A/N: So the other day I was thinking about what might happen if Edward was no longer a vampire. Would Bella still be interested in him? My guess was no, so I wrote this little story to explore that idea. This is set a couple of months after Edward leaves in New Moon. What happens is that Edward somehow manages to reverse the vampirism process and become human again. He then comes back to Forks to see Bella.

Please don't review to this and complain that the plot doesn't make sense. I know that it is impossible for a vampire to turn back into a human. This story isn't about how Edward became human; it's about Bella's reaction to that. So please don't complain about that if you decide to leave a review. Also, sorry if the writing is shit. It's ridiculously melodramatic and emo and purple because I was trying to keep Bella in character. Feel free to complain about that if you like.

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Only she may wank over them.

I hope you like the story!

I didn't know how much more of this I could take.

Three months had passed since he left. After all this time, crippling pain still ripped through me whenever I so much as thought his name. It felt as if a hole had been punched through my chest, baring my heart and lungs to the outside world. Sometimes I was so numb that I could barely feel the hole. But there were days when the pain was relentless.

Today was one of those days.

The pain was so unbearable that I had simply curled up in a ball on my bed with my arms wrapped around my punctured chest. I knew that it was a Saturday, but I wasn't sure what time it was. Little things like time didn't seem to matter anymore.

I lay in that position for what felt like a very long time. I was eventually disturbed by a faint knock on the front door downstairs. I didn't bother getting up to see who was at the door. It was probably Billy Black or Harry Clearwater or one of Charlie's other friends. Nobody ever came to see me anymore.

I heard Charlie's footsteps, and then the sound of the door opening. There was a brief silence, during which I closed my eyes tightly and attempted to regain my numbness. But Charlie interrupted my suffering.

"Bella," he called from downstairs. There was something underlying his voice; some emotion that I couldn't identify.

I felt a twinge of annoyance. Why would Charlie want me to come downstairs? I wasn't interested in any of his friends. They meant nothing to me, and I meant nothing to them. But I obediently got out of bed and moved towards the door.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Charlie standing near the door. He looked at me wordlessly, his eyes wide and astonished. I stared back at him. "What is it, Ch- Dad?"

Charlie glanced towards the door. "Bella…" he began hesitantly. "There's somebody here to see you."

I didn't feel any curiosity to see who was at the door – nothing seemed to spark my curiosity anymore – but I nodded and moved past Charlie to meet the unknown visitor.

When I saw him, my stomach dropped and my heart leapt into my mouth. I gaped at him, my head spinning with shock and confusion. It was him… but it wasn't him. His eyes were green, not golden butterscotch; not even coal black. His skin was no longer pure white; his cheeks were pink, as if blood had rushed to them in the same way that it rushed to mine when I was embarrassed. But no, that couldn't be it. That was impossible.

But the thing that shocked me the most was that he wasn't... beautiful like he had been before. When I had last seen him, his face had been more beautiful than that of an angel. He looked nothing like an angel now. I stared desperately at his resoundingly average face, trying to find the beauty that I had spent so many hours dreaming about, but it was gone. It wasn't that he was ugly. I supposed he was somewhat attractive… for a human.

The word human filled me with dread. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move.

"Bella," Edward said softly, gazing at me with those disturbingly green eyes.

An involuntary gasp escaped me. I had been expecting to hear the beautiful wind-chime voice that I knew so well, but that was different, too. His voice sounded uncharacteristically rough.

Edward watched me sadly. "I know that you must be angry at me, and you have every right to be," he said. "I am truly, truly sorry, Bella. I should not have left you. It was the biggest mistake of my life and I will never forgive myself for it."

His words barely registered with me; I was too busy panicking quietly. I eventually remembered how to speak, though my voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper. "What… what happened to you?"

Edward smiled slightly and said, "Let me explain." He took a deep breath and began to speak, slowly and quietly. "After what happened at your birthday party, I felt horribly guilty. I knew that if I stayed with you, it was only a matter of time before you were hurt again… and I couldn't bear the thought of that happening. The only solution I could see was to leave you forever. Of course, now I realise what a foolish idea that was. I should never have-"

"I know why you left," I said, more sharply than I had intended. "I want to know what happened to you."

