This one came to me as I was watching a comedy routine the other night. I wondered what Booth would do if Bones decided to tease him during the day while he was working at the Hoover Building. This is what I came up with. This takes place after the fourth season episode The Fire In The Ice. I hope you all enjoy it. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Booth was having trouble concentrating on his work. He'd been allowed to go back to work on desk duty now that his back was feeling better after Bones had cracked it one more time, despite his fear that she was wrong about her whole "misdiagnosed" conclusion the night before. He'd stood in his living room afraid to move for half an hour after both Bones and Perrota had left the apartment. Damn Perrota. He wasn't interested in her, but just as he was about to start making some headway with Bones Perrota shows up. Bones got jealous, he was damn certain of that despite what she would likely say about that conclusion, so she had left. Perrota, smart woman that she was, knew what direction the wind was blowing, and left as well. She'd apologized this morning and said she was not going to get in the way of him and Bones. The question was, was the damage already done? He sure as Hell hoped not!
Ping! You have one new message. He looked over and saw that his computer was letting him know that he had a new e-mail. He clicked on it and read the message, his eyes widening in complete shock. HOLY SHIT!!!
Booth~ I want you. My pussy is so wet just thinking about you. Bones.
His jaw about hit the floor. He closed his eyes and gulped audibly, he breathing becoming slightly ragged. Shaking his head, he opened his eyes again and saw the message still there. Yep. It was real. Bones. Wet Pussy. Wants him. He looked at the clock. 8:30 am. Great! He knew Bones had a very important meeting that was going to be lasting all day long at the Jeffersonian, so he couldn't call her and find out what the FUCK was going on. One thing was for sure, though. Things were going to change between him and Bones. No way was he going to be getting e-mails like that and not get any. He groaned as he thought of all the paperwork that he had to plow through. Bones was pure evil!
Two hours later he was trying to concentrate, with little success, on his paperwork. The image created by the e-mail from two hours before plagued him. Cullen had already shown up demanding an explanation about where even the first part of the paperwork was.
Ping! You have one new message.
Booth winced. Oh shit! He glanced over and confirmed his worst suspicions. Yep. It was from Bones. Damn! But it could be important, so he had to open the e-mail, and she knew that, damn her! He clicked on the message and groaned. This was even worse!
Booth~ I want to suck your cock. I want you to cum in my mouth so I can taste you. BTW. I swallow. Bones.
Sweet Mary and Joseph! He had to be dreaming! This was a fucking nightmare! The painful tightening in his pants caused him to begin reciting Saints as fast as he could. When that did no damn good he switched to sports stats. That helped a tiny bit, but not much. He flipped open his cell phone and punched four on the speed dial.
"Hey, Studly!" Angela's always too cheerful voice came through loud and clear.
Ignoring the moniker, he jumped right in. "Did you put her up to this shit?" he demanded.
"What shit, Hot Stuff?" she asked.
"Bones has sent me two X-rated e-mails this morning!" Booth said, his voice raised in frustration. Thank God his office door was closed. "She knows I have to open any e-mails from her in case it's something important! How the Hell am I supposed to get any work done when I get stuff like that from her???"
"I have nothing to do with it, Booth," Angela stated calmly, though inside she was squealing to beat all Hell. Bren was finally taking some initiative where the FBI Stud Muffin was concerned!
"Then what is going on? Is she trying to drive me insane???" he asked, completely beside himself. Images of a very impure nature were going through his mind and he was going to be labeled, once again as per usual, a pervert by his priest at confession that coming Sunday after Mass.
"I'd say she's finally tired of that bullshit line of yours, Seeley Booth," Angela replied, dropping any pretense of humor. "I'd suggest you sit back and get comfortable because if I know Bren, she'll be making you miserable all day long before she comes right out and says what she wants, despite her X-rated messages."
"Fuck," Booth sighed. The line. What had he been thinking when he spouted that crock of shit? Had his brain taken leave of its senses? Well, time to suck it up and take your medicine like a man, Seeley Boy.
"Oh, I'm sure that you'll be doing that before the day is out," Angela chuckled, once more back in teasing mode.
"You're not helping, Angela," he grated out, his enamel surely being worn off his teeth by now. That's one more thing. His dentist was going to be able to finance an island vacation repairing the damage Bones was the catalyst of.
"Bye, Studly," Angela said with another laugh and then hung up.
Ping! You have one new message.
"God Dammit! Is she trying to kill me?" he asked out loud as he very nervously clicked on the e-mail. "FUCK!" he cried out, his eyes glued to the screen.
Booth~ I thought you might like this picture of me that I took last night on a timer with my digital camera. How do you like the shirt? Bones.
Booth couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen. There in front of him was a picture of Bones leaning against a door frame. That wasn't so bad. But it was what she was wearing, or rather not wearing. All she had on was a mans gray t-shirt, and he was damn sure it was one of his FBI t-shirts he loved. He could tell that she was naked underneath the t-shirt, and she was obviously aroused as her nipples were sticking out in a completely blatant manner. Then he noticed the message that incorporated the FBI stencil. She had altered is so that it now read:
For The
Pleasure of
My
F.B.I.
Stud Muffin
The FBI acronym was across those awesome breasts of hers, filling out the damn t-shirt like it never had been before. The length of the shirt went down to about three inches below where the apex of her thighs had to be. She'd obviously did a small bit of shortening to make it fit that short on her. It should have gone down to nearly her knees. He carefully saved the image onto a blank CD he had as he would be spending a lot of time looking at that fantastic picture when Bones was not around, and then almost cried when he saw the still towering stack of paperwork awaiting him. Cursing her evilness he got back to work.
