Title: Scattered Feathers
Fandom: Harry Potter
Length: 2,200 + words approximately
Pairing: SS/LE
Rating: PG 13
Setting: Severus Snape is looking forward to going back to his fifth year at Hogwarts, but feelings have changed between him and his best friend
Warnings: Snape/Lily ship, Bully!marauders, minor hair-touching fluff.

Disclaimer: J.K Rowling is the creator and true owner of the characters of Hogwarts and the wizarding world, and no infringement of copyright is intended. I'm just messing around with them for my own amusement.
Author's Note: First posted to a thread on the Mugglenet forums, I wanted to try out a Teenage!Snape fic based on the time where he finds himself falling in love with Lily Evans (:if: Snape and Lily ever had anything gong between them at school – :and: if it was Snape, not James Potter – as some have suggested - who was the "awful boy" that Petunia spoke of in OoP. And yes, I have read the HP Lexicon)

SCATTERED FEATHERS

Severus noticed there had been a change in the way things were between them lately, and it bothered him. For one thing, she had only invited him around to her place once during this year's holidays - and when he was there, he noticed she seemed more preoccupied, detached than she was last year. He had also found himself feeling more awkward than usual. The visit had still been a friendly one, as they generally were – but the bond of childhood camaraderie that had existed before between him and Lily, was, for some reason, simply was not so strongly present this year.

He could see that she had still been genuinely unhappy to see him have go back to his parents when his stay ended, but when he was there, it was if the two of them found the old tricks they'd played together had suddenly become boring – and they couldn't yet bring themselves to think about what to do next. Well, maybe that was just him.

Sometimes, while he was with her back at the Evans's, he had a feeling that she was waiting for him to do ... something. Something that, whatever it was, he felt profoundly unready for. He hoped that the friendship they had would not suffer from this … change in the mood between them, whatever it was. But while it was clear she was acting differently around him – to be honest, he too was feeling differently about her. That was another thing that worried him. He didn't want to lose his closest friend, even if she was a girl. He needed to think about it, to work out what to do.

Predictably, the situation at home didn't give him enough peace to do that. If anything, the fighting between his parents had become worse. He spent the rest of that summer shut away in his bedroom, shooting down flies with his wand. It was the best way that he could keep calm, when things started getting too bad downstairs.

He was looking forward to going back to school this year even more than before, and he couldn't kid himself that it was merely for the chance to do well in his OWLS - and kick-start his hoped-for career as an auror, or to catch up with Mr. Filch again - and maybe dob in a marauder or two for him … Severus was eager to return to school, because it also meant being able to see Lily on a regular basis again.

Yeah, she's my friend, he told himself, but she hadn't invited me over to her place as much in the holidays, and it'd just be nice to see her again, that's all. He expected the explanation to satisfy him. It did – a little. He also thought a little about Malfoy and his friends – they were still stimulating company, even though some found them more than a little frightening. But Severus appreciated that edginess about them, and took pride in his ability to handle it. Not every fifth year had the guts to run with the big boys, and he knew for sure that he did.

There were some things, though, he could share with Lily that Malfoy would not understand – and that was part of the reason why he hoped that small rift between them (if there was one) would fix itself soon. Malfoy understood power – and so did he – but Severus could not see himself being satisfied with just that. There were too many things to learn and master, than to waste his time with mere social climbing. Lily in the past had understood that, as well as shared his thirst for knowledge. He and she could talk about things like counter-hexes, potions, and theories behind obscure jinxes. It had made him feel less isolated, and he hoped, again, that he would not lose that.

When he was finally able to catch her alone – and not in a gaggle of girls - it was in the library. He had been looking for a book on the principal theories of counter-hexes – not that it was required for his homework, but for his own personal reasons. Spotting a familiar flash of dark red hair, he worked his way through the maze of shelves and books until he finally caught up with her. He smiled when they met, and hoped he did not make himself look stupid by doing that. Somehow, it had suddenly felt important to make a good impression on her.

"Oh, hi Severus" she said, when she saw him. Not as wildly enthusiastic a greeting as she'd normally have given him, but still warm, and welcoming. She definitely had changed, grown more detached, more airy ... Or maybe more sophisticated was a better word for it, he thought, and realised his face was growing warmer as he awkwardly said "Hi" back to her. Oh no … don't tell me that I'm becoming embarrassed around her! He thought in panic, as Lily fixed him with one of her knowing looks … with those intense green eyes. "Sev, you're blushing," she said, in that teasing voice of hers that he knew so well. "No I'm not!" he replied haughtily, pulling a mock-grin which showed the teeth on one side of his mouth.

"You are!" Lily answered back, and Severus, glad to be finally back on familiar conversational ground, replied by saying "You must have been watching me pretty closely then, to catch me out at that!" - which was a lie, since half a minute ago his face was burning – "Blush-Boy!" Lily taunted back, to which Severus replied "Yes, well …" whilst ducking his head, so that his hair hid most of his face. "Your making yourself look cute when you do that" Lily said, while pushing her own hair back over her shoulder with her hand. Both of which caused the skin on Severus's face to reach burning point. He found himself lost for words.

