By Tracy (biancaheart@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG-13
Category: Whitney
Spoilers: Season 1, Pre-Season 2
Summary: W/L breakup.
Disclaimer: Don't own Smallville- If I did, Whitney would still be part of the show- and the Song "Sympathy" is by BBMak. Don't own them either, but really wouldn't mind…
She didn't see him.
That's what he told himself. She
wouldn't…not if she knew he could see…she wouldn't flaunt it, she wouldn't rub
it in his face, leaving him face down, sprawled in the dark, dark, mud.
Would she?
Maybe it was something that just happened. Something that meant nothing.
Maybe it had been going on for a long time. Since he left, since his Dad got sick…
He was no longer the most important man in Lana Lang's life.
He didn't know how to feel about that.
I don't want
nothing
Cause nothing's all you give
I don't need your touch
That could be too much for me
I don't want your lies
Burning deep inside of me
Look into my eyes
I don't want your sympathy
He walked, not quite knowing where he was going.
He had no direction anymore. Once upon a time, in a time that now seemed like it was a long time ago, he had plans. He had dreams. He was on the fast track to success.
Life happened.
Bitter bile rose up in his throat.
Lana looked happy, standing there in Kent's arms.
He couldn't remember the last time he had made her happy.
Should've known it was over
Can we still bring back before
As the love is certainly colder
You don't need me any more
Now nothing lasts forever like I said before
I don't want your sympathy no more
Who knows quite how a relationship disintegrates? Is it time? Or the gap in their ages?
At the beginning of the school year, Lana had been his best friend. His girlfriend. He loved her, she loved him. It was known, it was understood. They knew each other inside out.
Things had changed.
He'd lost two of the most important things in his life this year. Loosing his football scholarship to Kansas State still burned. All the afternoons spent practicing, working out, studying old tapes, it was all a waste. Trash. Whitney Fordman was no longer the best.
Loosing his father….loosing his father was the worst thing on Earth. To loose the person that had been your hero,
your inspiration, your coach and biggest supporter- it was too much. He'd lost a part of himself, an innocence
that he could never regain on that rainy day when the casket was lowered into
the ground.
He could no longer be a kid. Kids could deny that death existed, kids could run away and cry.
Adults had to stay standing beside their mother, with feet of cement even though they wanted to runaway. Adults had to sort through countless belongings, as if material objects could ever be as valuable as that person.
Adults had to run their own lives.
I don't want my love
It's been misunderstood
So I think I'm giving up
I can never give it up fair way
Lana had grown up as well -to be honest. What a big difference a year made. This year was worse than others- with the added grief of that horrible day in September. The idyllic childhood phase, devoid of warfare on the home front was gone.
People can surprise you. He'd thought that Lana was happy- being a cheerleader, being part of the "in- crowd". She surprised him- and he loved her even more for it. Loved the fact that she enjoyed reading terrible Russian novels instead of those dime a dozen romance novels. He loved watching her work in the Talon, smiling and filling orders. He loved that she became more independent.
She didn't need him anymore.
Hell, if his Dad hadn't been sick, they would have broken up a long time ago. She would have been Kent's personal lovebunny for a long time.
He didn't want to lean on Lana anymore.
Whitney had become more
independent as well.
I don't want your lies
Burning deep inside of me
Look into my eyes
I don't want your sympathy
"Whitney!" She exclaimed, startled. "I didn't know you were here…"
He looked up, the porch light catching the blond flecks in his hair. "I got a weekend pass."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought it would be nice to surprise you."
"Oh, yeah…"
A moment of uncomfortable silence passed. Lana sat down on the bench beside him.
Whitney leaned over and kissed her on the lips.
He thought about last year. Kissing on this same bench. The kiss then was magic- alive and electric. He'd wanted to keep on kissing her all night- to keep feeling that magic, that feeling that made him feel so much more, so much more…
Than now.
He pulled away.
"Why are we kidding ourselves, Lana?"
"Kidding ourselves? What are you talking about Whitney?"
He got up off the bench, walked over to the side of the porch and looked at the stars. The stars were so bright. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at Lana.
"Us. We're kidding ourselves about us."
"Whitney…"
"Things have been different for a long time, haven't they Lana?"
"Everything changes…"
"You don't love me." The words were charged with electricity.
"What?"
"Oh, give it up Lana. Can you tell me, honestly and truly, that if my Dad was still healthy and alive, that we'd be together? That you didn't stay with me out of compassion and sympathy? That poor Whitney shouldn't have to go through all this shit by himself? That you could help me? If you loved me…if it were love keeping us together, it would be a lot different Lana."
"I care about you Whitney! How dare you say that I don't."
"See, Lana. You care about me. And I care about you. And that's why I'm letting you go."
He turned and left the Lang house.
He never looked back.
I don't want your sympathy
I don't need you here with me
I don't want your sympathy
I can't take it anymore
Because I'm hurt enough before
The tears came later that night. Hot, sweaty, salty tears poured down his face.
He was hurt; but he would survive.
He had himself, and for now, that was enough.