This is just a little 'dessert' for all of you who were kind enough, read, review and laugh at How Ianto Jones Learned About Point Seven. Thanks to Rabid Badger for triggering the idea.
Ianto Jones's Revenge for Point Seven
With the highest command staff from UNIT paying a diplomatic visit, Ianto decrees that the mugs are to remain on the shelves for the duration and that only the best crockery is to be used.
Jack's surprised to learn that Torchwood Cardiff actually has best crockery. He's been there longer than anyone else and has never even suspected the existence of best crockery, let alone seen it. But sure enough, Ianto produces matching art deco cups and saucers for eight people. Jack suspects that he could have done it for 18 people too. With matching dinner service.
"Did these come from the Rift?" Jack asks.
"No, sir, they came from House of Fraser." Ianto replies.
Jack receives his guests in the boardroom. Ianto brings in a tray of coffee, already poured into the fruit-and-diamond pattern cups according to each guest's individual preference for sugar, milk and cream. He proffers each cup to its designated recipient. He's carried the tray easily through the Hub, without spilling a single drop from cup into saucer. It is hot and delicious and they all sip it with obvious enjoyment.
Keeping up appearances, he also serves Gwen and Tosh with coffee at their stations, in the same Queen Anne art deco china, without even coming near to spilling any on his way. They take appreciative mouthfuls and smile at Ianto. He winks back.
Finally, he gets to Owen, who is down in the autopsy bay.
Owen is still wary of Ianto after the unfortunate incident of the nutmeg herbal tea. But, as he gratefully takes his cup and saucer from the tray, he begins to hope that perhaps Ianto's offensive is over; or at least abating. It's been two weeks, five days, six hours and thirty seven minutes, approximately, since he last had a cup of Ianto's coffee and he's missing it very badly.
"Thanks mate." he says, draining the cup in one go and replacing it on the tray. It's not even decaf, which pleasantly surprises him. Then, still thirsty, he makes his mistake. He tries to ingratiate himself in the hope of getting another cup. "It's amazing the way you managed to carry that all the way from the kitchen, through the Hub, down the stairs, and into the autopsy bay without spilling a drop. It was still brimming-full and piping hot when you gave it to me."
"It was easy, Owen." says Ianto, self-deprecatingly. "I simply took a mouthful from the cup when I left the kitchen and spat it back in just before I gave it to you. Kept it nice and warm, too."
I'm wondering if there should be a story that explains what happened to Jack's clothes in How Ianto Jones Learned About Point Seven. Only problem is - I have no idea myself. But I'd like to write it to find out. What do you think?