By 1:30 he'd managed to make a sizable dent in the stack of paperwork, despite having taken a few occasions to look at that photo again. He knew he was only adding to his own suffering, but what the Hell. It was Bones, after all. Now he was having some lunch with his principal agent that he was in charge of. Charlie was a good agent and was sure to be made a Special Agent after his next quarterly review. Booth was actually having a nice conversation now that their short meeting was over when he heard it. He visibly winced when that now familiar, and dreaded, computer voice sounded.
Ping! You have one new message.
"Something wrong, Booth?" Charlie asked. He saw how tense his boss' demeanor had just become.
"No," Booth sighed. "Just another e-mail from Bones. She seems to want to make sure I'm not bored today," he said smoothly, though Bones was making sure he was not only not bored, but that he was extremely frustrated, too.
"Well I'll get back on these reports," Charlie said, taking some of the dreaded paperwork with him.
Booth nervously clicked on the e-mail. He closed his eyes and groaned. This was so fucking unfair!
Booth~ I got so aroused thinking of what we're going to be doing to each other real soon that I had to excuse myself from my meeting to go play with my pussy until I orgasmed in the ladies room. I want your cock inside me so bad, Booth. Bones.
Booth looked up at the ceiling. "What'd I do this time?" he asked plaintively. "Did I forget to confess something? Murder someone in my sleep? Give me a hint because I think this is the kind of thing that those divine miracles are supposed to be used for. Any help at this point would be greatly appreciated Big Guy." Seeing after a moment that no divine miracle was going to be forthcoming, he groaned and then got back to work, all the while thinking of what he was going to be doing to Bones that very night. Assuming she was serious in these messages, of course. Otherwise he was going to be spending the night in the hospital with a case of terminal horniness.
The rest of the afternoon got progressively worse as Bones kept sending him e-mails every hour on the hour detailing in more and more detail the various sexual positions she enjoyed. The last one at 4:00 was the straw that broke the camels back in his opinion. It didn't have any text, just a picture. A picture of Bones nude leaning against the same door frame that she was against in the first picture she'd sent him that day. He had to admit it was tasteful and not vulgar, but a naked Bones was a naked Bones, so his motor was now in full overdrive. At 4:55, though, it was a whole lot further that even the last e-mail could ramp up.
"Special Agent Booth?" a young man with Jeffersonian jacket on said from his door.
"That's me," Booth said as he signed the last of that damn paperwork.
"Dr. Brennan sent this. I was ordered to make sure that it was given only to you," the man said with full seriousness.
Booth frowned. It wasn't an e-mail, so it couldn't be bad. They had not case, so she shouldn't be sending anything over, though. He signed the clipboard acknowledging that he did indeed receive the manila envelope and when the guy left he opened it, staring at the contents. Now he knew the Big Guy was pissed about something. He had to be. There was no other explanation for the purely sinful pair of black lace and silk panties that he pulled out of the envelope. A lightly feminine musky fragrance wafted up at him. She DIDN'T!?!?!? He looked and found a note in the envelope and he quickly opened it. She DID!!!
Booth~ These are the panties I wore all morning when I was so aroused. I took them off when I masturbated to thoughts of you in the ladies restroom. I thought you might enjoy having them. See you soon. Bones.
"Do you like your present?" a very familiar voice sounded from his doorway.
He looked up as he rapidly shoved the panties into the top drawer of his desk. "Bones!" he said loudly. He didn't dare stand up as he had a raging hard on at the moment and he would only embarrass himself if he stood to face her.
"Well?" Bones asked, an evil glint in her eyes as she walked into the office, closing the door behind her. She began to loosen the belt on her trench coat. "Or perhaps you want to see this?" she asked as she pulled the coat apart and revealed that she had on nothing underneath but a black garter belt, sheer black stocking, and black high heeled "Fuck Me" pumps. Her favorite necklace was around her neck, of course, along with her favorite ear rings. After a moment of enjoying his near catatonic stare at her body, which was shielded from behind by the trench coat, she closed the coat and belted it shut.
"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Booth managed to squeak out as his voice, a few octaves higher than normal, came back to him.
"If you think I'm seducing you and ending that line between us, then yes," Bones told him directly. "As for what I have planned for tonight, I plan on giving you a massage to relax your back, and then I intend to pleasure you all night long. When you're back gets better, you can take charge and we can try out some of the more daring positions I mentioned earlier. How does that sound?" she asked, a brow quirked in question. She'd taken a risk all day, having decided to see if his prudishness was real or she had misinterpreted it, by forcing the issue of the line, but inside she was a bundle of nerves. While she was very open and vivacious about sex and her sex life, she could not recall being this forward with any other man she'd been with. It had only been three months since her ill advised dalliance with the deep sea welder, and a month since she had so screwed up when she met Booth's brother Jared, but she wanted to be with Booth. Her fears of losing him to the likes of Perrota had spurred her to do this.
"Sounds great," Booth nodded vigorously as his voice lowered a couple of octaves closer to normal. "Just let me settle down a bit and then we can head out fo here. And Bones?"
"Yes," she smiled.
"We are going to be having a long talk about appropriate e-mail material and also you've got some explaining to do. I don't ever remember reading anything about you being an expert on psychological torture," he told her. After a moment of reciting sports stats in his head he was at least presentable. He got up and walked over to Bones, letting his right hand guide her by the small of her back out of his office. "Oh, and Bones? Not a word to sweets about what went on today. The walking pimple is too young for this stuff."
The field agents scattered around the bullpen area heard Dr. Brennan's quiet laughter as their supervising Special Agent and his partner got into the elevator and left for the day.
A/N: This will be a two shot, but I wanted to see the reaction to this first half. I will be posting the second half either tomorrow, or the next day depending on when I finish writing the next Booth's Lie journal entries based on this evenings episode. I hope you all enjoyed this one. Gregg.