to the spa.
"Siwon." Yesung startled himself. What came over him? He had no clue but after calling out Siwon's name, he had to come up with something. Siwon turned around in surprise.
"Yesung? What's up?" Yesung hated the indifference in his voice.
"Um… what are you doing this afternoon?" Yesung almost slipped on his words.
"Not much, I'm going to be spending most of the day with Darius-ssi here. He just came back from the States and he's teaching me English. Why?"
"Ah…" Yesung inwardly cringed. "Nothing… much… I guess I was just wondering."
"Okay then. Darius-ssi, let's go." And with that, Siwon and Darius walked out the door.
That afternoon, Yesung again approached Ryeowook.
"Wookie… you know I really don't think Siwon cares for me at all…"
Ryeowook peered at Yesung over his laptop. Seeing the expression on his close friend's face, he shut the laptop with a click and set it down on the floor.
"Have you tried talking to him about this?"
"How can I? He's completely apathetic towards me. All he does is hang out with Darius… and well, if I can't even talk to him normally, how am I supposed to talk to him about something like this?"
"Do you want me to come with you?" Yesung was startled by the offer. He looked up from the ground, into Ryeowook's eyes. He only saw genuine concern. He slowly nodded.
The next day, Darius came to the dorms yet again. Yesung wanted to scream. He shot Ryeowook a look that plainly asked, "How are we going to get Siwon alone now?" Ryeowook smiled sadly at him. Yesung looked down at his food. Sweetened toast with butter and cereal with milk. Usually very appetizing to him, but now it all looked gray and bland.
Within twenty minutes, the breakfast table had been cleared and Yesung was in the living room with Leeteuk and Shindong. Ryeowook had disappeared off somewhere on his own, and Yesung couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed.
Suddenly, the front door slammed. Within a few seconds, another door, one within the dorms, had slammed shut as well. Leeteuk looked up in alarm. He quickly went to the front door to see what had happened. Yesung, meanwhile, ran quickly towards the source of the second slam. As he suspected, Ryeowook's door was the only door shut. He tapped it quietly.
"Who…"
"It's me, Yesung."
"Mm…" Taking that for an invitation into the room, Yesung quietly pushed the door open. Ryeowook was sitting, hunched over his knees, in the middle of his bed.
"Wookie… what happened?"
Ryeowook looked up and glared at the door, before shifting his softening gaze towards his fellow KRY member.
"I spoke to Darius just now. I asked him how things were going… when he told me that things were wonderful, I asked him if he could keep in mind that there were other members as well, and asked him if he would mind spending some time with us also…"
Yesung walked over and plopped down on the bed next to Ryeowook.
"What happened after that?"
"He got extremely upset. I don't really understand why… I didn't ask him to stop spending time with Siwon…"
"It's okay Wookie. Why don't we try talking to Siwon tomorrow. Maybe he can help us rectify this situation…"
The next day, Yesung and Ryeowook hurriedly finished their cereal and managed to corner Siwon while Darius was in the bathroom. But even though Siwon was the one who had been cornered, he confronted the two with an authority that almost caused them to shrink back with guilt.
"Ryeowook, I heard yesterday from Darius that you upset him. I don't know exactly what you said to him or how you said it, but is this how you treat your friend?"
Ryeowook looked down sadly at the floor and it hit Yesung with a pang that Siwon had already abandoned the use of formalities when talking to or speaking about Darius. Even so, Yesung felt his heart beating loudly inside his chest, just from looking at the godly face of the man he had adored since their first meeting. Quickly shaking that aside, however, he stepped in and spoke in Ryeowook's defense.
"Siwon… um, I don't think you should scold Wookie… he was just trying to get Darius-ssi integrated into the rest of the group…" Nonetheless, Yesung knew that Ryeowook was also trying to get Darius to spend more time away from Siwon. After all, he had been the one to approach Ryeowook and ask for his help in getting Darius to stop monopolizing Siwon's time.
Siwon directed his attention away from Ryeowook and instead, softly gazed at Yesung's face for a moment before turning away.
"Well, if that's all it was… I suppose I'll go talk to Darius about it then…"
"I'm sorry Siwon," Ryeowook interjected, "but as the one who made Darius upset, perhaps it would be better for me to go talk to him." The resoluteness in Ryeowook's voice caused both Siwon and Yesung to stare at him in awe, Yesung being the happier of the two.
"V-very well. Could you ask him to meet me in the living room when you're done then?"
"Sure thing, hyung."
Yesung and Siwon walked to the living room in silence.
"I-is there something on your mind?" Yesung asked, shakily trying to break the oppressive silence. Siwon thoughtfully stared up at the ceiling for a while.
"Well… I guess you could say that I hope things between Ryeowook and Darius work out…" He frowned. "And I hope it gets worked out soon. We don't want any tension between those two…"
"Siwon, can I ask? Who is Darius-ssi to you?" Yesung immediately stopped in his tracks, appalled by the words that made their way out of his mouth without first checking with his brain. Siwon, on the other hand, seemed to find absolutely nothing wrong with the question and kept on walking.
"Darius? He's a good friend. Someone I like being around. He shows an interest in everything I do so there's always something to talk about. Why do you ask?"
"N-noth…"
"I'm sorry? What did you say?" Siwon asked. When he didn't get a response, he turned around. "Yesung?" But all he saw was an empty hallway.
Yesung knocked quietly on the door to Ryeowook's room.
"Come in…" Alarmed by the quiet and slightly depressed sounding voice that emerged through the door, Yesung rapidly pushed it open.
"What happened Wookie?"