"Um … well, yeah" he mumbled, through an inane grin he was glad that his hair (he hoped) had hidden. "I wouldn't call myself cute, though", he finally said – getting back his composure. "Smart, tough, going places maybe … much better kinds of things than cute" he said, with a smile he hoped would look cool to her. Lily didn't change her expression, instead she reached forward, and in a move that startled him slightly, tucked one side of Severus's twin curtains of hair behind his ear. "Sev, don't panic if a girl ever calls you something like that", she said, "I've got to go now, I have a divination class in a few minutes. Bye". And then she left.

Severus did not move from the spot for what seemed like a long time. All he could do was lean against the bookshelf, clutching the books he had been carrying, trying to make sense of the last conversation. Only when he recognised the sound of Filch's footsteps approaching, could he snap out of it and act in a somewhat more normal way. "Hi, sir" he said. "Been keeping yourself out of trouble, lad?" replied Filch, and Severus nodded. "Wish more of the other students would make an effort to be a bit more like you" Filch replied, "They don't care about the rules here as much as they should".

"No, sir, they don't" agreed Severus. "Well, you just keep on setting an example and doin' the right thing, Master Snape" continued Filch, "and if you ever see any of that marauder gang getting up to any serious mischief …" "I'll let you know" grinned Severus, and the two of them exchanged a knowing look, before Filch continued on with his patrol. After he had left, though, Severus allowed himself to sink to the floor by the foot of the bookshelf, leaning his back against a row of tomes on magical wildlife control. He had a lot to think about.

He wondered why he felt so uncomfortable when Lily told him not to panic if 'a girl ever calls you something like that'. Severus did not want any girl to 'call him that', just the thought of it was unbearably embarrassing – unless it was Lily, he realised. It began to dawn on him that she had become important to him in more ways, than the one which he had been used to. Suddenly, with that understanding, came again the fear of losing her. In his mind's eye, he imagined her transfigured to a beautiful chestnut coloured bird, who'd fly freely from one place to another.

He winced at the thought of her flying away from him, and into the hands of other boys … especially if it was one of the marauders, the notorious bully gang that been harassing him since they had first met. Even worse ... if it was Potter … though Black was almost as bad … a disturbing vision came to him, of Potter's hands closing around her wings, followed by a smouldering nest littered with chestnut feathers, holding a single egg that had a lightning-shaped crack in its shell … Severus closed his eyes, and tried to turn his mind onto something else. He did not like that thought. He tried instead to see himself holding out his hand, and Lily flying over to rest on it - but it was difficult. Something kept getting in the way …

He heard the noise of footsteps around him, and looked up in time to see a forest of legs surrounding him. Looking further upwards, he saw four faces that were familiar to him for all the worst reasons. "Go away", he simply said, "Not that you'll be able to jinx me in the library and get very far", he added with his best sneer. "Oh, we can wait for that, Snivellus" said Black. "You wont be able to hide from us in here forever" Pettigrew was smirking in the background, Lupin pretending that none of this was actually happening.

"What is it this time?" Severus hissed, though he was beginning to guess … "We shouldn't have to find a reason to eliminate ugly scum like …" Black started, but Potter cut in on him "Shut up, Black!" he said, and then continued (while Black sulked) "I saw you with Evans, Snivellus" he snarled, and Severus noticed that Potter had his wand out, pointed at him. In the library. (he reminded himself to report that to Filch later on …) "Put that thing away, Potter, before Filch catches you" he said.

"Not until I give you a little caveat which will be useful to remember, if you value your health". Potter said, and his wand didn't move, "And I'm only going to warn you once. You keep away from Evans, you hear? If I ever see – or hear – of you even touching her with your greasy little hands, Snivelly, I'll …" "Filch is coming!" Pettigrew hissed – and heads turned to the end of the row, where Mrs. Norris stalked towards them, as though she owned every inch of the place. The marauders panicked and fled after Pettigrew out the other end of the row … except for Potter, who paused for a moment. "I mean it, Snivellus!" he hissed, jerking his head to see if Filch had arrived yet, "Don't you go near her – you hear?"

Severus said nothing, simply raising an eyebrow. For a moment, Potter looked as though he might put his wand to a use on Severus that was not so much magical as violent – before he too ran when hearing Filch's voice.

When the squib came back to double-check on the row, he saw Severus sitting on the floor against a bookshelf, reading. "Nothing been bothering you?" Filch asked. "No sir" Severus replied. "That's good, lad, that's good" Filch replied, and continued on his way. It was then that Severus realised that he had been pretending to read with his left hand. His other, hidden under the books on his lap, was still wrapped tightly around the handle of his wand. He must have reached for it unconsciously when the gang had turned up.

Rubbing his fingers (he had gripped the wand so tightly that he'd marked his skin), he thought about the disturbing new development between the marauders and himself. Lily had become involved – Potter had decided that he wanted her. Not that this in itself would worry him much – he knew her well enough, having practically grown up alongside her, to know that she was not the type to fall for a thug like him. She is too clever, he thought, and had never shown any sign of being attracted to the dunderhead.

And anyway, Severus continued to reassure himself, Lily and I are both above those idiots. She's too smart to go to a fool like him. He remembered the daydream vision of the chestnut coloured bird. Surely she, of all people, would think it wiser to go to one who'd politely held out his hand, than to the other whose style was to grab. A new vision came to his mind – he and Lily, after school was finished, doing great things together, while the marauders fumbled and fell by the wayside. He liked that thought … but when he tried to imagine again the chestnut bird flying onto his hand, he couldn't. Something, for some reason, kept getting in his way.

-END -