Aki: I'm have like 4 other fics i should/could be working on right now, but Ivan wouldn't stop beating me with his pipe once i started typing! Plus I had this idea for FemAmerica for a day or 2. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1:

Somewhere on the east coast lived a hero. A valiant, detecated hero that lived for his people that would do anything to protect them. His people loved him and he in return loved them. Always having to be the center of attention, always having to have the last word that was good ol' America. Always the hero of his own little story, on the side of justice and all that bull.

But we have to start his story a bit farther to the north for now.

Canada was having a lovely time eating pancakes and feeding Kumajiro the bear. It was peaceful in his house and he didn't care that the other nations always forgot about him, the exception being America but only because they were brothers, and when other people were around he seemed to forget about him too. Really, he wasn't worried that at the next world conference he would be forgotten about by everyone, and afterwards get beat up by Cuba thinking he was America. He defiantly wasn't trying to not think about the meeting in a few hours and how he had to attend. No, he wasn't trying to drown his oncoming sorrows in maple syrup and pancakes. No siree bob.

That's what he was telling himself, anyway.

"What are we going to do for the rest of the week, Kumajiro?" Canada asked the bear sitting across from him.

"…Who are you again?" He asked.

Sighing, he replied "I'm Cana-."

His phone proudly started singing the Star Spangled Banner, so he got up to see what Alfred could possibly want from him at the moment.

"Hel-?"

"Mattie, baby, I haven't heard from you in decades!" a loud, obnoxious, female voice shrieked in his ear. He blinked. What?

"How goes life?" the female voice was asking. "Do people still forget you when they stand right in front of you?"

"Eh…America?"

"The one and only heroine of the story!" she replied.

"Alf-…Amelia?" he squeaked. This couldn't be happening!

"Yes?" she asked slowly. How? How was she back? He needed a second to think. What was Amelia doing out and about? And calling him of all people?!

Nows about the time we should start explaining things. We all know that America is completely awesome and all, but what people and most other countries don't know is that whenever America wanted to expand, i.e. have children, he would become a very attractive and very horny woman named Amelia for an undisclosed period of time. She would always seek out the most powerful country she could get her hands on regardless of political ties and screw them until she became pregnant. Then she would sliver away and hid for nine months or so and come back with a new child i.e. state.

But the last time that had happened was in 1959 and Hawaii came into being.

And why the hell did she call Matthew?!

"W-w-w-what happened to Alfred?" He asked, dreading the answer. Where else could he go if he wanted more kids?

"Nothing."

"…Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing."

Now Matthew was just confused.

"…Huh?"

"Well I got to go. See you soon! Bye Mattie!"

"No, wait, Amelia!" All he heard was the dial tone.

It wasn't a good sound. Not at all. Nope.

'What do I do now?' he thought. 'Maybe if I got a hold of Arthur-' his thoughts were cut short by the pounding on his front door. That was followed by a "Mattie, I know you're at home! Open the damn door!"

What the hell?

There was a crash and a "Damn, I don't know my own strength…what the hell has Alfred been doing in his free time?" before a pair of feet made their way towards him in the living room. He turned around as she came through the door. She was the same height as him, but her hair was now sunflower yellow instead of looking like a field of wheat. It was a little longer coming to her chin, and looked as if it was windblown, except for Nantucket standing proudly atop her head. Her eyes were the same shade of sky blue but were larger and her face was smaller causing Texas to sit lower on her nose than usual. She was wearing a bomber jacket that was smaller than the original the Alfred wore zipped up and that was all he could see on her, besides her…red, white, and blue cowboy boots?

"Sup Mattie?" she said as she went hug him.

"Wha- when- how…?" was all he could get out before he was pressed to her chest. He was forced to bend down a bit and he felt leather and something that was defiantly bigger and softer underneath.

"Aw, you got so tall Mattie. You're the same height as me now and everything!" Amelia squealed. "And you've gotten so cute. If the girls of the world only knew you were there, you'd be beating them off with a stick."

"Amelia-"

"And your hair is so soft, what do you do with it? Al uses regular soap, can you believe it?"

"Amelia-"

"Ah, is that your bear?" she asked letting him go suddenly. Him already leaning because of her grabbing him and her suddenly letting him go caused him to fall over in a heap behind her. "Last time I saw him he was a tiny thing. What's his name again?"

"Amelia!" he spoke sitting up to look at her.

"Yes?" she asked looking down at him expectantly.

"What happened to Alfred?" He asked hoping to get an answer out of the insufferable woman in his house. "And you're not n-naked under that, are you?"His face felt like it was on fire after that left his lips.

She looked at him before saying "What? Of course not. I've got clothes on."

"The first part…?"

"Well…" she sat next to him on the floor. "Al was just so tired, the poor baby. I decided for it would be better for the both of us if I…took over for awhile. Poor thing was so worn out that he wasn't even eating properly."

"Al never eats properly." Matthew pointed out.

"Yes he does! What's more nutritious than hamburgers? They have protein, starch, and veggies in them! That's like 3 food groups if you don't add the meat. Plus, what's better than beef?"

"Uh…"

"What is this, 20 questions?"

"How'd you get here so fast?" That had been nagging him since he heard her break his front door down.

"I was outside when I called, and I was at Nina Y.'s before that. I probably left there at…11:30 last night. I drove that sweet Harley that Al had in the back of his garage there and then here. Great huh?"

"Just wonderful." Matthew muttered as he stood up. What was he going to do now? Amelia wouldn't stay occupied with Kumajiro for long and she was just as easily bored as Alfred. He had to do something, and do it fast.

But what on earth could he do?!

"Hey hey, am I still at war with that Commie bastard?" he suddenly heard. Amelia was looking up at him, while Kumajiro was waddling away.

"Russia? No your no-" It was then that he remembered that he had to be at the World Conference in-he looked at the clock on his wall- 2 hours. He looked from the clock to a confused and bored Amelia sitting in the middle of his living room. He did that a few more times before making up his mind.

Turning to her he said "Amelia, we have to be in Japan in 2 hours."

She looked uncertain, then started to fiddle with her fingers not looking at him. "Is…is Kiku angry with me?"

"What? Why would he be?"

"You know why." She didn't look back up at him, instead playing with the loose fibers in the carpet.

"That happened ages ago. He forgave you already. The two of you have become pretty close actually."

She brightened quickly. "Really? Then lets go!"

Aki: Um...well...When "Amelia" was last out it was in the middle of the Cold War and I assume(definatly making an ass out of myself here) that Japan was still having problems as a country because of the 2 atom bombs that were dropped there because of things like rebuilding and left over radiation poisoning and such. If anyone wants to correct me or something do it in a review! If not Review anyway & tell me if you want me to continue!