Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or Doctor Who. No profit made.
A/N: This is my first trip into the Torchwood fandom. I decided to start easy, writing my take on how Jack and Ianto got together in the first season. M-rated so if that's not your thing, leave now. Many thanks to my wonderful beta, AquariusNX01. Also thanks to all the wonderful TW/Doctor Who writers who inspire me.
1.
Ianto stood on the roof of his apartment building, staring out at the lights of Cardiff. He had always found Jack's roof habit, an affectation he suspected his boss had lifted from Batman comics, to be rather pretentious. But this night, with the city looking so peaceful and beautiful, Ianto understood.
It was almost enough to reconsider his plan. Almost, but not enough.
He looked down at the pavement. Would it be instant? Perhaps a bridge would be better, though impact on concrete was more likely to be quick and painless than impact on water.
He just had to climb over the wall. Then, he would let go. Worse case scenario, there would be nothing. Nothing was better than the pain, which was constant and relentless.
He was about ready to climb up and over the wall, when the sound of footsteps broke his thoughts. He turned around, and he saw a familiar silhouette emerging from the shadows.
"It's a long way down," said Jack, who came up next to Ianto and stared out at the city.
It surprised Ianto to see Jack there, though it shouldn't have. Jack had called to check on him three times that day.
"What are you doing here?" asked Ianto, figuring Jack had used Torchwood technology to track him.
"There was something in your voice when I spoke to you today. Something not right," replied Jack.
Ianto turned his head to look at Jack. "What was that, sir?"
Jack sighed, and he locked eyes with Ianto. "You sounded happy. At peace."
Ianto swallowed. He had been at peace since he'd decided to end everything and join Lisa. But Jack, as usual, was a step ahead of him.
"I've got a project I need you to work on at the Hub," said Jack. "Come. It's almost morning, anyway."
Jack spun on his heels and headed for the elevator, and Ianto followed without question. He didn't even know why, but he somehow knew that his plan was foiled. The moment was gone, and Jack had saved his life, again.
A couple of hours later, they were in Jack's office. The rest of the team hadn't arrived, and this was the first time he had been alone with Jack - at least for any significant amount of time - since Lisa. Ianto's heart pounded in his chest. They'd been working on a project, tracking inverse rift spikes. But Ianto knew that was just an excuse.
Jack was watching him. Making sure he didn't do anything stupid.
After Lisa died, Jack had given Ianto the choice of retcon, but that meant forgetting Lisa - his Lisa - and he'd rather have died. He told Jack as much. Ianto had expected him to roll his eyes or mock him, but Jack just looked at him, wistfully.
"It's not like you'll see her," said Jack.
"How would you know, sir?" asked Ianto pointedly.
But Jack hadn't answered, and Ianto had wanted him to answer. With access to the archives, he knew how many times Jack Harkness had survived the unsurvivable. He knew how many years the man had worked for Torchwood, seemingly without aging. And it hadn't just been Suzie's blood Ianto had cleaned off the Plaas the night she died. Jack had been shot, a suspicion which Ianto had confirmed via CCTV.
Ianto wondered if Jack would tell him the truth. Ianto didn't know why Jack didn't age or die - except that he didn't appear to be a vampire or anything bollocks like that. He appeared to be human.
They'd been working a while longer when Jack stood up, and he looked out the glass window of his office, over the empty and quiet hub. "I was married once," said Jack. "She died, along with our baby. If I had had a chance to save them…or thought I had a chance, I don't know what I would have done."
Ianto met his eyes, and for the first time since that awful day when he'd lost Lisa for good - he saw something other than coldness. He saw understanding.
Maybe that's why he was so enraged, thought Ianto. Maybe he saw something of himself in my actions. My desperation.
Ianto took a deep breath. He tried to formulate a response. But instead, he just said, "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Jack turned. "Yes," he said, and before Ianto knew what was happening, Jack violated his space. He was standing very close to him, and he put his hands on Ianto's shoulders, gently. Ianto breathed in those pheromones, and he closed his eyes, half expecting, half wanting Jack to kiss him. He remembered the kiss that Jack had used to revive him when Lisa was still alive, and a threat…the kiss had saved his life.
"I need to know if you're okay. If you can handle being back here, with everything that has happened. I don't want to find you splattered on the pavement," said Jack.
Ianto nodded. "I have nothing else, sir. I have to be fine with being here." Then he felt Jack's strong arms around him. Ianto resisted for a few moments, before relaxing and letting go. He didn't cry, but he trembled as Jack kissed his the top of his head and soothed him.
Was this a seduction? he thought. But he didn't feel like Jack wanted anything more than to comfort him.
All of a sudden, Ianto spoke. "I'm sorry I called you a monster," he whispered.
Jack squeezed him a little harder, and he laughed softly. "Of all the things to apologize for," he replied.
Ianto didn't know how to respond to that, but he laid his head on Jack's shoulder.
"I'll look after you, Ianto," whispered Jack. "You're part of this team, for real now. I'll take care of you."
Ianto wondered what that meant - and what that would entail. Jack had been relentlessly flirtatious with him before - since the night they first met. Ianto had encouraged him, telling himself that the more Jack liked him, the easier it would be to hide Lisa and do what he had to do.
He hadn't expected to like Jack in return. Respect him. Admire him. Find him charming. Yet, over the months he worked for Jack, all of those things crept up on him.
I won't cry in front of him, not again.
Finally, Jack stepped back. And Ianto noticed something about him. This wasn't about Lisa, he realized. Something was going on with Jack. Instinctively, he thought of the rose petal from earlier, but he said nothing.
"Will that be all, sir?" he asked again.
"Yes," replied Jack, and Ianto headed downstairs to start making coffee.
That night, Jack emerged from his hatch, disturbed by visions of Lahore in 1909. He wanted to do something in response to the trouble he knew was upon them. He was surprised to find the lights on, and Ianto at a workstation.
"You shouldn't be here," said Jack, though he was relieved to have company. He didn't want to be alone.
"Neither should you," replied Ianto.
Jack approached the younger man. Their embrace, just a few hours earlier, gave Jack the courage to placed his hand on Ianto's shoulder, albeit tentatively. Ianto looked back at him, but he didn't seem to mind. "What have you got?"
"Funny sort of weather patterns," came the reply, and Jack knew how much trouble they were in.
He needed to go see Estelle.