"I'll explain that to you now," Edward promised. "What you have to understand is that I never wanted to be a vampire. I spent one hundred years struggling to come to terms with my new existence, and I eventually did. But when I met you, Bella… suddenly I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted to be human again, so that we could have a normal life together. So I searched for ways to reverse the process of vampirism, but I could never find anything. Eventually I started to feel that it was a lost cause. Then, in the past three months, while I was struggling to live without you… I finally found what I was looking for. I found a way to regain my humanity. It was a difficult process, and very painful, but well and truly worth it. And now here I am."

Edward smiled, his eyes bright with happiness. It occurred to me that I had never seen him this happy before.

There was an uncomfortable silence while I struggled to think of a reply. After what felt like a very long time, I whispered, "Do you mean that… you're not a vampire anymore? You're human?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean," said Edward. His smile faded when he noticed the look of horror on my face. "What's wrong, Bella? Don't you see what this means? We can be together now. We can get married, have children, grow old together… have normal human lives. I thought that was what you wanted: to be with me forever."

I felt a sudden wave of fury wash over me. My cheeks flushed red. "Yes," I snapped, "as a vampire! Not a human!"

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly at the disgust in my voice. "I don't understand."

"You were going to turn me," I hissed. "That was what I wanted! To be beautiful and strong and powerful like you! We could have lived for eternity, stayed young forever! And now you've just thrown that all away, like…"

My voice died as I saw the hard look on Edward's face.

"So," he said slowly, "what you're trying to tell me is that all you ever wanted was for me to turn you into a vampire, so that you could be unnaturally beautiful and powerful. So that you could be a monster." He looked accusingly at me, a deep line appearing in his forehead. "You never wanted me; you wanted what I could give you. Beauty, power, money, expensive cars and clothes… those were the things you wanted, not me. Never me." His voice was painfully bitter.

I shook my head frantically, speechless with horror.

"You never loved me, did you?" Edward whispered, his voice desolate.

My heart started to beat faster, thudding against my chest wall. "I – what? Edward… how can you say that? Of course I love you! I told you that I – I wanted to be with you forever."

"You said you wanted to be with me forever as a vampire," Edward corrected me coldly. "Implying that now that I'm human, you don't want to be with me anymore."

Edward was silent for a moment, while I tried to think of some way to argue against what he was saying. My brain seemed to have shut down.

"I don't think we can be together anymore, Bella," said Edward eventually. His voice shook slightly, but his face showed no emotion. "I can no longer give you what you want. I cannot turn you into a vampire."

"There's still your family," I pointed out desperately. "They could turn me."

Edward snorted and shook his head. "Actually, no. My family no longer care for me. I think they see this as some form of betrayal, and they despise humans anyway. Now that I am one they want nothing more to do with me." He smiled ruefully. "I'm alone in the world, I suppose."

My body felt heavy, as if it were weighed down by despair. "But... what am I supposed to do, Edward?" I cried, my eyes filling with tears. "All I've ever wanted is to become a vampire. What will I do now that I can never be one?"

"Live a normal human life, like everybody else," said Edward, not unkindly. "Finish school. Go to college. Start a career. Marry a normal human man, like Mike Newton. Have children. Grow old and die, as people should."

"But I don't want those things!" I shrieked. "I don't want to be a stupid, weak, useless human!"

Edward gazed at me calmly. "You have no choice. You will be just like everyone else, as you should be."

It was then that the sun broke through the clouds, bathing both of us in golden light. I should have known that Edward's skin would not sparkle like millions of tiny diamonds as it used to, but somehow I was still shocked.

Edward stared in wonder at his dull pink skin, a smile spreading across his face. He looked back up at me, still smiling. "I think it's time for me to leave," he said. He turned his head to look around him, at the other houses, the nearby forest, and the pale grey sky. "There are so many things I want to do."

I stared silently at him, lost and defeated.

"Goodbye, Bella," said Edward as he turned away from me. "Thank you for everything."

I stood alone on the porch and watched him until he had disappeared from view. Finally, I turned and went back inside the house; back to the dull, monotonous human life that I had come so close to escaping.

A/N: So yeah, that is what I think would happen if Edward couldn't turn Bella into a vampire. Can you tell I'm not a Twilight fan? :) Please leave a review if you have any feedback. I may add more little fics to this story (although they will be about different things), but I'm not sure yet. We'll see. Thanks for reading!