I do not, and most likely never will own any aspect of Harry Potter.

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September 4th year

"I wonder if Evans' summer was good... only so we can give her a true marauder welcoming, right? Turn half her hair gold?"

Insert knowing looks between Remus and Sirius (Peter is oblivious) here.

"James, that was last years prank."

"Oh. Yeah. Right."

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"Evans will you go to Hogsmade with me?"

"No."

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September 5th year

"Did you see Evans just now? She got sooo hot over summer right? Like to give her a pull right Padfoot?"

Insert another knowing look between Remus and Sirius (Peter is still oblivious) here.

Hasty addition, "Not that she'd be any good being a geek and all. but still, wow right?"

"Yeah, right I guess she is kinda hot now, nice rack."

"But..." worried tone, "You wouldn't want to go out with her right, wouldn't bed her right?"

"Uh, maybe." Worried death glare. "I mean no, no definitely not."

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"Evans, go out with me?"

"I'd rather swim with the giant squid."

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September 6th year

"Reckon Evans will go out with me this year?" hand slides through hair "I mean there's no reason she wouldn't right?"

"Reckon Evans has grown testicles? I mean she only stated two-hundred and fifty reasons not to last year, I'm sure she's got plenty of good ones left."

"Two-hundred and forty-six actually Moony."

"You counted?"

"Um, no. Calculated guess."

"I reckon you've got the bigger chance mate."

"Cheers Padfoot."

"Actually I was talking to Remus about the testicles thing, but in fairness she has to run out eventually."

"I dunno, she's in the library often enough."

"It's true, and she could always use the 'I couldn't go out with you because for some peculiar reason I might be drugged into marrying you and then I wouldn't be able to have children because of your lack of testicles and that would disappoint me greatly.'"

"That was quite a good one, doesn't quite beat 'If I wanted pubic lice I'd go and visit Snape.'"

"Thanks guys, your real encouraging."

"And if her brains AND memories where completely dry we could return to the failsafe 'Up yours Potter'."

James sinks down into his seat a little further with an expression of misery on his face.

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"Lily will you go out with me?"

"Jump off the astronomy tower three times with no protection, no way to stop your fall and nobody to catch you. If you're still around after that I might consider you."

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September 7th year

"I am certain that this year is THE year."

"Yup Prongs, the year. Just like last year and the year before that, and the one before that AND the one before that."

"Be nice Padfoot, it's his last chance."

A rare squeak "I think you'll get her Prongs, how can she resist? And it's practically"

"Exactly. I've got it all set up."

"You mean YOU gave Dumbledore crack?"

"Yeah, why else would he make you head boy and not Remus? Scrap that, why would he make any of us head boy, especially you?"

"No idea, I'm not complaining."

"Yet, you're not complaining yet. James you're going to have one hell of a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, there mightn't be time for Lily.

"Bullshit, Evans will do the work and even if she didn't Prongs ALWAYS has time for Lily"

"Spoken like a true friend Padfoot. It's the perfect opportunity to show to her that I've matured, that I've changed."

"No offence Prongs, but I don't think Evans is going to want to shag you 'cause you've 'matured'"

"I don't want to shag her." Instant quiet in the compartment, all eyes directed at James. "Well I do, duh. But I don't want to only shag her."

"That's my boy Prongs, spoken like a true manwhore."

"NO. Merlin's saggy Y-fronts, I LOVE HER." Slow whistle.

"Prongs, your auctioning yourself off to love at 17? How shameful."

"Fuck off Sirius."

"But Prongs, your forgetting this one vital titbit. She. Hates. Your. Guts."

Thwack.

Thud.

Grunt.

"That hurt James."

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"Lily, you know I'm Head Boy?"

"Sadly by some obscure misdemeanor, yes."

"Well would you like to-"

"I will not go out with you Potter."

"Somebody's expectant. I wanted to know if you'd like to maintain a civil relationship with me, friends if you like."

" "

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A/n story's gonna start next properly chapter, just setting the scene a wee bit.

Review.