"I tried to get him to understand that I just wanted him to meet the rest of the members, but he so stubbornly insisted that I was simply trying to get him away from Siwon. Although that may have been our intention at first… okay forget that, we weren't even trying to get him away from Siwon. We just wanted him to let Siwon spend some time with the other members, right…?"
"Namely, me." Yesung thought.
"But now I really think he needs to get out more and spend time with other people and…" By this point, Ryeowook's voice was thoroughly agitated and his face was pinched in frustration.
"Wookie…"
"I didn't know he was this pig-headed. Why can't he just understand?"
"They say love can completely change someone's personality…" Yesung muttered dejectedly.
"Well, eventu- wait what? Yesung, Darius cannot possibly love Siwon."
"Why not?"
"He has a girlfriend. Back in the states."
"Does Siwon know this?"
"Probably not."
"Well maybe Darius-ssi has fallen in love again…" Yesung pressed on, hiding the elated feeling in his chest.
"I wonder… Siwon's probably going to come confront us again tomorrow," Ryeowook sighed as he flopped backwards onto his bed.
"Ryeowook must be psychic…" Yesung thought bitterly as he stood off to the side while Darius hid behind Siwon. Siwon angrily scolded Ryeowook for upsetting his friend.
"From the way he's defending Darius, it looks like Siwon really does love him…" Yesung mused. "It looks like Darius really has fallen for my angel as well." By the time Yesung came to his senses and decided to go defend Ryeowook, the conversation had already ceased and Siwon was walking towards him.
"Yesung, is everything okay? You just disappeared yesterday." Yesung looked up happily at the concern Siwon seemed to be displaying, only to be shot down again. Siwon wasn't even looking at him. Yesung realized that Siwon had addressed him while paying more attention to Darius's crooked tie. To add to the embarrassment and anger building inside him, Yesung saw that behind Siwon and Darius, Ryeowook had sunk down to the floor, head buried in his arms.
Yesung glared at Darius. Siwon, who did not receive a response to his previous question, again looked at Yesung questioningly, and even more so when he saw the darkened features on Yesung's face.
"Yesung…?"
"NO. Nothing is okay. Nothing at all. This is all your fault" Yesung spat at Darius. "Why can't you understand that Wookie is just looking out for you? Instead you pull Siwon into your wretched mindset and both of you attack him. Now look, he's sitting on the floor crying. Whatever, I don't care anymore. You two go off and have your little fun."
He quickly strode around the stunned pair and knelt down to the floor in front of Ryeowook.
Ryeowook looked up, eyes glazed over and pleading. Yesung knelt down and put his arms around Ryeowook's smaller frame, pulling him into a protective hug. Ryeowook quietly sniffled a few times before he lost complete control and broke into a full out sob. Yesung rubbed soothing circles into the younger man's back.
After a few minutes, Ryeowook seemed to calm down. Within a few seconds of that, Ryeowook was fast asleep in Yesung's arms. Siwon and Darius were still standing in the hall, completely shocked. Once again, Yesung glared at them before picking Ryeowook up and carrying him swiftly into his room.
Once Yesung lay Ryeowook down on his bed, he walked over to the windows and let the curtains fall down to their natural state, hiding the room from the morning sun. He shut off the lights and sat down next to his sleeping friend.
"Why did it end up this way Wookie? Why couldn't both of them just understand…?"
A soft tapping drew his attention to the door. It couldn't have been anyone else since everyone else had already left the dorms. Yesung just prayed it was his more favorite of the two.
"Come in…" He almost growled. Very gently, the door creaked open. Yesung breathed a sigh of relief, all tension in his shoulders dissipating upon the sight of his beloved.
"Siwon…" But then Yesung reminded himself that Siwon had partially caused Ryeowook's grief. He steeled his shoulders slightly.
"Yesung… Is Ryeowook okay?"
"Sleeping." Siwon was unnerved by the terseness of Yesung's response.
"I guess all the stress and grief must have caught up, huh?" Siwon said uncomfortably. Yesung just stared sadly out the window. After a few minutes, Siwon got up and rubbed the back of his head.
"Yesung, can I ask? What did you mean when you said 'I don't care anymore'? It's been bothering me…" Although Siwon was unable to see it, Yesung's face softened at the thought.
"What am I to you?"
"Eh… you asked a similar question about Darius yesterday… and then you disappeared…"
"Don't worry, there's nowhere to disappear to today."
"Well…" Siwon wrung his hands together. "You're a band mate and a caring member…"
"That's it?" Siwon looked down at the floor.
"What would you say if I told you I loved you?"
"I…" Siwon stared at the door to the hall where Yesung knew Darius was waiting.
"You're a fool…" Yesung said quietly.
"What?" Siwon uttered sharply.
"You were the one who asked Ryeowook if that's how he treated his friends… but now that he is doing this to Ryeowook, there's no problem…"
Siwon sharply stood up from the bed, causing it to shake and Ryeowook to stir. He rapidly walked towards the door.
"Siwon." Siwon stopped just short of the threshold without turning around.
"I'm sorry." Yesung murmured. "But I guess I really don't care anymore. If you two can make it work… then I guess that's best."
Siwon left the room with a click of the door. Ryeowook woke at that moment and sat up rubbing his red and puffy eyes.
"Sungie…?" Yesung turned to face his fellow KRY member, tears already spilling down his face.
"Sungie? What happened? Are you okay?"
Yesung couldn't answer. Instead, he let the tears cascade down his face as he cried his broken heart out into the arms of the only person who could possibly understand his pain.
Author's Comments: My first try at angst. Or something like it. As you can see, I don't usually write stories like this... Anyway. Topic 23 of 100.